So endoscopy is inevitable, please help

[snowgoose]

ah .......I understand about your husband . my son is very similar in going very cold if my anxiety crops up .............it is his way of coping and protecting himself . So get it x

take the day in small chunks ........I found thinking only a segment at atime helped me . eg getting up and going outside to breathe the fresh air and shower ..tick it off ...........the journey .....tick ........once in hospital and dept .tick ............the rest will follow I promise better than you think

I have read here that the docs can reassure you after the endoscopy re what they saw . so hopefully you wont have to wait and worry .

off for bath now .....hope you do same and have a nice book and cd to listen to .
xx

[jessieblue]

Well 1 hour before I leave for the hospital. Still cant imagine getting this done, so we will see what happens. I feel reasonably calm, wierd, but very alone and very sad. My husband decided late last night he had to go in to london to work (he usually works from home on a wednesday) Although I was planning to go alone I assumed he would be here to look after my son, who is still sleeping. He is supposed to be getting home soon to do that, but I know he will be late. Just another worry on the worst day of my life and I didnt want my son, he is 12 to be alone, especially in case something went wrong and the hospital phoned here .......... you know all the thoughts that go through your head. Just hope I am ok and safe to come back home to him.

Do you think I will be able to drive myself if I wait there for 4 or 5 hours? Will the hospital let me get a cab home?

Well thanks for everything, I guess I will soon know.
xxx

[snowgoose]

hope you felt the support from here on your shoulders when you log in

let us know how you are if you are up to it Jessie xx

[jessieblue]

Hi, well I am back and still alive! I thought I would feel more relieved at getting through it, but I feel really down. I got through the procedure ok, well okayish. Had a small panic attack and started crying like a baby when they started the procedure and I realised the sedation wasnt going to put me to sleep! They just soldiered on regardless and thankfully they did otherwise I definitely would have walked. It was more painful than I expected. As well as the gagging, it really hurt my throat and tummy when they pushed the gas in and took the biopsies. Its really quite violent, they did hold me down so I didnt hurt myself and they just kind of shove the thing down, but at least it is quick. It wasnt very nice, but it was doable. I am really glad they just carried on because it was over very quickly and I did feel a little proud. I felt cheated though as I had to stay for a few hours because I had had sedation, yet i never even had a little doze! I was looking forward to the drugs that switch the world and my head off for a few minutes! I sneaked out and drove myself home when they discharged me as it seemed rediculous to call someone to pick me up when i didnt feel the least bit drowsy. Date rape drug my a**!

I now feel really worried about what they will find. She said I had gastritis, which has worried me as now I know i have something wrong with me and that is despite the medication, omeprazole I have been taking. I wonder why I am still making so much acid in spite of the drugs. Have to wait for the biopsies to come back in 3 weeks and see what they have found. I was really hoping they would say everything was normal and that it was all in my mind or just my stress. But not so, I do have a condition so have to see what else they find before they know how to treat it I guess. I know what will happen, i will have to have repeat endoscopy to see if the gastritis has cleared or got worse or whatever, or manometry. Just know this wont be the end of it!!

Thanks again snowgoose, your words of comfort were with me throughout and I am very greatful for that.

[snowgoose]

hi Jessie ...........am appalled at how you were treated .
got to get my thoughts together ............am just very thankful you are home .
and hey you gal ..................so so proud despite it . x

[jessieblue]

Thanks sweetie. x Its not that they werent kind, I mean I can see why they have to do it because otherwise people would just call a stop and then have to reschedule and its a waste of everybodies time. If they had stopped I would have bottled it, I couldnt say anything cos of the tube and the gagging, so they carried on, but it was right to do so, cos it was soon over and I was greatful it was done and i dont still have to face it. They were all kind and held my hand. I was on my side and they cleverly put my lower arm across my body and held it there which kept me sort of cocooned, they talked to me all the time and were very reassuring, but they just got on with the job. Just typical that the medazolam didnt work for me, i had 3 mg?? 3 something anyway and I think something else, she had told me she would give me a large dose so I was well asleep. The nurse said bye, have a good sleep, see you when you wake up, but nothing, not even a bit sleepy!!! Just my luck I guess, but now I know next time will be GA or not at all lol

Worried about the gastritis now tho!

[honeyp1e]

Hi hope your feeling better now? when do you get your results ?

I have all these symptoms - I see a gastroenterologist on wednesday having tried to avoid doing so for 2 years! I know my symptoms mean I have to have endoscopy and with a fear of vomiting, I am petrified, but resigned that I now have to have it as I cannot go on like this. My anxiety is horrendous just waiting for the appt. I have acid reflux even though I am on omeprazole. I get burning, bloating, feeling like something is stuck just above my stomach. Pain under ribs on left side, sort of burning/stinging pain and look like i am 9 mnths pregnant a lot of the time. Nausea and burping etc etc.

I HATE is so so much as i am just feeling anxious/sickly everyday as well and to top it off am also emetophobic (this just seems to make everything worse) i have canceled the endoscopy twice because of my phobia but i really need it done i don't think i have stomach cancer or anything i no its just gonna be to much acid or something but why do we have to suffer everyday...
do you find you feel sick everyday ?? i do & i hate it of i get a tight anxious sickly knot feeling in my belly as well everyday !!!!
I hate the pregnant look as people stop me in the street who i no and will ask me am i pregnant
I have had loads of tests ultrasounds/ x-rays/ bloods etc all came back clear well i did find i am intolerant to wheat but i havent eaten that in over a year i have been gluten free but i still get all the symptoms so i dunno what it can be ????
i just hope that sppn i will find out my doc has booked me another endoscopy but i am having it under general anaesthesia as i was just awful when i went there for my 2nd appointment i just cried so much and explained about my phobia of vomiting even the doc said i was to distressed to have it done xx

[jessieblue]

Awww honeypie, your symptoms are exactly the same as mine. I get them at different times sometimes only one symptom, then that is replaced by another sometimes 2 or 3 together. The feeling of something stuck just above my stomach is my most common. Stinging/burning pain just under my left ribs and in the middle there. Also the pregnant thing, seriously i do look like i am 9 months gone most of the time. Nausea at some time every day, without fail! You are right to get the endo, but so good you are getting the GA. I will insist on this if i have to get another and I felt exactly the same desperate to get some help so resigned myself to having it done. Tell them about your emet and ask for stemtil with your GA, it works wonders and I have always been fine after a GA, in fact its a great feeling, just blacking out and coming round when its all done, the relief is immense. You will be fun, I promise, its such a short procedure you wont need much anaesthetic, so you will feel fine anyway.

Thank you Dahlia and yes, I am so glad its over, but nervous about the results and if my gastritis will get worse and make me sick all the time. Typical emet eh?? Now I know there is a reason, I feel more fragile. Wish I didnt know really because I am on the same treatment just more of it, but then I will probably never be able to come off it. I dont know maybe gastritis is often found on endoscopy or maybe they tell you something like that so as to give a reason for soing the sndoscopy in the beginning, I dont know, but I dont like any of it. I told the doctor of my fears and I think she was really mean not to give me more sedation if the max dose is 5mg. I am tall 5 10 and weigh about 11 1/2 stones so I would need a big dose I am guessing. What was wrong was that she only gave me the sedative about 30 seconds before shoving the scope down my throat. Didnt wait to see if it worked or if i needed more. Just got on with it. I think that was wrong because although its over with quick, I will never have another now unless under GA, no way and now I dont trust doctors at all, because I was told I would not know about it at all by several of them. Also, if I was awake, surely I could have been given a chance to "swallow" the cam myself, instead it was just forced down, my tongue is all scraped and red raw and I imagine my throat is the same seeing as that is really sore and swollen too! For an anxiety/depression patient I dont think it was very kind. xxx

[stuart39]

ive had endoscopy with just a little sedation and throat spray and would prefer to have a general if i had to go through it again.
the camera is quite large and i was gagging a fair bit. its true that if you try and relax its bearable but flinch a bit or get that gag reflex and you want to cough the thing up. can you imagine having it permanently down your throat???? that would be dire anyway you have to be careful about discharging yourself after sedation or a general and driving yourself home is risky.

[stuart39]

actually youd think the size we have mobile phones now compared to the "bricks" people carried in the late 80s that the endoscopes would have shrunk down to an ultra thin piece of kit by now. i suppose its still as thick as it always has been so the doctors can maneouver it around your system easier???? surely they could make thinner scopes without losing the guidance control.... most people could probably go through with the procedure under local.