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Thread: Filled with fear I'm dying.

  1. #1
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    May 2013
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    Filled with fear I'm dying.

    Hello all I'm back again... can't sleep not particularly anxious just mind tends to ramble on abit in the night. I'm so scared of everything like literally everything to the point it's stopping me doing things. To scared to eat nuts incase I have suddenly developed an allergy, couldn't go on rollercoaster in theme park the other day incase I caused a tear to an artery or something of that manner, can't play fight cos if you tap me on the head dear God the fear I will be filled with that's a very short list of things in My massive list of things I'm to afraid to do. It doesn't help that I also have actually been feeling ill for a whole.. incredibly tired, dizzy, waking up with itchy skin, pains in arms ect ect convinced myself there is something bad now because iv been feeling so ropey... Tara palmer Tompkinsons death set me off she died of a perforated ulcer ... I have had a suspected one for about 2 years now some days im nearly crippled by piercing stomach pains... I'm just so scared I'm going to die an leave my kids they are only 7 and 4 months they need me can't bear the thought of them growing up and my daughter forgetting me and my son never knowing me breaks my heart. Plus I'm absolutley petrified of dying anyway it's the great unknown isn't it.. I'm scared if God exists which I'm inclined to believe he does I'm on a straight ticket to hell iv not been a good person in my life. I hate it when people say god doesn't exist when u die that it it's over finished. It's such a hard subject to wrap my head around that everything that make me me they way I think and feel will just stop abruptly and that it like poof I have disappeared I can't comprehend my soul if u will just stops existing... still terrified of the hell idea 😟 I don't even know why im waffling on so much I'm lying in bed can't sleep and my stomach is getting sharp burny pains in it and I feel throughly out of sorts. Anyone about to try and put things into perspective for me?

  2. #2
    Join Date
    Aug 2013
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    Re: Filled with fear I'm dying.

    Sarah,

    You've had this fear for 4 years. I find this so incredibly sad :(

    You're still alive and quite physically well. This is obviously a mental issue. What are you doing to treat it? I often say I have real physical issues that can put me six feet under. What you're suffering with is doing that to you above ground. What are you doing to treat it?

    Positive thoughts
    __________________
    "Eat. Drink. Enjoy the work you do. Be thankful for the blessings God gives you in this life. Live, love and seek out the things that bring your heart joy. The rest is meaningless... Like chasing the wind." King Solomon

    The best help is the help you give yourself! http://cbt4panic.org/

  3. #3
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    Re: Filled with fear I'm dying.

    Hey fishmanpa, Mr reliable you should be called ! I have actually had the fear for 9 years but discovered this site 4yrs ago but grim really when you think iv spent nearly all my 20s being afraid of shadows... what am I doing to treat it well currently nothing if I'm honest.. doctor has prescribed me sertraline (I believe it is known as Zoloft in America) but I have been eyeballing the packet for weeks now... I know it sounds stupid and I know how will I get well if I don't help myself but I'm petrified to take them as last time I tried to start them up again I felt terrible off them only took 2 however iv took them before an bar the first few days where I felt like I had took mdma I felt fine... I just stupidly google myself into a frenzy and then read all the potential cardiac side effects and blah blah blah then terrify myself. I have a problem with google, people say I have a habit but I know it's more then that it's a compulsion it's so strong. Doctor a while back said I showed OCD traits intrusive thoughts ect ect still I'm finding things hard to cope with atm. I have a fairly stressful life these days and I do not handle stress or pressure well at all I tend to fall apart under duress �� Literally I start getting really unwell physically pains ect ect then that starts of the mental landslide. Over the years I have really tried to fight it I have I have took the tablets I did the cbt tried to face my fears and go an do stuff out of my comfort zone like travelling (which I'm glad i have done iv seen some cool places) still it's always creeps back. The fear never really leaves you know. It's always there in the back of my mind ready to come darting to the forefront.. it's fear that causes pains in my stomach and a tense feeling throughout my body and and I just feel like tears are always near the surface and my anger is so quick to explode I have zero tolerance for anything I don't like and it makes me irritating to others I'm willing to bet...I just dont know what to do anymore xx

  4. #4
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    Re: Filled with fear I'm dying.

    Quote Originally Posted by Sarah1989 View Post
    I just dont know what to do anymore xx
    I take it the 1989 is your birth year. That makes you my son's age. As a parent of a daughter who suffers from anxiety and depression, I've had to juggle being a parent, therapist and friend. I'll tell you what I told my daughter when she came to me with her issues... "Get help!" Fortunately, I, along with her mother made sure she did. She takes meds and goes to therapy. She had a few rough times, took some time to heal and moved on, graduating college in December and just landing her first job in the field she loves (teaching pre-school and kindergarten). She still has her moments but she also has the tools to deal with them.

    These are just words on a screen but if they can motivate you to take the steps toward healing, it's worth typing them. Ultimately, this is up to you TAKE THE MEDS! Deal with the start up side effects and allow them to start working. As they do, it will enable you to do more. Meds aren't the end all to end all. They're a crutch until you're strong enough to walk on your own. And if you need that crutch for a while? So what?

    You say you don't now what to do anymore. Obviously, what you're currently doing isn't working so you have to try something else. It's been placed in front of you. The choice is yours to make. Make the obvious choice!

    Positive thoughts
    __________________
    "Eat. Drink. Enjoy the work you do. Be thankful for the blessings God gives you in this life. Live, love and seek out the things that bring your heart joy. The rest is meaningless... Like chasing the wind." King Solomon

    The best help is the help you give yourself! http://cbt4panic.org/

  5. #5
    Join Date
    May 2013
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    431

    Re: Filled with fear I'm dying.

    Hey fishmanpa so sorry for such a late reply my internet in house has been down �� I am going to get help I had to move doctors today as I had just joined a new surgery due to moving and it's terrible as in not made up in my head terrible like real terrible lol patients leaving in droves ect so I signed up for a new doctors today have to have general health check with nurse on Thursday before I get appointment to see doctor but I am going to try therapy again and try taking the anti depressants... fingers crossed I suppose... thanks for the support as always xx

  6. #6

    Re: Filled with fear I'm dying.

    I love the response Fishman gave.

    If you feel like you need to do something else to change your health and get you better, you should really consider it. Take the meds. Don't be scared to do it.

    And I see you said you're headed to therapy again soon? Im wishing you the best of luck with that. Maybe things will start looking up once those antidepressants kick in. Theres a ton of different things that your body ma do or react to because of the meds, but the thing is to stay calm and remember that they're going to make you stronger. Hope the therapy goes well and you get stronger.
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  7. #7
    Join Date
    Sep 2012
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    Re: Filled with fear I'm dying.

    Hi Sarah! I can't add much except you are NOT alone. My fear of death is why my anxiety manifests as Health Anxiety most of the time. I've been struggling with this since 2008 and it's exhausting.

    Meds definitely help. They won't make you 100% better but they will make it much easier!
    __________________
    ‘But in the end it’s only a passing thing, this shadow; even darkness must pass.’ – Samwise Gamgee

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