Two days then back to square one

[Roue25]

Hello Forum!

I am reaching out to people here as I am running out of patience with my anxiety. I no longer know what to do. It has been 13 long, long years of dealing with it.

Essentially, the moment my eyes open the "chatter" starts. My mind begins racing and throughout the day it continues to get worse and worse - I can barely breathe and my vision goes blurred. It carries on until I come home and then fall asleep through sheer exhaustion, then I am fine until I wake up again the following morning. Then it continues.

I have tried medication, counselling, acupuncture and even food elimination. On the food elimination I gave up milk and yeast and was better for about two days then the anxiety returned again. I have tried going diary free again now but 10 days on and I am no better.

Does anyone have this? it is not like worry but just raging mental noise that exhausts me with shallow breathing and heart racing (oh I guess that's anxiety!).

Without that nap at night, I would be a zombie. It's like it resets my brain. Anyone similar? Or can help?

[ana]

It has been a long 17 years of suffering for me, so I can relate to the feelings you're having, especially the being fed up part!

Instead of chatter, I experience depersonalisation, but I do believe that it's essentially the same thing because I think about dp and then it's the thinking that brings it on. If you didn't ever think about anxiety, I think you wouldn't be anxious.

I've also tried therapy, medication and alternative methods, but nothing has worked so far. I just carry on, live my life, focus on something good daily, work, give my mind something to do. Other than that, I have no useful advice. :( but I thought I'd let you know you're not alone.

[Roue25]

Thank you for your reply however it does make for some depressing reading.

I thought someone would have some lightning bolt to save me but I guess I have to either accept it or think of other options. I will never rule out suicide because my life has no point. I battle my anxiety and the voices in my mind and that's it. Single with no partner so I don't have anyone to stay for.

[ana]

You should rule out suicide, and you should rule it out for good.
You're someone's son, grandson, maybe brother or uncle or cousin, someone's friend. Giving up is never an option because you were given this life for a reason. If you weren't meant to live it, you'd have died at some point by now, it's my personal belief.

Please contact someone or ring a hotline, give yourself the chance to be victorious over the anxious chatter in your head; see yourself live a happier, more fulfilled life.

[Maca44]

Roue25, I have come to the same conclusion as you many times but I am so glad I didn't act on it as there have been many days/months where I enjoy being alive and often think back to how I felt and I know that ending my life is not an option because things do change and get better. At the time of really bad anxiety its hard to see anything but black but it always gets lighter even if just a little and these are the times for me that I know I'm glad i'm still here.