Husband with severe stress and depression

[Bonkersbob1710]

Hi All
Husband was in a job for 4 months which he hated and boss was a harrassing kind.
Then company announced a week ago restructure, save costs, redundancies across sales force - he is one 3 sales people.
He hates his boss! Company is struggling £ - he would never have left his previous job if he knew all of this.
Lost his direction, doc has signed off anyway for 4 weeks - to get him to breath. He doesnt sleep, eat or socialise - all because of this job and boss.
Nothing is worth your health! He resigned following the co news, at least he gets 4 weeks notice. He knows he could not reapply for the 'new' role they have as he cant work 24/7 for this hideous man.
However, now he feels useless, very low, no direction and obviously worrying about bills/mortgage/money etc.
Do you think I should talk doc re meds? Think its going to take more than few weeks rest to sort out
Thx

[Greycylinder]

Yes, get him to a doctor. Men often won't take the initiative so you may have to persuade him but either medication or counselling should help him come to terms with this.

[ankietyjoe]

I'm a man who did take the initiative (as many other do too).

Tell him from me, leaving a stressful job in London about 15 years ago was the best thing I ever did.

There is an irrational worship of work and business these days, and as you say it's not worth your health. There are plenty of other options whereby do don't have to kill yourself working for a dick.

I really don't think he'll need meds right now (although the choice is obviously his), but time to regather thoughts and to breathe should help wonders as Spring is just around the corner. I would recommend many family walks in the sunshine and countryside.

[lior]

Sorry to hear about your husband.

I also know many men who do take the initiative with their mental health.

My view is that pressuring people into treatment of any kind isn't going to work as well as if they decide to go of their own volition. Pressuring someone into taking medication, especially when they're vulnerable, could lead to them being upset with you in the future. Whether or not your husband decides to take medication should be up to him.

People have got through depression without meds, and others have relied on it. It made the world of a difference to me. I made a very careful, informed decision to go on them.

Just re-read your post - you did mean you'd talk to the dr about meds for him rather than meds for you, right?

I'm really sorry he had such a horrible boss. Hopefully now he will start to reassess what he values and end up being in a job with people he likes - after as much time off as he can take/is necessary.

[Bonkersbob1710]

Thanks all for your comments. Going to review things with doc re if need meds for him on 4 April.
For now, trying to get him to accept it was right to walk away - walks, talks and just sleeping tablets to help his body rest at night (prescribed by doc).

He just feels worthless and constantly worrying about money/mortgage/bills now that he 'walked away' from job.