Repetitive Intrusive thoughts

[Topbhoy82]

Hi folks,

Im having a bad spell with excessive intrusive thoughts. It is mainly with my children & family circle. The thoughts are like images/thoughts of if I could kill my family or kids.. Im constantly re-assuring myself that im a good person & would never do anything to harm anyone. But im just going round in circles with it. Its like i have two side to my personality.. one bad & one good. Im beginning to doubt myself now as it wont stop. It obviously disturbs me & im trying to limit contact as it happenes every time & every day. Feel like im some sort of maniac & will lose control. Thing is, im as soft as putty and the thought of me harming anyone or anything scares me. I keep imagining what if i did, id end up in prison, what would my mum think & other people.. can anyone who has any experience share theyre exoerience or thoughts. I am on Setraline which have helped & visting my doctor. I also started a concelling programme but by go i cant shake this.

[Juustopallo]

OCD intrusive thoughts are always about your worst fears and they have nothing toto do with who you really are. Actually the opposite. By having such thoughts you can be certain that your family is very important and dear to you. Intrusive thoughts never lead to action. But reassurance won't help you get out of this mess. Let me give you some tips how you can kick some ocd butt.

OCD is all about patterns. Don't get caught up on analyzing and worrying about the superficial symptoms. The themes can change but the pattern and way to freedom always stays the same. You get an intrusive thought, image or urge and that gives birth to anxiety and uncertainty about the origins and meaning of the thought. What you do next is try to make that uncertainty go away. You engage in compulsive behavior by trying to make yourself certain about your obsession - in this case that you don't want to hurt your family. You may analyze your motives, try to suppress the thought, avoid spending time alone with your kids etc. All these reactive actions are called compulsions.

Obsessions and intrusive thoughts are fueled by compulsions. Without compulsions, there cannot be obsessions. I didn't make this up. This is science based fact. You might feel it's the other way around but it's actually the compulsive behaviors that fuel the obsessions. By identifying everything you do as a reaction to the uncertainty (cope, check, control, avoid...) and cutting those compulsions you can get over your OCD. When the thought arises, don't fight it, don't try to make it go away, don't argue with it, don't avoid the situation. Just let it arise and don't answer with a compulsion. Keep doing what you were doing. You can act according to your values even with feeling anxious and having scary things in your head at the same time! This will make you anxious as hell but that is a good sign. By doing this over and over, the anxiety will lower each time by little. Soon you'll realize that the thought that used to make you panicy, doesn't bother you at all and it will start to fade away. This is called exposure and response prevention therapy.

While doing this it is extremely important to keep on living in a healthy way. Do enjoyable and valuable things every single day. Extrovert your senses. The stupidest thing you could do is to stay in all day worrying about your condition. Analysis = paralysis. Normal living might feel hard but you can do it and you'll be surprised to see jow easy it gets when just go on living it. Spend time with your family!

Check out Mark Freeman on youtube!
You'll get over this! It's just about taking the steps and learning healthier ways to react to uncertainty!

[Bigboyuk]

Hi Topbhoy82 sorry to hear you are going through this. There is help out there mate take a look at www.topuk.org it's a site for all OCD and Phobia issues and have peer support groups through out the uk I have joined a local OCD group where I live recently HTH ATB

[Topbhoy82]

Guys, thanks for the replies. Looks like i need to get on the right path. Advice is appreciated. Paul