Hi all , partner suffering from Anxiety

[lgm55]

Hi all , really need to offload and learn where the hell we go , we are in a relationship for 6 years have two very good kids at school over achieving but sometimes testing at home . I m the stepdad and not the biological father but doing a good job in my view.

My partner M has been to the docs and has tightening chest pains , often thinks she is having a heart attack but then calms down and generally now doesn't like people , she not go for any medication or counselling for us as she states she has skills having a degree in Councillor and physcology.

This leads to be a disadvantage and she is fiery i'm the calm one but i dont say anything and she is blowing up on me , i have been told im the best in the world on a practical level couldnt do anymore in the house and the kids , but i dont love her as we are not intimate her words not mine and y actions speak for themselves and nothing will ever change.

just tonight we have had another bust up over our kids football presentation and i offered my services as a coach now wish i hadnt as i knew it would end up here. she has now told me she wont go after i have spent the last hour painting her nails.

im stuck feel crap and totally lost as i say we need to see someone she doesnt we are fighting point scoring right now im struggling to even feel the desire to be loving in that way.

so shes just told me she is done and headed on her phone gone to bed and said i can stay down here and we can have some time to have a break and good sleep , im ehausted and suffer with cluster headaches and they are back this week and snore which she could kill me sometimes.

please help feel free to ask any questions so i can outline anymore and will write no sides as i need simple help
Thanks
LGM

[venusbluejeans]

Hiya lgm55 and welcome to NMP

Why not take a look at our articles on our home page, they contain a wealth of information and are a great starting place for your time on the forum.

I hope you find the as site helpful and informative as I have and that you get the help and support you need here and hope that you meet a few friends along the way

[Rick(amateur)]

Hi and welcome to the forum!

That's the thing about anxiety where it affects more than just the person directly affected. Those around the people aren't spared either. Learning to cope is never easy but you sound like a person who is willing to take it head on.

First, your partner having a degree doesn't help her. She is still human and, from my experience, people are very hesitant to admit they have a problem, particularly that they are crazy in any capacity. I think you got to convince her to look into the issue with a professional. You aren't going to head anymore if she doesn't believe she has a problem. Of course, the post makes it sound like both of you have anxiety at this point.

Maybe the better approach at the moment is for you to tackle your anxiety from dealing with your partner. Feeling exhausted and having headaches aren't normally good signs of your own health. Getting your own mindset to a better stage would see you able to communicate better. I know from my own experience is that, when I'm in a bad mood, I tend to yell and become emotional but I don't actually notice it at the time.

My opinion is for you to get yourself to a better mindset before you tackle hers. It won't be easy and likely an uphill battle but I'm sure you'll find a way to help your family by fixing the issues in life. No relationships go through life without bumps in the road and this is just one of yours. I wish you the best of luck!