Depression/Anxiety and failing out of love?

[mark1980]

Hello all - this amazing forum has been a huge help in the past and I'm reaching out in the hope of some sense in understanding my current mentality.

My perspective is blurred by my recent decision to quit alcohol and replace it with some Xanax I got from a friend which I'm now weaning myself off after realising how dangerous and addictive it is (I'm seeing my GP in 2 days to ask for help).

I'm going through what feels like severe mental change - massive anxiety and dark depressive moments - and it's affecting how I feel about my wife and marriage. I feel like I'm falling out of love with her and have become besotted with a work colleague who I barely know and is soon getting married herself. I can't make sense of my feelings!

Part of me wants desperately to act on how I'm feeling. Like I have to know if there is any feeling reciprocated from her and if the connection I feel has substance. Deep down it's dangerous and delusional (not to mention wrong and selfish), yet I can't shake the idea that perhaps this is part of my destiny and I can't deal with not knowing.

I'm seeing my GP in 2 days so that will help and I'm reaching out for help everywhere I can. It just feels so trapping and frightening to be going through this!

To anyone who can make some sense of this - I would really appreciate your thoughts x

[Alexldn89]

Please let me tell you hun this is normal.

I just got married in December - straight after honeymoon and back to work I felt no connection with him. I felt like I didn’t actually love him at all.. how bad is that?
It is a phase and normally it gets worse because you give it so much attention.
Try and be normal, act a bit nicer try and be more physical and for me I started to feel normal again but this does happen love don’t be worried by it! Anxiety affects so much and can make you think your unhappy with someone and your not xxx

---------- Post added at 23:22 ---------- Previous post was at 23:15 ----------

I somewhat felt like someone I knew was a way out as if my head was telling me to be with that person also. But a way out of what?!
There’s nothing to escape.
Tread very carefully because sometimes our minds make us think oh ok. Something new, someone new .. don’t know anything about me or my issues but when you think about it how is that going to help? Once they know the issues will they be so understanding. . Probably not.
You may lay your cards on the table, your co worker may be disgusted and tell your wife and her soon to be husband .. be very careful as this could ruin so much and send you further into depression.
You’ve said it yourself you can’t make sense of your feelings, it’s selfish, wrong AND delusional.. also your wife.. you took vows infront of people.. you’ve created a life together .. never betray your best friend .. once that happens .. all is lost ..

Don’t let your mind fool you mate. . Could you really do that to your wife? REALLY? Deep down.. to hurt someone when your clearly hurting yourself. Look at this as a bigger picture first all the chaos and hurt that could come from this ..