Had my first panick attack, now suffering from health anxiety.

[Hahneclipse73]

So I was always someone who suffered from I guess severe anxiety (giving presentations, talking to strangers, needles, etc.). But I never saw it as anything serious and just thought I was extremely shy and nervous of certain uncomfortable situations. I never saw it as anything bad just lived with it and knew I had to work on getting better. But as of recent it got pretty bad. Right before Christmas we had one of our cats die suddenly at only a year and a half. I was out in the garage when I heard all sorts of screaming from my mom and sister from inside..my dad ran out and told me what was happening. I went in, we tried cpr and everything but he was gone, died suddenly of a heart attack. Then about a month or so later my dad had an episode with some pills he was taking. He took them one day and not the next. So I went out and came home with no response at any of the doors. Finally I realized the basement was open and figured he was at a neighbors. After I went inside I relaxed for a little when I heard gagging from upstairs. I went up and found him laying flat on the bed shaking and throwing up not able to move insisting not to call 911 he was fine. It was extremely frightening especially being alone, I called my mom at work, she came home and after a little he started to get better. We found out later he was prescribed some pill that he took once then just stopped taking it and the side effects are severe. Ever since then I have been on edge and tense constantly. A cat gasps I think its dying, they are sleeping I think they could have died. I hear coughing in the night I get nervous, I am in the bathroom showering I am expecting to hear screaming, if someone is not near me in another room I'm afraid something could have happened. It is awful and I feel like I cant relax. Then on top of that I've had regular stress which I never really had an issue with. We are always arguing with my dad (he's like the young person and I'm the dad, maniac, high energy, always doing something wrong) then on top of that he drinks and acts like a total weirdo everynight. Thats his way of dealing with anxiety and adhd. Plus I own a landscape company and have been idle for most of the winter, have been spending a lot of money (I am very frugal and get nervous spending) parts, equiptment, bills, a 15k 69 camaro, etc. Anyway, about two weeks ago I was out polishing the car and all of a sudden I felt like I was having a heart attack. My heart felt like someone was squeezing it and was barely beating and I was gasping to breath. I got extremely nervous and thought I was dying, felt fushed, heart started to race, dizzy, out of touch. So I ran inside and laying in a chair. It kept going for maybe 20 mins with the same symptoms except it felt every few my heart was skipping. I tried deep breaths but that just made me more dizzy and every few minutes a wave of heat would wash over me. After a few hours the severe symptoms stopped but I was extremely shaky, felt really tight, hot, etc. So this was Saturday, Sunday was the same but without the heart things. Later in the night I started freaking out, which is unlike me. Pacing around, extremely nervous, begging my mom to call someone and make sure I didnt have anything serious. Apparently a new virus is going around so I figured it was that. So the next day I went to the doctors (then agian the next week just cause I wanted to report all new symptoms). Did an ekg and said it looked good just a fast rate. The doctor came in and checked me all out and says there is nothing wrong with you..you suffered a panick attack and now you have extreme anxiety, but to go to the cardiologist just for my own reassurance. He said being I am 22, fit, and constantly doing physical work its nearly impossible for it to be heart realated. Plus i just had a blood test. I couldnt believe it and always thought a panic attack was just a simple thing. So friday I saw the cardiologist and he said the same thing, ekg.. fast rate...nervous but everything seemed fine. He wants me to get a echocardiogram since this is my secound visit and thats routine (heart pelps/ pains, dizzy, loss of energy, in 2014, I have an extremely fast metabolism and was not eating or drinking enough. But after that I felt much better till Friday when there was another big fight in the house and I got worse again. Since then ive had on and off nervousness about my heart, dying, etc.. chest tightness..sometimes entire chest, sometimes just the left, sharp pains, shakes, loss of appetite, slight stomach pain, heartburn, nazel drip/ a slight raspy feeling in my chest occasionally, sometimes fatigue, constantly checking google and fourms, etc. But I have never, nor have felt like passing out, I have been hiking constantly and dont feel tired or short of breath...just defeated and miserable on and off. If I try really hard to relax the symptoms all seem to dissapait, but I always find myself slipping back to thinking negatively. This has been going on for about 2.5 weeks now. It's letting up a good bit now and I don't feel awful constantly unless I think about it then it trys to start up again. I just feel so concerned being its about my heart that worries me, I know its just anxiety but its so hard to convince myself its all in my head. I just figured I'd share my experiance and see if anyone has dealt with something similar. It really is awful, I just wish I could shake it off like I always did with everything else. Sorry about the length, I just like to be very detailed!!

[Jackrabbit]

Hey I'm in a pretty similar boat as you are in. Ive always had I suppose a form of anxiety but no more than your average person. I would get nervous about speaking to a crowd or other social interactions but it never stopped me from doing it or gave me a panic attack, I would just get nervous but move through it. I believe that is fairly normal. It sounds like you may be suffering from a form of PTSD given what happened with your dad and all. My grandmother had the same thing when she was taking care of her sick mother. Everything you described she went through and it was indeed anxiety and panic. Now for me, mine only started this past October. I had gone through an extremely stressful 2 years and a panic attack hit me when I least expected it. I had been on the highway driving home from a nearby city with my friends when all of a sudden this feeling of sheer dread came over me. I was lightheaded, couldn't breath, my brain just felt like it was trying to explode; my first thought was "omg Im having a stroke" and as soon as that thought hit I went into full blown, out of this world panic mode. Was rushed to the ER where I was evaluated and given Ativan to stop the attack. Now fast forward 2 days and I start to feel that "feeling" again. Like something inside just isn't right. This one developed a bit slower but nontheless turned into a panic attack that was somehow WORST than the last one. I'll tell you, its the scariest feeling ever because in those moments you really think that you're body is just going to shut down and bam, thats the end of you. I was totally "normal" feeling I suppose you could say before that first one but since its just been an....adventure, I guess you could say. Those panic attacks gave me health anxiety and I was constantly fearing a disease in my brain: Tumors, meningitis, ALS, whatever the hell else. In January I actually started to feel a lot better, but it was after a few really rough months. I got really depressed from the anxiety and had trouble doing everyday things as I was always anxious and feeling like I were going to faint.

I know this all sounds so horrible and it was but there is a light. In January I started feeling a lot better. I got better sleep and put time aside for myself. Im not fully healed but one important thing to remember is that most of what you are feeling if not all of it is due to anxiety. For me, once I gave the anxiety that realization and attention, I started to cope better with it. Meditation and therapy do work, as well as exercise. Eating healthy has helped me a lot also. My therapist described to me perfectly why anxiety and depression present themselves at the times that they do. I was always confused because this anxiety hit me when I was actually in an OK place. I had just gotten over some hurdles in my life and was finally feeling better about my stressful situation from the past. So I never understood why anxiety hit me when it did. nothing like that had ever happened so why now right? I think thats what fueled the health anxiety because I saw no reason as to why I had anxiety so it had to be something more sinister. Wrong. The build up of all the stress in the past was now releasing itself because it had no where else to go so even the smallest thing had tipped me over into having a panic attack. So for you, your anxiety was most likely caused by the stresses in your life.

Anxiety is very hard to just "shake off" and I promise you the healing will not happen overnight. It does take awhile and in the process you really need to give your body the TLC it deserves. Anxiety does 100% cause physical symptoms and they often mimic what we think we have. So if you feel like you have a heart condition the anxiety will quicken your pulse. If you think you have a brain tumor, you'll start to feel the weakness on one side or as if your speech is off. When in reality you're paying an asinine amount of attention to regular things that your body does which in turn make you feel like something is wrong.

[Hahneclipse73]

Thanks for taking the time to write such a detailed reply. Ptsd was actually what my mom figured it could be. Because like i said, Im constantly on edge and waiting for something to go wrong. It all got horrible after myndads incident, I could no longer relax and was...am constantly concerned with everyones wellbeing. Its amazing how your brain can effect your body the way it does. Same as you I was doing nothing stressful whatsoever when it just hit out of no where! The reason why my first one effected me so much I believe is because it started...out of nowhere..with my heart. It was like no warning at all, so I just assumed I was dying or going to need to go to the ER. Its very incouraging to hear that you are working your issues out and there is hope. It really is a terrible curse to have to live with this and now having it I feel so much more sympathy for anyone dealing with it as well. I went to a healer today and worked out some things with my fears and issues involving the family incidents. But I am going to be going for therapy, massages, achpuncture, etc.! Whatever will help. For me thats spot on, I overthink every lite thing that happens now nd constantly checming my heart...I actually gave myself a rash from feeling so much...

[Jackrabbit]

Yeah, you should realize that it is indeed anxiety. If you need that reassurance then do a full physical with your doctor: bloodowork, vitals check, etc and tell them about what you are feeling. They'll go over your options and if you tell them about your heart they'll probably give you another EKG test and if thats normal then you can let go of your heart worries, because if something were wrong they would know from that. It really does sound like anxiety, and anxiety IS a physical condition. It absolutely does affect your heart, lungs, brain, muscles, etc. If you need any help or just someone to talk to about it you can PM me.

[Hahneclipse73]

That's the hardest part about it, its so concerning to think your brain can affect you this much. But everytime I tell myself that it seems to get a little better. Today I have been thinking I have early signs of s heart attack... tightness on my left chest, a little neck and arm pain (which I believe is from sleeping weird) jaws hurt..probably from clenching, and shakes. Its awful, I thought I was doing better untill yesterday I had the skipped beat again and panic attack. You think its over then all of a sudden you get new different smptoms that freak you out. Thanks for the offer, its just nice having people to talk to and realte with.

[Jackrabbit]

Yeah its crazy because its like your brain adapts itself to your worse health fears and simulates those symptoms. I have new crap all the time just when Im adjusting to an old symptom. Neck pain this week, weird weightless feeling the next, headache the next, breathing problems the next and so on. But I do realize that its anxiety and the symptoms don't hit me as often as they used to (knock on wood).

[Hahneclipse73]

That's what the soctor told me today...third visit in the last 3 weeks. I was explaining all my new concerns to him amd he kept shaking his head saying all anxiety. He said if you think it you body will start to mimmick it. Once you start to accept the old symptoms your body finds new ones it knows will set you off. Him and the nurse even forcefully told me to stay offline and stop reading about it! Lol. Same with me, it seems to always be something new that doesnt even realate to what my concern was before. I have a burning on my chest today, I have two bumps from pimples coming in that hurt I soon discovered Thats great you are starting to get over it..its always a long suffering but it just makes it all the better feeling when it finally loosens up and you are back to "almost " normal.

[Jackrabbit]

Yeah, not back to normal but coping I guess. Anxiety sucks. It purposely attacks your body, its like an embodiment of that idea of when you finally get happy theres that one "thing" that comes around and is like " Oh no you're not!" Ugh. It sucks to know that your mind is trying to work against you.

[monkeymom3]

So here's the positive thing (and I'm so sorry for your loss, I know that was hard.)
Your brain is SOOOOOOO cool and powerful! With just mere thoughts you can create a very real sensation in your body! So now that you've found the negative side of your new amazing mind power, try to find things for your mind to work on. Give it jobs, puzzles to solve, or just go outside for a nice walk.

Another thing to consider is that given your feeling/ need to be in charge/ to be your parent's parent, maybe you're feeling a little like it's your job to know all the things, notice all the symptoms, be in charge of it all. The actual reality is that we're all just kind of winging it. Even those of us that look like we have out stuff together. I'd say it might be time for some light talking to a therapist, maybe just to get you out of your own headspace. The fact that you're here means you know there's work ahead. You can do it.