extreme overwhelming fear of dying

[mark78]

hey every one my name is mark im 36 yrs old and im from the rep of ireland. im a new member to this website i have joined no more panic because im at my wits end i have been suffering with depression and anxiety and the constant fear of dying since da age of 18. it all started after i was in a car accident with my dad which i thought i was dealing with and getting on with my life till one day a few months after the accident i was driving along on my motor bike when all of a sudden this awful feeling came over me i thought i was going to die right ther and then now im 36 and im still no better off i had been attending mental health clinics for many years and felt they where of no real help to me so i stoped going to them i thought i could do it on my own more fool me. it has consumed and restricted my life since da age of 18 i wont travel far from home or fly on a plane or get on a train or bus i will only get in to a car as long as i know it will only be a short journey and even at that im very nervous ive havint been in a relationship since da age of about 15. for all this time i have felt absolutely hopeless like i just cant see a way out of this or i cant ever see my self leading a normal life again im tinking about dying and death every second of every day its with me all the time no matter how hard i try to escape it. and to make tings even worse when i see other people and friends and family leading normal lifes it really gets me down even more so than i am all ready because life is just passing me by and what seems like at a rapid rate. im so afraid of dying im actually terrified of living how will i ever lead a normal life again i really dont know

[sial72]

Hi Mark
I am so sorry you are feeling like this. I was exactly the same for years. Then I had a kind of existential crisis and a lot of things changed.
It is really annoying that because of a fear of dying you are not actually living.
I would say there is a big control issue here. But life, cirscumstances...they can't be controlled, they are not in our hands.
And on the subject of dying, I know you won't like this one, but yes you are going to die, we are all going to die, sooner or later.
I didn't believe in anything, but as I'm getting older I am becoming more spiritual (not religious).
Have you read Claire Weekes?
Xxx

[cjemc]

Hi Mark, I can relate entirely. My case is severe/acute. I can trace my anxiety all the way back to the age of 3-4 years. In my case my anxiety is definitely inherited and not entirely the result of life changes. However saying that my lifelong inherited anxiety traits/disorder has/have been getting worse in recent years after my Dad bit my Mum, my Nan died a long, horrible death, we had to sell her house to pay for her care, my sisters boyfriends Mum died and so did his Nan within the space of 20 weeks.

All these factors have sent my anxiety through the roof. I have also developed depression and I believe that I have had a nervous breakdown due to all of the above stress. I am also severely phobic and I also think I have some form of OCD. I had some mild OCD as a teenager which went away by itself.

I am no good with words really but I can assure you I can related 100% to what you describe about yourself above.

[Oosh]

The awful feeling that came over you when you were on your bike, when you felt you were going to die, was it a panic attack ? Because you go onto say you won't go on public transport anymore for fear of ... you say a fear of dying but is it because you fear a panic attack, like you experienced on the motorbike where you felt like you were dying ?

Are you associating panic attacks with dying ?
Do you fear you are going to die when you are having a panic attack ?
A lot of people do and end up in A+E for that reason.

A panic attacking is not dying. You are not going to die when your body feels panic.

[mark78]

hi Oosh what happend to me when i was on my motor bike was a panic attack.as to why i won't go on public transport or travel far from home is a fear of panic attack's but also a overwhelming fear someting will happen to me while i am away from my loved ones. or someting bad will happen to someone in my family. even as type these words realise how mad it must sound but sadly i can't help tinking this way.

---------- Post added at 00:13 ---------- Previous post was at 00:05 ----------

hey sial72 no ive never heard of Claire Weekes? but i will look in to that thanks very much for the tip.

[ella32]

Hi Mark I'm so sorry ur struggling. I can relate to ur fear of dying I have the same issue myself. Mine started 16 years ago after the death of my baby and have been struggling with the fear of dying everyday since. Have panic attacks often aswell but it this fear of every ache or pain being fatal is hard to overcome. Sometimes I'm afraid to sleep incase I don't wake up. Xxx ur way of thinking doesn't sound mad at all its a thought pattern you have become stuck in . I have been told the same thing it's like a circle the thoughts keeps going around .xx

[Carnation]

Hi Mark78.

I would like to pick up with Sial72 reasons of control, that definitely comes into it.

And Oosh has got it one. A Panic Attack, not dying.

I have been through this and to the other side Mark78.
There is light at the end of the tunnel, excuse the pun.

I too was in a Car crash and I had a delay in feeling this awful feelings of what feels like you are about to die! It was a Panic Attack, but it feels like you are dying.
And if you have never experienced this before, it comes as quite a shook.
I remember phoning my partner to say goodbye to him, when it first happened.

So what is happening to you? It is Fear. No, I am not saying you are weak, because I am a strong and determined person myself. But Fear can set in your Mind, even if you are not thinking about anything at the time.
What you have to do is eliminate the Fear.
I remember a year ago, I could not even get in a car!
You have to use stuff to get you through this.
And I am afraid that the more people that you have around you that are ill, dying or died will trigger off yet more Fear.

Can I ask if you have a Therapist or had any Therapy?
It sounds like you need guidance or support on this.

Just remember that nothing is going to happen to you if you have a Panic Attack and you may not even have one. It is the Fear that brings them on. So do negative thoughts and bad memories.

[mark78]

to continue on from my first post i do find so hard to cope during the day time. its only at night time i feel a little bit of relief from my torment i tink why this is i feel like i don't have to deal with the reality of life its self. today i was really irritable and anxious snaping at my ma and dad i feel so bad about that i know its not ther fault i feel this way but sadly i just can't seem to help it. im here now lieing in bed and im dreading twomorro because i know its going to be the same as every other day i have been having lately pure mental torcher. also my sister is getting married in 4weeks time and im not looking forward to it at all like this cant be right i should be looking forward to it to such happy occasion.

---------- Post added at 00:54 ---------- Previous post was at 00:42 ----------

hey ella32 im so sorry you lost your baby i couldint begin to imagine the pain you must feel. you said you do be afraid to go asleep wheres my self i look forward to sleep as i feel its the only time i get any peace from my torment do you tink that is weird ???

[ella32]

I don't find that weird at all. X

[mark78]

hey Carnation i did have Therapy in the past but i didin't stick at it because i feelt the Therapist wasin;t qualified enough to help me this countrys mental health care system is terrible.

---------- Post added at 01:09 ---------- Previous post was at 01:02 ----------

ella32 can i ask do you fear travel far from home or getting on public transport ???