suicidal thoughts scaring me :( pls read

[Sage579]

Iv recently had a relaspe and I know how you feel. This relaspe came from left field and took me out and just now getting back to myself and those thought have also scared me. I don't wanna hurt myself or give up things I like. But that wanted relief from the feelings is so enticing but like everyone has said here. Get on meds get cbt therapy ( I just started my therapy And about 5 weeks into meds) they have been loosing there grip.

[jadedreams]

Hi all, yes I too have had the intrusive thoughts - mainly the fear of suicide for over a year now. They started when my health anxiety hit an all time high, imagine being terribly afraid to die and then you get thoughts about hurting yourself that you're so very scared of. Definitely started a whole new kind of anxiety for me.

But here I am, over a year later - the thoughts are much less, I do take meds and see a counselor. I'm not where I'd like to be yet, but I am determined to get there. I've went from hundreds of thoughts each day to just a few. And Becks some of your thoughts like "what if I get so bad/depressed I could actually do it" could have come from my own mind. Or if you stand on a tall building or see a certain object a thought pops in your mind that terrifies you.

You're very fear is what indicates they are intrusive and that you won't act on them. As others have said you have to just let the thoughts be, work on your reaction to them. Try to start saying to yourself "oh that's just another one of those thoughts" and focus on an activity. Once you starve them of your fear reaction the thoughts will start to fade. Hang in there, we can do this!

[smoothiefun]

Hey Becks, it's awful how our minds try and upset us so much. Mine also tries to discover the most awful things then focuses on them. I think the replies all offer good advice that i think we all need to hear and keep reminding ourselves andas @jadedreams says it's our reaction to the thoughts. they are like bullies and crave attention. I know it's not easy though but we have to keep trying.

[sarah_saaan]

Hi there,

I have been having intusive thoughts about suicide for a while now, for the last few weeks they have been terrible and Im finding it hard to deal with. I don't really understand them because if I really wanted to commit suicide then surely I would just do it and not worry that im actually going to do it. I worry that the anxiety and thoughts are going to get so bad that I will act on the suicidal thoughts as a way of release. it really really terrifies me that Im going to act on them or that they will never go away. I get a feeling that comes out of the blue like everything is pointless and that I may aswell kill myself. if im on a highrise building i panic that im going to jump...if I see a belt it triggers the same kind of thought etc etc etc. I have confided in my partner about my thoughts and he says that I wont act on it, but maybe it will all come to much for me and I will actually do it...im so scared :(

Hi I also have suicidal thoughts its been a year now and they're still here and that's exactly what I'm going through I don't wanna die I'm scared that the thoughts won't go away and that one day I will it get so overwhelming sometimes and I just start to cry because why won't it stop I'm only 18 and it started when I smoked weed for the first time and I'm religious so I thought God was punishing me for smoking but I prayed and asked for forgiveness 😢 I told my dad and my sister pretty much everyone because I really want help and I'm like shy I have social anxiety so I haven't made a doctor's appointment because I'm scared I usually have my dad do it I asked him many times but he hasn't everyone that I've told says I won't do it and that's a big relief I just feel like it's getting stronger but everything I've done so far is not working like yesterday I Saged my house.Becky did your thoughts ever go away?and seeing everyone else going through pretty much the same thing it's kind of also a relief because I'm not the only one

[Paintedghost]

WHOA BECKY. I came on here to write a post about THIS EXACT SAME THING. You are like my kindred spirit right now, because ive been dealing with this for weeks and I was really hoping that this is just OCD. I have a looong history of Pure O/OCD so I recognized that it follows similar patterns to OCD- it's just the content is so frightening it made me doubt (doubting should have been my first clue that it's OCD) anyways I'm so sorry you are dealing with this as well- and I'm also going through depersonalization and depression too so it makes these thoughts very difficult to hash out. My thoughts are like a constant stream of "you don't want your life" "you hate yourself" "life is pointless" and so on, followed by feelings of numbness, fear, and sadness. I think the very act of living our lives goes against the intrusive thoughts, therefore my anxiety is consistently high right now because it's like I'm in a constant ERP exposure. But especially after reading your post, I just KNOW we are going to get through this. It won't always be like this, we just have to remember that these thoughts are ego-dystonic. Meaning they are the OPPOSITE of what we really want. I'm here to chat more if you need to! You're not alone in this