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Thread: Discussing Some Topics

  1. #11

    Re: Discussing Some Topics

    -Success 7-

    Last entry, I was talking about how we will encounter critics along the way to our dreams and success. Sometimes, the critics can be those very close to us. My message was to keep going and not let them bother you.

    After experiencing some events in life and watching numerous motivational videos, I see a clear difference between those who find success and those who wander aimlessly in life. What separates them is perseverance. And if anyone of you have seen my website, you'll see the image of a mountain.

    I find the mountain to be a perfect analogy for life. Basically, we start at the very bottom and our dreams along with success are found at the highest peak of the mountain. Naturally, we wouldn't be able to reach the peak very easily. We need to condition our body and work regularly to reach newer heights. What makes this mountain more challenging is that, when we stop pushing, we start sliding back down until, given enough time, we'll be at the base again.

    To climb this mountain, we'll need to persevere. There might be harsh weather like storms that threaten to knock you back down. There will also be moments you get sick and feel like you cannot get up, let alone make progress. During these days, we need to learn how to continue pushing and moving forward. Most importantly, we got to learn to keep looking up.

    If we are too busy looking down, we can easily dwell on a past that we no longer have control over. When you look up, you will keep your focus on where you're headed. Of course, it might appear that you aren't making any progress since the peak looks no closer than before. Know that progress is being made but you need time to really notice it. It might not appear so but, as long as you continue pushing and never give up, you will eventually see the results of your hard work.

    Know that the challenges in life aren't going to be easy to overcome. We deal with critics, financial problems and health problems to name a few. These things can slow you down but, as long as you haven't given up, you will overcome them and move slowly towards your dream. Along the way, avoid making excuses like you don't have enough money or you're too old. With perseverance, you'll go much further than those who had given up on their dreams, some of whom gave up before they even began.

    Be optimistic and remember you have more control over your life than you think. Each challenge in life is a lesson that makes you wiser and stronger. When you reach your dreams and find success, you'll be standing at the peak looking down. Once you're there, you can tell others how you began at the base of the mountain and now stand above all others. That would make you feel fulfilled and happy as you made something of your life.

  2. #12

    Re: Discussing Some Topics

    -Success 8-

    While chasing our dreams, we tend to have a habit of making excuses. For example, I blamed my professors when my studies weren't going well. The thing about excuses is that it's so easy to make. I don't have enough time. I don't have enough money. If we don't want to do something, we can make excuses with ease.

    The problem with excuses is that we are trying to blame other people or other things. The cruel truth is that we are the reason why we aren't succeeding. Yet, we are busy blaming others. The time we used to blame others could be instead used to further our goals and get closer to our dreams. In addition, blaming others also see us dwelling on the past and unable to focus on the present and future.

    The other issues with blaming others is basically trying to justify that our problems are out of our control. We cannot control how another person respond or how the economy will work. Essentially, we are trying to say that these problems are caused by things out of our control and we basically cannot fix it. This is a dangerous mindset where we convince ourselves that we cannot change anything due to all these external factors.

    I've done that before when I couldn't find a job or internship. I blamed society for my problems so I had to accept what was given to me. After some thinking, I realized that this isn't the case. I played a role for my failures. I could've worked harder at school so my grades aren't suffering. With better grades, I could've found internship opportunities.

    Another common excuse is I don't have enough time. I used to use that excuse a lot. Looking back, I realized that I could change that. I use to watch a lot of YouTube videos that contribute nothing to my life other than serving as entertainment. If I ever think I need more time, I could cut down on watching videos and use the time for something more productive. Of course, I also procrastinate which means more time is wasted as a result. These time could have been used for my dream and who knows how far I'd get if I had dedicated more time into it.

    A lot of these excuses really makes no sense if you look at them. If you need to blame someone, blame yourself since this will put the responsibility on you. When you put the burden on you, you are in the mindset where you control your present and future as opposed being at the mercy of other people's decision. Sure, there are things we cannot control like our family and the environment we grow up in. Yet, we can change our situation by taking charge of where we are headed and how we want to see ourselves in 5, 10 or 20 years from now.

  3. #13

    Re: Discussing Some Topics

    -Success 9-

    We will encounter doubt on our journey to our dreams and success. Doubt is natural since we are moving out of our comfort zone. For example, you wouldn't have doubt if you have done something for over 20 years. You are comfortable with it and have plenty of confidence in yourself as you more or less mastered the task.

    When doubt arises, it's normal so don't treat it like it's deadly and would stop you from accomplishing your dreams. Just note that doubt is a sign of you stepping into the unknown. You are pushing your boundaries. This might be terrifying and doubt may cause you to wonder if you made the right decision or not.

    You must remember that if we stick with the status quo. A status quo where we aren't following our dreams, do what others tell us and essentially not living our lives. There will come a time we have regrets and wonder why we hadn't walked a different path. Therefore, let doubt be that sign of you moving towards your dreams and success.

    Dreams and success won't ever be easy and some parts of the journey will make you consider turning back. I must emphasize that getting started is one of the bigger challenges we face. I knew people who had dreams but they never really acted upon it. They have doubts from the very beginning and then basically talk themselves out of it thinking that they simply couldn't do it. For instance, we have talent shows around the world and, while many auditioned, there are probably more who considered this but decided against it in the end.

    I believe the best way to prevent doubt from stopping you from pursuing your goals and dreams is to simply take action. We normally have doubt when we have hesitation. For instance, my website hasn't been gaining much attention. Doubt starts forming but, instead of letting it take root, I just go and make a video so I have something else I can upload to it. Basically, I'm distracting myself from the doubt by taking actions that move me closer to my dreams. As a result, there won't be time for doubt to really develop within me.

    As I continue doing what's needed to make my dream a reality, doubt will steadily become irrelevant. After all, I'll be doing it for many months or many years so it becomes the new norm. Just keep moving forward and doubt is basically a sign that you are heading in the right direction. The day these doubts vanish for good is the day you reached your goals and know, with confidence, that you can do it.

  4. #14

    Re: Discussing Some Topics

    -Success 10-

    The bigger your dream is, the more lonely you'll be in the initial stages of the journey. Your friends and family members will see you as a big dreamer who will one day realize that you were too unrealistic. As a result, you will lose friends and even family members if you wanted to pursue the dream.

    Given that dreams don't come easy, you need to invest a lot of time and effort. This results in less time to hang out with friends and family members. These are sacrifices one have to make if they want to make something of their life. If they have people supporting them from the very beginning, then these are fortunate people. For most people like me, it's a long and lonely journey where we will have plenty of doubt and look back often.

    Our society can be cruel so, unless you have great friends, you will find yourself alone during the time of need. Nobody is going to be there for you. When I was depressed, I have no one to go to and that pushed me towards my suicide attempt. Going on this journey will in a way help you determine if your friends are there for you or if they're fair weathered and gone at the first sign of trouble.

    We must also remember that, on this journey of ours, we will encounter other people who are like-minded. These people have similar goals and dreams so they understand you. They will be there for you since they know you'll do the same in return.

    During these moments when we are alone, we are also learning to do everything and becoming more independent. We learn new skills and/or improve some of our existing skills. Normally, we might do half the work while someone else does the other half. In this situation, we are forced to do the entire task. We discover that we can do more than what we thought was possible and slowly build confidence.

    The first few stages of the journey won't be easy. It's filled with critics, doubts, challenges and loneliness. Keep going on this journey and you will find people you can count on. People who will have your people so you have people you can treasure for the rest of your life. Part of the success we seek is finding friends who will be with us through our highs and lows. While the journey seem daunting, going through it will be far more rewarding than sticking with the status quo.

  5. #15

    Re: Discussing Some Topics

    -Loneliness-

    You will encounter loneliness in your life. You will have highs and lows throughout your life. During those lows, you will discover if you have fair weathered friends or not. These people want to be there during the good days but will abandon you as soon as the going gets tough. Of course, some people will have friends who remain by their side. For most of us, we will find out we are actually quite lonely during those days.

    When we are lonely, we feel like we're outcasts of society. We feel empty and simply don't belong anywhere. We might not act different or look different but we simply don't fit in. For me, my university campus is pretty big and, as a loner, I'm just going between classes. Other people have friends they hang out with, chat with and laugh with. It's never a good feeling seeing myself have no one. For most of my life, I have been a loner where I'm just by myself. The feeling of loneliness just eats me up from the inside if I ever let it.

    Loneliness can be a terrible thing. I believe it's the main factor for my suicide attempt. I'm certain a lot of people had similar feelings as me at the time when they're lonely. It seemed like, if we were gone today, no one would notice the very next day. Our existence seem so insignificant that, regardless of whether we are present or not, the world would go on spinning as though nothing had changed.

    Having been there, I know dwelling on the loneliness allows it manifest into something terrible. It eventually overwhelms us and push us towards the extreme. Loneliness will happen eventually in your life. It's a phase in our life and it's not always a bad thing. We just got to learn how to utilize this feeling and use to help us seek a better future.

    There are ways to combat loneliness. First, view it as a phase or phases of your life. By seeing it as a phase, you know that it will pass. It won't pass overnight but, give it enough time and put in some work, it will pass and be something of the past. Secondly, treat loneliness as a sign about what you must do with your life. When you feel loneliness, something must not be working out well so changes are in order.

    I've been a loner all my life so far because I never followed my dreams, my heart and listened to my heart. I'm seeking the friends that click with me. We all know those moments where a conversation with a stranger just click instantly as though you and that person had known forever. If I want to end this loneliness, I must make changes like pursuing my dreams. As I said in the last entry, I will find those friends I always sought after.

  6. #16

    Re: Discussing Some Topics

    -Envy-

    Everybody have been envious of others in the past. When I was a kid and my parents weren't particularly wealthy, I was envious of other kids who had the newest and coolest toys. They basically had the things I wished I had but were out of reach at the time.

    Envy is something natural as it's part of being human. For some people, envy might be their main motivation in life. They see other people with great car and house so they decided that they want the same thing. Envy isn't necessarily a bad thing but it can blind people in their journey.

    Let's use the great house and car as an example. What if the family purchasing those items are now heavily in debt? They could have borrowed a ton of money from the bank along with accumulating a bunch of credit card debt. If this family is paying the minimum amount each month, they would take forever to pay it off as the amount of interest they pay at the end is quite staggering.

    The issue with envy is that people are too focused on being like someone else. They want the life of luxury presented by these other people. First, they are blinded from seeing what's needed to make such a lifestyle reality. Can you imagine living a life where you worry about if you can make the monthly payments? Too many people nowadays are living beyond their means and their debt accumulates each year until they are slave to their debts.

    Secondly, envy blinds you from knowing what you want to achieve. In our society, success is commonly associated with owning a great house and car. What ends up happening is, if they get those, they might discover they aren't happy since they get plenty of debt in the process. Of course, these are also material things where, if a person is only focused on them, they will be compensating in other areas and feel unfulfilled in life.

    Envy is natural and just shows that we are human beings. We shouldn't be too focused on what other people have since we have our own path. Trying to gain what other people have makes us walk further from the situation we truly want to be in. We have different definition of success and different methods to get there. Don't let your envy determine how you want to see yourself.

  7. #17

    Re: Discussing Some Topics

    -Habit-

    We all have our habits, both the good and the bad. We know that good habits are hard to come by while the bad habits are the easiest to do. To sleep in and to procrastinate are two of the most common bad habits we have. Good habits like going to the gym daily require a lot more work and lots of discipline to get them established.

    Good habits are hard to accomplish but they are good for our wellbeing or even our success. Most of us heard about the three months needed to establish a good habit. We need to do the same thing continuously for every single day for it to become a habit. For instance, you probably need three months of going to the gym daily before it simply becomes a part of your routine as opposed to this chore you force yourself into doing.

    Bad habits are so easy to get and very difficult to get rid of. Take me for example. I have procrastination which is one of the worst habits to have. People like me usually delay and plan on doing something the next day. The thing about life is that opportunities don't come back the very next day. If you missed it, it's forever out of reach. I know this and the push to stop procrastination has been an uphill battle.

    Habits also say something about the person. If the person has a lot of bad habits, they have been taking the easy way out. I'm not here to judge anyone since I was no different. I also see bad habits as one of the reason why school or work isn't going as well as they did. I thought I had plenty of time so I kept procrastinating at school. Now, I realized that I have this timebomb ticking down and, unless I make changes soon, things will go further downhill.

    Since habits define who we are, we want to have many good habits. Having multiple good habits means you are better disciplined than those who have fewer good habits. This sort of discipline sees you better focused on your goals without giving in or getting distracted. It's far better getting disciplined now and enjoy life later than taking the easy route now and regretting later in life.

  8. #18

    Re: Discussing Some Topics

    -Work-

    Work is what we need to pay for our expenses. After graduation from high school and/or post-secondary, you'll be spending most of your time working. It's a big part of your life so it's natural you want to do more than just tolerate it. From my personal experience, I've done a lot of part-time work while I was attending school. I had some jobs that were really pushing my tolerance for them so I wanted to leave as soon as possible.

    First, you should enjoy the work at least to a certain extent. For example, you might be doing customer service. You should at least enjoy the interaction with the customers so work doesn't seem that bad and passes relatively quickly. If even customer interaction, possibly the main portion of your duties, is awful, then most days are terrible, if not worse should something happen with one of the coworkers.

    Secondly, you must also feel like you're making progress at work. You don't want to go to work knowing what will happen and what you'll accomplish before even starting. At this point, work feels like a chore and most people, including me, don't look forward to doing chores at all. These make work so dull that you never want to go to work and would go to any lengths to avoid it without getting fired.

    My worst job experience was at a fast food restaurant. Much of it was pretty miserable where my shift began before the restaurant opened. I was there to do prep work and, with us being shorthanded a lot of the time, it gets real tough to meet the deadlines. The only upside was being cashier but I was rarely assigned that. The management wasn't great either so not enough pros to even rival the cons.

    I was going there feeling like I'm headed nowhere. It's a fast food restaurant where the only future seem to be becoming a manager at the restaurant. I'm not saying it's a bad job but it's simply not one that could bring out my full potential. When I left, it was such a relief and I know I won't ever look back at it with regret. I probably regretted not leaving any sooner honestly.

    If you are searching for a job, you need to find one you enjoy and/or see a great future for yourself. There's nothing worse in life than getting a job you hate which gets you nowhere in life due to limited career options. I couldn't imagine myself working at the fast food restaurant full-time for the rest of my life so I cannot imagine how people do a job they hate as a living.

  9. #19

    Re: Discussing Some Topics

    -Work 2-

    I want to elaborate on finding work you enjoy. This usually involves finding work related to your hobby or interests. If you enjoy programming, you can go into website design or game designing. If you are into photography, you could work for a magazine or a newspaper. There are lots of opportunities out there but you definitely have to search for it.

    Some of these jobs might appear sparse but you need to work for it if you want to land such a job. When we are determined, we will eventually find what we are searching for. Perseverance and determination along with the belief you can succeed will yield the success you sought after. Such opportunities are attracted to those who really want it. It's a bit like the "ask and you may receive."

    You must know what you are asking for. Therefore, you must narrow down to what you actually want. Being vague usually gets you nowhere since it could include multiple possibilities, several of which aren't even related to what you have in mind. Asking alone isn't enough as you must work towards it. Afterwards, it never hurts to ask nicely.

    It's not always possible to find a job related to your hobby whenever you want to. In the meantime, you have the option of finding a job where you help other people out. When we help people out and get a smile out of them, this seems like a nice reward in itself. Just as negativity spreads, positivity also spreads so, as you make more people happy, you get that in return. If you made four people smile, the joy you feel will match the combined joy of those four people.

    In our society, we are too focused on ourselves. We wonder how we can make ourselves happy and feel fulfilled. The irony is that we often need to give if we want to be happy. I'm not talking about giving physical things like money or gifts. At times, a simple gesture of greeting someone or asking someone distressed if they are alright. Even if you cannot solve the problem, the act showing that someone cares can go a long way for those lonely souls.

    When helping others, you may never see the end result but, as long as you know you are doing something that helps others indirectly, that knowledge alone will brighten your own mood. Considering how much time work occupy in our lives, we really should take extra steps to finding one that makes us happier and more fulfilled.

  10. #20

    Re: Discussing Some Topics

    -Work 3-

    I want to elaborate on finding work where you feel like you have a brighter future if you remained there. My example was the time when I worked at a fast food restaurant where I felt like I was getting nowhere in life. Essentially, I just go there to get a paycheck, pay my expenses and repeat that process over and over again. Nothing really happens in life as a result.

    Nothing is worse than feeling like you're getting nowhere in life. You start to wonder if there's something more in life. We have this feeling because there is indeed something more. Regardless of what background and what education you have, people have incredible potential that just isn't easy to tap into. To tap into this potential, people must get out of their comfort zone and learn from the mistakes they make in life.

    The safe and stable path is going to school, get a degree and get a job from that degree. Of course, it's questionable if this is safe or stable. Sure, you might get a job but a company might go bankrupt or need to cut cost. You could easily be let go by the company which sees you out of a job. We heard this often enough so where's the safety and stability people believe this path held?

    Let's say you have worked at a company for 5 years and you heard about an opportunity. There's a new company led by an ambitious individual. No one knows if this company will succeed or not. If you had a family, you must take into consideration of their well-being. Yet, you must remember that, if you get let go after working several years for a company, you are left with nothing as well. If you are single, ambitious and your gut tells you to do it, there's really no downside in trying out this opportunity.

    Even in the situation the company failed, the lessons you learned could be of some use in the future. For instance, you might want to start your own company. There are lots of opportunities out there and some are great learning experiences. Taking risks does reward those regardless of the outcome. Until we take risks and tap into our hidden potential, we will always have this feeling of us never really fulfilled as though we are missing something. Later in life, we have regrets as we wondered about all those opportunities we passed by due to hesitation.

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