advice needed, feeling scared.

[Kerry]

hello again-i've not posted for a couple of weeks-really feel the need for reassurance and just to talk today.
i thought i was doing ok-had a 'good' couple of weeks but i feel like i've been caught out all of a sudden. i had a bad panic attack on saturday evening which lasted for a while, but i still feel bad now, don't know whether this is normal? i would like to know whether others have this-that these feelings seem to go on for days before lifting. i feel really anxious and nauseous and i'm struggling to eat and drink. i feel like i've failed because i've taken some diazepam, even though my gp has said that it's an 'emergency' thing for times like these.
i feel bad when i wake and try to be positive, tell myself it will pass. i went to work yesterday on the basis that i needed to even if i struggled, to try and occupy myself. i'm just scared i'm going backwards again.
i seem to be struggling to think-mind seems very 'muddy' and i feel stuck.
sorry for rambling.

[jackie]

kerry have you ever read claire weekes books on how to recover without fear. and that means not fearing setbacks too.

not easy i know but the only way ive been told many times

jackie

[ashley]

Hiya kerry darling, i am sorry that you are feeling so horrid.. its not nice is it.
That is the effects that we have after PA it leaves us in fear this is then called anxiety.. try and break the chain of thought as i guess you are worried of the next PA.. we have all been there and understand your fears, nothink is going to happen to you love i can promise you that.

Try and do something to take your mind of things, i remember doing this and feeling so bad but i would carry on , it does help in the end.

Dont be sorry for rambling love, your not and if you was thats fine anyway , we have all been in the same poistion on here , we know your pain and the way you are feeling right now, so no sorrys are aloud here im afraid sweety.

ashleyx

ashley

[existential crisis]

Kerry - I know exactly what you mean. It seems to work like that with me too. I don't know whether it is like this for you but usually it's because if you suffer a little blip (like your PA on Sat) you sort of hold on to it and don't let it go - hence feeling like **** for days after. It's totally normal I reckon, it just knocked you about and taken it's toll on you. You aren't going backwards, you just suffered a setback. Don't feel like you have failed just because you took the diazepam - you felt like you needed it. That's what the drugs are there for - to help through the really tough times. It really is OK to have a few bad days, you know. Just accept them as that and try to move forward the best you can. As for the muddy mind - welcome to my world!

*I think, therefore I am.*

[Juliamidlands]

honey we do not mind rambling in fact it is compulsory on here :-) We all relate to how you are feeling, you are not alone xxx

'To the world, you may be one person, but to one person, you may be the world'.

[ollie35]

Hi Kerry,

I myself went on to recover after many years of suffering. Getting through setbacks was very important to my recovery. I could always accept the good days but not the bad ones. This I had to learn to do, do not let these bad days throw you back into despair, try not to let these moments start you on the worry cycle again. Habit and memory bring days we feel we have gone backwards.
As Jackie says setbacks are part of us and as long as we don't let them throw us back into despair then we can move on from them.
Take care
Paul

[Kerry]

thankyou for your replies-it's good to be able to reach out and know others can get through things and i'm not the only one feeling like this.

i do have claire weekes book. i found it hard going to read because when she spoke about accepting the panic and so on and kind of letting it wash over you i struggled with that as my instinct is to fight and get rid of it as soon as i can. i feel like sometimes others find it so difficult that i dare not show my feelings or admit it. i did like the bits about stmptoms being due to excess adrenalin and electical impulses- i can try and tell myself that's what it is and it will pass.

it's just sometimes i can't see out when i'm stuck in the middle and i feel like everyone expects me to 'pull myself together'.

[lizmarshall]

Hi Kerry,

I havnt had a PA for 5 weeks but the fear is still there, i have my on and off days where i feel anxiousand have to take my stelazine tabs just to help. I've only been having PA's since x-mas so i am still learning about the affects. Keep your chin up and just go with the flow, as everyone has said it isnt easy but please try.

Liz