I don't know whether I should apply for ESA or not

[GingerFish]

Thanks Debs yeah I was 23 when I saw that doctor, so I wasn't too young but still a baby in his eyes apparently -_- its not just that doc that makes me feel bad for asking for a sick line, my stepdad even said I shouldn't get benefits for my severe OCD and panics, even though he knows I am in therapy and have been housebound and had an eating disorder because of it. He's about the same age as the doc and he keeps saying all OCD is is a quirk and something we all have a bit off which is absolute garbage so that dents my confidence a lot when asking for help, especially with money. He suffers from Parkinsons and strokes so he knows all about getting health benefits but he just thinks I am 'lazy' or 'making a mountain out of a mudhole' and all that jazz. Thankfully my mum and partner are clued up in my conditions and are supportive though.

[MyNameIsTerry]

Just sounds like a doctor who has more than one prejudice going on there, probably some maladjusted views of young people based on stereotyping. That's just means a bad doctor, they are supposed to not be influenced in such ways. Hopefully society is free of him now as he has retired.

Your stepdad is lucky he has been born into this century, they weren't so forgiving of those organic mental illnesses in previous centuries. Just a thought for him there. Go back a few more centuries and some priest might have been "exorcising" his demons

Yes, OCD traits are seen in many people but they are not OCD, OCD is only diagnosed based on it's impact. That's only like saying everyone experiences anxiety, which they do, but we all know how that normal range is a million miles away from a disorder.

[GingerFish]

Thought I would give you guys an update. I went to the docs yday and discussed going on ESA for my OCD and depression and all the doctor said was "I want to try you on medication first for a fortnight to see if that perks you up a bit first", knowing full well that I've always refused meds, especially due to my contamination fears and I can't even take a painkiller when I am in pain, let alone take an antidepressant! I'm back at square one. Honestly don't know what to do now. Might just go on JSA because I am starting to believe that I must be fine and maybe I am even a fraud despite being diagnosed and in therapy and all that jazz but its hard not to feel like that when you get fobbed off so many times by doctors. I might switch practice but tbh, I don't know any doctors in my area that specialise in MH or are at least empathetic about it.

[KeeKee]

I would try to go to another GP. I am very strong in my wish not to take medication nobody can steer me away from that. Do not let anybody force you into them, I took them for 6 years and regret it nearly everyday if I let myself think about it.
I'm not too sure about applying for JSA, my only concern would be if you tried to apply for ESA in the future, they might use that against you and say why did you apply for JSA if you weren't able to work (although this is just a thought it may not even come up).
I hope you can find a decent GP soon because I know all too well how financial struggles can make you feel even worse. I don't understand why he can't give you one, for a start antidepressants take more than 2 weeks to work (from my experience).
Maybe ring JSA and tell them your predicament, ask them if there's any help they can give you.

[GingerFish]

Yeah nothing is going to make me take meds, I am fine with other people taking them but due to contamination fears plus feeling suicidal on them in the past when I took them for a few weeks, I stay well clear of them now. My mum has made me an appointment at our local benefit help centre to talk things over. I don't even know what other doc in the practice I can go to or any other GP surgery in my town I could go to because tbh, I am losing confidence in doctors more and more every day.

[KeeKee]

It must be so stressful not even being able to seek support from a GP. I'm so lucky the GP I visit is just lovely.
Hopefully you can sort something out. I can imagine how you feel towards meds I've never had suicidal thoughts but gained a massive amount of weight (32 lbs approx I was really skinny beforehand so it was blatantly obvious) among other things and I'll never turn back.
Hopefully the benefits centre will help you then that's one less thing to worry about

[In A Rut]

Hi Ginger.
You are genuinely ill. You should find a doctor who recognises this, obtain a sick note to reflect this & apply for ESA.
If you apply for JSA you are declaring yourself 'fit for work' which from what I've read you clearly aren't.
The Citizens Advice Bureau were a great help to me as I wasn't in any fit state to cope with filling in the forms. They went through them with me & filled them in for me.
I have anxiety, depression, occasional panic attacks & I believe CFS/ME (never had any luck getting a diagnosis).
Good luck.