So endoscopy is inevitable, please help

[jessieblue]

Hello, I see a gastroenterologist on wednesday having tried to avoid doing so for 2 years! I know my symptoms mean I have to have endoscopy and with a fear of vomiting, I am petrified, but resigned that I now have to have it as I cannot go on like this. My anxiety is horrendous just waiting for the appt. I have acid reflux even though I am on omeprazole. I get burning, bloating, feeling like something is stuck just above my stomach. Pain under ribs on left side, sort of burning/stinging pain and look like i am 9 mnths pregnant a lot of the time. Nausea and burping etc etc.

I am so scared I have stomach cancer. I know being on ppis can be a risky long term thing and also if I had damage to my oesophagus maybe it has become cancerous. I am so sure they will find something sinister. I just wish I could see this as a way to getting better rather than to certain doom and a diagnosis that will change things forever.

Does anyone have similar symptoms? Anyone diagnosed with cancer? I dont know what to do to prepare myself and not sure I will make it to the test day before falling apart. I keep feeling like I will have to beg the doctors to do something to help with my state of mind as I dont know which way to turn.

[snowgoose]

Hi Jessie

if you scroll down on the forum main page you will find procedures section ......and endoscopy is one of them ..........it will help you hugely I think to read .

Stomach cancer is very rare .but I know that wont help me saying this .
have you asked for sedation for the procedure ?

dont fret jessie ............so many on here have had this done and been very relieved to know it was not as bad as they thought . and it has been the anxiety that has caused the symptoms .ibs etc .

others who have had it done will be along soon to reassure you ..just wanted to reply cos it is hellish being so scared ........hug

[jessieblue]

Thank you so much for replying. I have been reading some accounts on here and some are encouraging, others arent. It is just THE ONE test |I have always worried about having, the one, i thought I simply couldnt withstand. I cant believe its now got to be done! I am really trying to accept it has to be done and get through it. If I can then I will be proud, but so frightened I have something terrible. Just want to put my head in the sand.

I hate this fear and anxiety every day its so exhausting. Thank you again. x

[snowgoose]

Hi Jessie

have you asked for sedation ? let them know before hand and it will be done .

please dont terrorise yourself with imaginings . You will be ok honest ......have same with chest x rays ........and found on the day that the panic before was far worse than the actual day of procedure ..........kind of calm descended and told myself that within a certain amount of time it would all be over .
if your doc thought you had stomach cancer you would have been admitted immediately xxxxx

[jessieblue]

I will ask about sedation. I have not seen gastro yet, first appt weds. I know she will order endoscopy as doctor has already told me so. I tried to explain my fears to him, but all goes over their heads!! I dont see why I couldnt have barium x ray first, but apparently they prefer the endoscopy, so thats what we get! As long as doctors are happy eh?

I think i will have to have sedation as there is no way I will be able to tolerate the procedure fully aware. I have trouble at the dentist even with a drill or cleaner in my mouth let alone something shoved down my throat. The trouble is that because I have a phobia of vomiting, it is all very complicated. Alongside the usual heartstopping anxiety that we all suffer, I have the added fear of gagging, nausea or god forbid vomiting! Sincerely, I would rather die than be sick, silly i know, but it is a true and morbid phobia. You can see why THIS particular test is one that I find the most difficult to tolerate. If i could have GA, it would be ok, but I understand this is not possible.

Also, even taking the sedative causes a problem with my phobia, as one of the side effects is nausea and vomiting, so medication itself is a real problem for me. On the other hand if I dont get this test, I will never find out what is wrong and maybe get some help and therefore, will have to suffer nausea and burning and pain for evermore! Its a bit of a no win situation.

I do appreciate your comments and I am sure when its over I will feel better, it just seems a really big mountain to climb right now.
xxx

[snowgoose]

oh jessie

there are posts here by a lovely lady who had exactly the same horror and emotophobia that you are experiencing . so hope she sees this and reassures you.

docs dont listen much about anxiety
and you are not silly with phobic fears at all ........it is horrid .........and do understand .
put me in an airport and see how I react ............
anyway ..sedation today very rarely causes vomiting honestly ......things have moved on in that field . you will feel a bit floaty and nicely relaxed I promise you .


and next thing is it will be over ......and a huge mountain climbed and WON . XX

[snowgoose]

hello Jessie

you will be fine with sedation . and certainly no fits !!! who the hell told you that ?
think a few drinks and feeling mellow........that is the feeling ........and no danger whatsoever Jessie .

your doctor knows now your fears and will put in plan accordingly. I so understand this fear I really do ........you will have a lot of relief from the outcome to know what is making you feel so bad . and it will not be cancer .

also No WAY can they restrain you or force to undergo this procedure .
this is your choice and even under sedation if you say No .then it will not go ahead . this is law.

I will make sure I am around on pc the day of the endoscopy if you need to pm me for support . let me know day and time if you want to .

you will do it ..........

[snowgoose]

Hi

am about every day Jessie usually .....so not far away xx

Dahlia is the one who knows .......and take heart from her experience and advice

you will do it my love ........you will and be amazed at yourself

[Dahlia]

Well, it was Snowgoose's and Shoegal's wonderful support that got me through

[mirena]

Hi Jessie,

A year and a half ago I went through exactly the same situation you are experiencing now. I fell bloated most of the time and started having stomach pains - straight away, I started to think 'What if it's stomach cancer?!' and quickly convinced myself I did have stomach cancer. I went for my first endoscopy in December 2010 -a few weeks after my symptoms started- and the doctor found I had an inflammation in the lining of the stomach and prescribed omeprazol. They also took a small sample of the stomach tissue and although tests did not provide any alarming results, I would now worry that by worrying I was going to make myself develop stomach cancer...

Eventually I managed to relax and after 4 months I went for a second endoscopy and the doctors did not find any inflammation, everything looked perfect. Looking back I am 100% sure the inflammation was caused because of the stress I put myself through by thinking I had cancer.

The first endoscopy wasn't fun, I am not going to lie, but hey, I survived! Five minutes and it was all done. I did panic a bit during the procedure because I did not know what to expect, and I had the feeling I could not breathe and did not how long it was going to last, and well, it is a bit intrusive and makes you gag. The second time round I was a bit anxious because of the first experience, but it turn out to be just fine. I just kept on thinking, well, it is going to be over in 2 minutes, and it was! It really, really helped me to concentrate on my breathing. Really, don't worry; it really is not that bad as people think. In fact, if I had to have one done tomorrow, I would not even spend one minute of my time worrying about it.