Another lumpy breasted one

[arc73]

Firstly I wanted to say hello, and thanks to the people who've advised other women on breast issues here, as reading the posts both calmed me down and prompted me to join.

I'm now back down to feeling less worried again, but am also feeling a bit isolated and want to get some stuff out before I take myself off for a long walk and some much needed fresh air.

I first found a lump in my left breast when I was 26 - the armpit side was very hard and a little tender at times. I had ultrasound and nothing showed up at all, despite there being a large palpable area, and they said it was just breast tissue. When I was 32 I found a lump just above my right nipple maybe 2cm in diameter, that my GP suspected was a cyst. Again I went for ultrasound and again nothing showed up. The consultant diagnosed 'lumpy boobs' and suggested evening primrose oil.

A little frustrating that not even a benign object was found as I then had no idea what I was looking for, and the consultant confirmed I felt full of lumps in both breasts.

September 2006 I became very unwell mentally after a horrible experience with a man I met online - hypomania, lost 7lb in a couple of weeks (I was only 8'5 to start with), and such bad anxiety I spent an evening in hospital being checked over for a suspected heart attack. The consultant did express slight concern over the hardness in the side of my left breast but I mentioned I'd been scanned years ago.

Several days later I started with a lot of pain in my left breast, armpit, inside of my upper arm, left shoulderblade and neck. My armpit looked swollen and I couldn't bring myself to examine my breast. My GP thought it was stress and muscle/nerve issues but didn't examine me - I said I was too anxious to be touched, and told me to come back in a few weeks if it hadn't improved. The pain reached a peak within a week, feeling for a few moments as if someone had stabbed me through my nipple, and then although I still ache on and off, it has never been as severe since.

It was several months before I could bear to go back, and by that time the pain seemed in cycle with my periods and easing right off the week after my period started. Again she didn't examine me but thought pulled muscle and fibrocystic breasts.

I still get the pain, if much less so some months, but I'm now completely divorced from my breasts :( I have worn a bra 24/7 for nearly 18 months and hardly touch my breasts at all. My partner has only 'experienced' them a few times in the year we've been together.

I quit smoking 6 months ago and started taking 1000mg starflower oil, hoping it might help, and I think that it has slightly, although I've had some rough detox symptoms and my lymphatic system has always been quite reactive.

I suspect for my peace of mind (if not my physical health) I need to first examine my breasts properly, and then ask my GP to refer me for an ultrasound, but I keep wimping out of it. If I could get U/S tomorrow I think I'd do it, but I'm not able to face what can be a 3-6 week process (I've been off work with mental health issues for years and now I'm trying to get a job and having interviews)

Sorry this is really long!

[Piglet]

I do get where you are coming from on all this because all I seem to feel when I do the monthly breast check is a mass of flippin lumps too and then you begin to wish you'd never started don't you.

When I was waiting for my results I too became 'divorced' from my boobs and just like you didn't seem to want to part with my bra and wondered if it would be too too weird to wear it in the bath aswell lol!!

It also makes me squirm to do the breast check - like fingers scaping down a blackboard. It just doesn't feel right to have to press and prod in this way against a moving boob - cos goodness knows they don't stay still while you do it!!!

I guess we just do have to find our own ways of coming to terms with this and so now I just give them the once over the first week of my period and that's that. Oh and yes I have had the stabbing pain in the boob that had the cysts and the consultant wasn't at all surprised by that so it must be common.

Us anxious lot do seem to home in on a health anxiety and get ourselves all worked up, we then get it sorted and move onto yet another health concern - what are we like!!!

Love Piglet

[arc73]

Hi Piglet

I did bath by candlelight for nearly a year and change my bra whilst looking at the ceiling! Although it's stressful it is actually pretty funny in a way. Sometimes...

I've always hated self examinations - they make me feel sweaty, dizzy and nauseous. Even taking my pulse in my neck is nasty when I'm really bad.

I think my fears are down to a combination of my uncle dying of testicular cancer when I was 4 and he was only 27 (he was too embarrassed to see his GP before it got too late) and reading way too many of those I Am John's Lung/Eye/Tumour/Flesh eating growth articles in my parents Reader's Digest as a child. I found a ganglion in my wrist when I was at school aged 7 and was so convinced it was cancer that I sobbed on and off all day.

I hope I beat this one day, as I've had plenty of therapy and betablockers, but it could get worse as I age and the chance of illness increases. Guess acceptance is key

[Mumto2]

I have a lump in my left breast, its about the size of a 50p if not a little bigger, it gets bigger and smaller through the month and is extremely painful, I found myself wearing a bra constantly but more because it helped ease the pain than anything, I went to the breast clinic last week and have been told it is just swollen breast tissue, I gave up smoking 5 months ago and started taking evening primrose oil in January, I get a lot of sharp pains in my left breast too as well as it swelling and being painful I get a lot of othr problems with that breast, I don't even know I have the right one.

[Janieb]

I hate examining my breasts as well, I called a company which names I cannot remember and they have programmes and you pay x amount a year and they offer x amount of scans and consultations and what not. The woman mentioned it's not point having it done till I am 32. So once I am 32 for a small fee a year I will sign up to something like that because I want peace of mind.

The good thing is if you catch anything early your chances of beating are better so it's better to arm yourself with knowledge.

It's better to annoy the docs at the end of the day it's your health.

[JennyW]

I've recently just undergone tests for yet another lump in my breast and again everything is fine (thankfully). I have very lumpy breasts - particuarly the right one and diagnosed with cysts and nodules. I have fibrocystic breasts and they get very painful too, sometimes though they hurt even when I'm not due

The consultant was very good and explained what to look for but has also recommened that I'm checked out now every 2 years - because I'm so lumpy. I've also started evening primrose oil but you need to start on quite high doses to get it into your system and it takes about 6 months for the effects to work.

I also hate checking myself. I get myself all worked up just before "in case" I might find something - daft isn't it?

Now I've just had a mammogram and U/S I'm going to familiarise myself with "my lumps" so that I know what's normal for me.

[arc73]

I had a very tentative poke a few days ago and couldn't feel any small lumps, or anything other than my normal moveable but hard outer left lumpiness.

I'm due on a week so of course I feel sore, and although only my left breast feels tender at the outer lower quarter, both nipples are painful. Therefore googling 'pain in one breast' probably wasn't the best of ideas was it?

I keep trying to remind myself the hard outer side of my left breast has been there for a decade. And that I've had intermittent stinging, burning, soreness which moves from the cleavage side of my left breast to just under the outside, my armpit and my upper arm for 18 months now.

Can I reassure myself that after all this time, if it was cancer I'd either be extremely ill or have noticed other changes in my health?

[Piglet]

Can I reassure myself that after all this time, if it was cancer I'd either be extremely ill or have noticed other changes in my health?

I think we can safely say yes to that hun lol!

Love Piglet

[darkangel]

Hi

Just wanted to add that Lloyds chemist do a breast testing kit, should be £14.99 but its down to £2.99!. It contains a DVD on how to examine and also a plastic glove thingy that contains a gel. There is alos a chart for you to check at the same time each month.

[arc73]

I'm going to try and check properly this weekend. It's difficult to time it as my cycle is quite short (23-26 days), my PMS starts at ovulation and doesn't properly die down until the end of my lengthy periods. I literally have about 4 days a month when I'm not some variety of menstrual :-S

On the bright side, over the last week I've been gradually upping the amount of time I spend looking and touching my breasts, as I'd got so phobic it was ridiculous. I got my partner to massage around my armpit and shoulderblade and we think most of the pain is muscular as I'm full of knots. I tried ibuprofen gel for a couple of days before it gave me a rash, and then some arnica gel which seems to have helped a bit.

Have made an appointment to see my GP next week. Will be very brave and attempt to ask for an ultrasound referral to check the lumps I last got looked at 4 years ago are still just dense tissue. Gives me a clean slate to start regular exams from again.