i am finding it increasingly difficult to cope with all this anxiety and slight agraphobia,,
as you are all probably aware mum has just come out of the hospital for a knee replacement,,
she is ok and no real problems with her knee although tonite i went round to look after her for the evening and she was having some bowel discomfort ,,so i called the dr for her and they said she would have to go and see the dr ,,big big problem for me the doctors place is only around 2-1/2 miles from my home but ahhhhhhh i said i CANT take you and she said i would have to,,,
well i made all the excuses they was available ,,,like well they shouldnt expect you to go all that way when you have just had a knee op and you cant walk and ? and? i guess you all know the excuses,,,
but you see there sould be no excuse for your mum surely?????????????????

so anyways i did the best i could to get out of going and called the pharmasist for some advice knowing i could get there,,he was great and said come in and i will give you something for your mum,,so i did and everythings fine,,,


but the bottom line is i SHOULD have been able to go to the doctors with her ,,i mean she has looked after me all her life and been there for me ,,,WHY CANT I DO THE SAME FOR HER???????????????

i cant beleive how scared i was just at the thought of haveing to go ,,,


sorry for waffleing on really needed to get this off my chest as i feel such a failure at the minute for letting the panic beat me once again!!!!will it ever end????

thanks guys ,

xxxdarrenxxx


WHY DO WE LET THIS ANXIETY RULE OUR LIVES THATS WHAT I DONT UNDERSTAND???????? [:X] ""HAPPINESS IS ALWAYS THERE UNDERNEATH THE ANGER AND DESPAIR""