First setback for a long time

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This is all very current for me, so it's hard for me to say exactly what lessons I've learned from it right now. But I do recognise that I have had a health anxiety flare-up, and I intend to think about what I can take away from this situation as I move forward. After the initial shock, I did employ things I'd learned from CBT, and I think if you look through the thread, you'll see that, once I calmed down, I did get a better handle on things.

As for reassurance-seeking, I'm not sure what to say at this stage. I did find things on my skin that looked like they needed checking out, and the fact my GP saw one as requiring an urgent referral tells you it had to be done. Should I have gone through with the private consultation? I have been asking myself that. I don't know if it was right or not, but I do know I was just seeking answers to something that was going on. I've chased reassurance from doctors relentlessly in the past for all number of things. This was slightly different. I just wanted to speed the process of knowing what was going on. You could say that the private consultation helped me see the part anxiety was playing in everything.

At the end of the day - and I'm not saying this is the right approach - but I don't like to overthink things. I don't dwell on triggers too much or spend ages in my head trying to work out what caused my anxiety. I try to employ acceptance and various CBT techniques to help me manage the condition, and I will continue trying to take my life forward.

In other news, I got the results back from the clinic this morning. I got a three-page document detailing the nature of my skin, plus an assessment of the mole I was worried about, featuring a primary and differential diagnosis. I'm sure some know what that means, but for those who don't, it's essentially the doctor's diagnoses, along with a less likely but still possible diagnosis.

The doctor's primary diagnosis is "typical mole", with his differential diagnosis "moderately atypical mole". They want me to go back and get it imaged again in three months just to see if it has changed at all. If it hasn't, it will confirm the primary diagnosis.

So it looks like I have nothing to worry about.

[pulisa]

They are obviously covering their backs but it sounds as if there is nothing to be unduly alarmed about which gives you some breathing space and relief as you wait for your NHS appointment. Personally I think you went about this sensibly and rationally. True you went into meltdown after seeing the GP but then you calmed down and made some alternative practical arrangements to be seen at a dedicated mole clinic which wasn't just a high street dodgy outfit. Who knows how long you will have to wait for the NHS appointment? It's already a week since you saw the GP and you have made significant progress since then rather than sitting around waiting for an appointment letter.

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So, a couple of weeks later than planned, I saw a dermatologist at the hospital today. Of course, I already had reassurance from the private consultation, but this time an experienced dermatologist saw the lesion in the flesh, as it were.

The good news is, the lesion is, to quote the doctor, "entirely benign". Nothing to worry about.

I realise now that the GP who referred me probably suspected the same but couldn't say it, or at least felt she couldn't risk it. She probably thought to herself that this was another anxiety appointment, but she did tell me she has a low threshold for referrals.

In any case, I just felt that this lesion/freckle/mole (whatever you want to call it) didn't look right. My judgement was almost certainly clouded by anxiety, but it's a good idea to be vigilant when it comes to skin changes. I acted, and now I know it's nothing to worry about.

Thanks to everyone who offered me positive words and advice during the last few weeks.