Dreading a holiday this year :(

[fairylou]

It's a family holiday, but I feel so mind-numbingly depressed that I really don't think I can cope while away. I'm dreading it. I feel the expectation to be happy around family members is too much. Faking it everyday at home is bad enough, but knowing I'm going to have to try extra hard to have a 'good time', I'm already exhausted.

It doesn't help when I don't have the best relationship with my father and I spend most of my time avoiding him at home. I'm terrified of his moods and I feel so uncomfortable around him, so any hope of be being able to relax, is already impossible.

I orginally had plans to go away with my boyfriend, which I was looking forward to (he makes me feel comfortable and I don't have to hide my depression/anxiety/panic attacks) but it I had no option but to agree to go with family otherwise I would have upset my mother.

I don't know how to cope with this :(

[braindead]

dont any of your family no of your illness, if so tell them its to much for you to go on holiday, how old are you ?????? carnt you say you want to go with your boyfriend or can he go with you on the family holiday, holidays are stressful to a depressive

[fairylou]

Thank you for replying. I'm 24, and my mother knows. She doesn't understand though, and would be really upset if I decided not to go or mentioned I wanted to go with him instead this year. She doesn't like my boyfriend, so him coming wouldn't be an option.

[braindead]

Thank you for replying. I'm 24, and my mother knows. She doesn't understand though, and would be really upset if I decided not to go or mentioned I wanted to go with him instead this year. She doesn't like my boyfriend, so him coming wouldn't be an option.

There you go job solved, NOW STOP FRETTING