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Thread: here comes the dark

  1. #1
    Join Date
    Oct 2006
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    , , United Kingdom.
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    here comes the dark

    the sunlight from a beautiful crisp day is fading and as the darkness washes in i travel back to a tiny age,before i was raped,and beg creation for the comfort of not knowing what i know.this truth is like having ones soul drowned slowly in black ink.tiny,tiny moments lead to tears,such as my babba dropping a toy and crying,their utterly beautiful
    innocence.i feel like i would give my life willingly to preserve this beauty
    so many tears...i wish i could just come out and blurt the truth about what was done to us,the consequences,the terrible fact i live with
    yes i have disclosed to the authorities,but part of me wants to scream it
    from the roof tops. so many tears.OH ***********
    " i have seen too much wipe away my eyes"
    a hurting ade
    still,evrything they got from me was raped,forced,taken
    everything i get from my beloved honeys is given freely and with devotion and love .feels wierd to say,but I WIN
    ade in tears xxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxx

  2. #2
    Join Date
    Aug 2006
    Location
    , , United Kingdom.
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    Hi Ade,

    Remember you are not alone, you have your wonderful family look to them in the darkness for they are your light

    hugs to you

    Lynnann

    I have sent you a PM as well hunni, please look after yourself


  3. #3
    Join Date
    Feb 2007
    Location
    , , United Kingdom.
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    i was abused as a child for several years and told no one,thought it was my fault.33years later i went to police and they were great.the case went to court as my abuser tripped himself up so much in his statements.he pleaded not guilty at first and only changed his plea at last mo. it is still not talked about but like u id lov to shout from the rooftops I WAS ABUSED,r u having any conselling, hav u someone u can confide in.i think your so brave in coming forward.i admire u.

    pjrobb

  4. #4
    Join Date
    Apr 2004
    Location
    , , United Kingdom.
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    Hi Ade

    Can only imagine how you feel and wish i could say or do more.

    My daughter was involved in an abuse case when she was 3 with a work colleague. It went to court and they got time but to this day she wont talk and she is now 11. I question every day if i should pry or just pray she was one of the lucky ones that was a later date target.

    Thinking about you.

    Big hugs.

    Love Sal xx


    Dont mess up the best things in your life, just because at present you are unsure who you are.


    "Life is a distance and to travel that distance you were given the strength and guidance to do so".



  5. #5
    Join Date
    Jan 2007
    Location
    , , United Kingdom.
    Posts
    6
    Ade - Be strong hun. Got 2 remember that we are the better ones, the stronger ones. Your family loves you very much. I know it's difficult to keep your spirits up, and smile whilst inside u are crying. If I had a time machine, I would take back those painful moments for you. As I haven't got one, all I can offer is my deepest sympathy and my support. Take care.

  6. #6
    Join Date
    Oct 2006
    Location
    , , United Kingdom.
    Posts
    235
    the wound is sharp and open
    leaves me alone and sleeping less every night
    as the days become heavier and weighted
    waiting in the cold light
    a noise a scream they tear my clothes
    as the figuirines tighten
    spiders inside them
    and dust on the lips of a vision of hell
    a hundred other words blind me with my childrens purity
    but i am like an old painted doll in the throes of death
    "think about tomorrow"
    please let me sleep as i slip down the window,a freshly killed fly
    "you mean nothing,you are nothing"

    i can lose myself in "chinese art " and "american girls"
    all the time lose me in the dark
    "BOY DO IT RIGHT"
    i run into the night
    i will lose the self tomorrow
    a crimson pain
    my heart explodes
    my memories spat out of the fire
    no one can listen

    too many secrets too many lies leave me writhing in hatred
    too many secrets
    "BOY MAKE IT GOOD TONIGHT"
    and the same image haunts me
    a sequence of despair of time
    i will never be clean again.


    adapted from words by r.smith the figurehead 1982




  7. #7
    Join Date
    Oct 2006
    Location
    , , United Kingdom.
    Posts
    235
    sorry for the defeated tone
    only so many nightmares
    a man can take x

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