Daydreaming again.....

[Megan99]

I really do want to get over my excessive daydreaming. But, I have one huge worry. If I stop daydreaming, then what do I think about?? Daydreaming/escapism takes up so much of my time that i can't figure out what to do if I am not doing it? I feel like I will lose a part of myself or become empty inside. And also, I have identified that my biggest daydreaming trigger is music. But I love music. I don't know if I should avoid music all together or listen to it and force myself to not dream? Any advice?

[Clydesdale Epona]

I often find that my maladaptive daydreaming disorder gets better when I'm busy, I listen to music while writing something, coloring in, playing a game ect. that way I'm too stimulated to daydream x

All the best

[Deckard]

Hey Megan99,

I am not sure if my daydreaming is excessive or not, but I do spend a large amount of time in my dreamworld. Music is also a big trigger for me. I have never thought about forcing myself not to do it, since I find it so comforting.

My question is: does it interfere with your daily activities / responsibilities (work, family, friends)? If not, do you see any other harm coming from daydreaming? If you just want to stop doing it, I wouldn't take music completely out of your life at the same time. It may indeed leave a void and make it even harder for you.

I know, this more questions than advice, but well, maybe we can get a conversation going which could lead to something more constructive.

--deckard

[Megan99]

Thank you for the replies. Yes, my daydreaming interferes with my daily life. I am beginning to love daydreaming more than real life. That is why I am freaking out and I want to get over it. I am falling into a slow sadness because I know the daydreams can never come to pass and I will always be this awkward, socially impaired woman who wont ever be the cool version of my self I am in the fantasy world I live in. And so daydreaming is turning into a great addiction for me and I have been doing it for 7 years now and I don't know how to reverse it.

[KeeKee]

I believe I daydream excessively too. I've read about that maladaptive daydreaming disorder another poster has mentioned and often wonder if I have that.

Could you mention it to your GP to see if there is any help for it as it is affecting your life?

[Dave1]

Hi Megan,

Not sure if this makes sense, but... I have similar problems to you and what seems to be working for me is learning to accept myself just the way I am. I accept I am a shy, single man with little self confidence. Strangely, what is happening is that the more I can accept I have low confidence, the more confident I become meeting people. I suppose it's because I'm not feeling ashamed of myself so I care less what other people are thinking. Paradoxically, in order to change, instead of saying 'I'm hopeless, I need to change so much about me' I'm saying 'I'm OK the way I am really' and that's when change can happen! Because it's all about raising self-esteem. I heard a woman on the radio recommending the same technique for slimming. She said people who are ashamed of their fatness binge eat to comfort themselves whilst people who feel OK about being fat, can lose weight because they feel good about themselves and want to look after themselves.

So I think the first step is to totally accept you are a day-dreamy, shy, introverted girl. Actually it sounds quite good written down! - the sort of girl some guys would love to meet and care for. Accept it's alright to be how you are, then you don't have to worry about meeting people.

[Mav]

I deffo day dream excessively, it's my escape from my anxiety which is odd.

[Dave1]

Yes, I daydream to escape anxiety and to escape frustration too.

[stay_gold]

Can I ask when the excessive daydreaming started?

If it's interfering with daily life then obviously that's a problem. I just worry that when something bad happens, how this could affect you. This is like over thinking to the max and it could make depression severely damaged or the daydreaming thing may get worse. I think you should attempt to do something about it. I see a major opportunity to be creative with your mind, you clearly have a good imagination. I hope I haven't made you feel bad with what I have said.

[Bee84]

I thought I was the one who had started this thread but then realized I only just became a member!

Been doing this since 15 and I'm 32 now. Initially I planned to stop it when I looked pretty enough to have friends and an ideal man.

I looked into MD and read that the characters and storylines aren't real and never will be. Even if there are real people there is still nothing and no one to get rid of. Its impossible. If you tried you'd only be killing a part of yourself. We can't lose our imagination we need it to create our lives.

Its been said that MDers are only chasing a particular feeling when they fantasize. Also I personally feel they create fantasies when they are unable to control people/their environment. Fantasy helps to escape from painful childhood abandonment, a drab and dreary world, deeply dissatisfying relationships and an utterly boring monontonus daily routine.

If we stopped we would be just fine thinking about our daily lives and what's going on in the present moment. The small things. We could appreciate the beauty of what is. Easier said than done but you're either in fantasy or not. Its just a case of flicking that switch.

I do believe there is healthy imagination linked with spirituality but it can only be expressed through an art form/creative expression etc.

MD turned me into a shut in, halted any true friendships or partners, odd survival on negative self talk and an intense but silent rage against mankind. An anger I feel I need to "tame" by repression.

I only exist abstractly but not physically. Its as if I don't even matter. Its like no one cares. I'm only real when someone's mean to me and I feel anxious or rejected. I don't know the true me as its hidden. MD is the devil itself I swear it. A legitimate addiction. I do wanna beat my fears and be recovered.

MD mostly helps me pretend I'm someone I'm not. A loser. I won't show up for me, so how can anyone else?