OCD fear about being pregnant

[foureyedfool]

This is about the fourth time in my life that I've been terrified of being pregnant. I've never had sex, to my recollection, but I have struggled with alcoholism, to the point that I drink so much that I pass out. I've been sober for about a month and a half, but before that I would drink VERY heavily one day a week, and all of this started a few days ago when I had a bad stomachache, and all of a sudden I started thinking 'Am I pregnant?'

I know the thought only came to me because I really, really don't want to be pregnant/have kids, and it's not the first time in my life that it's happened, but now I'm worried that while I was black-out drunk I got in my car, drove to some place and met a random guy, lost my virginity to him, and then drove myself home and got back into bed and don't remember any of it.

Ugh, to anyone else it sounds CRAZY, but for me it's such a real and terrifying fear.

[beatroon]

Hi foureyefool,

First of all, congrats on your month of sobriety. What a great achievement. I think it shows real strength of character, which also means that you will come out on top of your current fear! I can really sympathise with the doubts which seem 'crazy' to the outside but which are driving you to distraction, I think that's something lots of people on these boards struggle with.

It does sound to me as though you are experiencing an obsessive theme which is frightening you, even though you also know it's highly illogical - and perhaps it's all the more scary because it's ego-dystonic, i.e. something that goes against your feelings and values about your life. You don't mention whether or not you are currently seeking help, but I'm wondering about seeking some support from your doctor or a therapist, if not? That would seem to be a great place to start, if you're not already. Lots of people suffer in silence with such challenges, but there is really good help available for this kind of thinking problem (Cognitive Behavioural Therapy, Exposure Therapy etc) so lots to be hopeful about. Why let a few wonky thoughts ruin your life?

Best wishes and good luck!

[foureyedfool]

Thanks a lot! I am currently taking medication for OCD/anxiety/depression, but I think I might need a tune-up. Fortunately I have an appointment with my doctor next week.

[snowghost57]

Congrats on the sobriety. Pregnancy isn't going to make your stomach hurt. Are you getting support during your sobriety such as AA or a therapist? Alcohol is a depressant and you are now sober. I don't know how long you have been drinking. All of this will effect your cognitive thinking process. See your doctor and follow their advice.