Gynecologist, terrified to go but also terrified of dying of cancer

[UnknownUser]

After hearing today about a relative of mine who is going to have his testicle removed due to abnormalities, it got me thinking about "women's health". I'm 25 and have never been to a gynecologist basically because I'm too scared, but now my death anxiety (which is hugely problematic) is triggering health anxiety. I am scared that I unknowingly have cancer :(

I realised that Jade Goody who died of cervical cancer was only two years older than me and that is terrifying.

Just thinking about the examination makes me want to cry. I seriously think I'll need to take the max does of my benzos just to survive it. The entire process horrifies me, I'm *extremely* uncomfortable with being exposed like that. I know I can request a female doctor but I still think I'll panic and probably sob like a baby though the whole thing.

The worst part though is waiting for test results. I was worrying over a simple blood test last month, this would be even worse! And if they say anything is abnormal that to me means I am going to die, I'd panic every single day, I literally would not be able to function until I was told I was ok. I'm so so so scared of the waiting period for getting results, or hearing something bad.

But I also don't want to die of cancer :( I looked up the survival odds and saw something like only 63% of women with cervical cancer are still alive after ten years.

How do other women with anxiety problems, especially health anxiety, handle this? If I took three benzos before my appointment (my max daily dose) would that be ok? How long do test results take generally and how do you cope with the waiting time?

[Munchlet]

Hi

I think anyone with HA can relate to what you are saying but by the same token by not going you are just increasing your anxiety as you are worrying that you have something wrong.

I'm a lot older than you and on and off for the last few years have had quite a few problems, from abnormal smear tests, to spotting, irregular periods etc etc. I've had three visits to the hospital for closer examinations, 3 ultrasounds, cells removed, it goes on and on but none of my problems thankfully have been serious.

In fact during the last two weeks I've had a normal smear test and a normal ultrasound.

What you need to keep in mind is these tests are done so things can be picked up early. Cervical cancer takes a long time to develop which is why they do the smear test. Jade Goody's story was very very sad but it's also exceptionally rare and if you read her own articles she admits she'd previously had abnormal cells removed and had received notification from the hospital to go back for more tests and she didn't. So whilst she unfortunately died from it, there's probably a good chance that if she had gone back to hospital she would still be here today.

The test itself is a breeze, honestly take it from someone who has had more than she cares to remember. Explain to the doctor you are very anxious and uncomfortable about it and I'm sure they will do everything they can to reassure you. They are used to dealing with anxious people and I can't imagine there are many women that don't feel uncomfortable and exposed whilst having the test done but honestly it's over and done with so quick and they will cover you to spare your modesty as much as possible.

I can totally relate to what you are saying I've been going through a batch of tests and I'm having to have them one at a time as I get myself in such a state, but a few weeks ago I was convinced I had a gynae cancer but now with a clear smear and a clear ultrasound I feel so much better. I just need to muster up courage to have the dreaded blood tests!!! It's hell going through it but you will be so glad when you do it and the chances are everything will be absolutely fine anyway, and even if you were called back there are so many more benign common things it's likely to be than cancer.

Take care

[UnknownUser]

Thanks for the reply Munchlet!

That's exactly what I am doing, being scared of an exam but at the same time making myself more anxious by not having the exam.

I didn't know that extra information about Jade Goody, that really is tragic that she could have survived if she hadn't ignored the hospital notifications. This sort of thing is why I think I will go, I don't have any symptoms of cervical cancer so if there is anything wrong it probably isn't far along and would be much easier to treat.

It's nice to hear the exams aren't a big deal for you. I read some horror stories online about rude and condescending doctors doing these exams which made me worried. I think me being scared is unavoidable, but I am hoping I can take my pills and talk to my doctor to make it a bit easier. Do you know if they'd have a problem with me using my pills to calm myself down? I was sedated when I had cavities filled at the dentist because I literally couldn't stop shaking while I was being examined so I think I need some sort of sedative.

And you're right, I probably will feel much better if I get a clean result. I just hope I don't give myself a heart attack while waiting for them! I hope your blood tests will be alright I find them scary too.

[swgrl09]

Muchlet said it all, really, about keeping up with tests. It really is a slow developing cancer so if (HUGE If though) you had anything show up abnormal, they would just take care of it or keep an eye on it and proceed as needed. It's cancer, but it's preventable.

The actual exam isn't that bad really. I was terrified my first time and my blood pressure was through the roof. But honestly, you just kind of get used to it. They keep you covered and only uncover what they need to look at. It can be a little uncomfortable, but it is over really quickly. After I had gone once, I really didn't get concerned about the actual exam again.

Doctors are really understanding and I am sure, if you are honest about your nerves, they will take good care of you.

[Munchlet]

I honestly can't see they'd have a problem with you taking medication, it's not like it would in anyway affect or hinder the test so if it helps calm you down then it has to be a good thing.

Just mention to them when you go that you have had to take something to calm you down because you are so anxious, that in itself should be enough for them to know you need a bit of reassurance.

As I say I've had loads, probably a dozen if not more and I have never had a nurse or doctor who was anything other than reassuring and did everything they could to help me relax.

I'm sure you will be fine, go and get it over with, you'll feel so much happier once you've had it done.

[anthrokid]

As others have said, the tests they run pick up any abnormalities very early. Even before a cancer develops there are signs these tests can pick up. They are fantastic preventative measures.

I think it'd be a great idea to talk to the doctor you see and let them know about your anxiety and concerns. They'll be able to talk you through the procedure and explain what everything means and why things are tested. They understand that it can be quite a daunting thing - even people without anxiety worry about cancer.

As a mental health professional, I would recommend against taking 3 benzos at once. Making a habit of taking more than 1 at a time can raise your tolerance levels. This means that the more often you take a higher dose, the more likely it is that the lower dose will stop working as effectively. If this happens, you'll need to increase all the time to get the same effects you used to get from 1, which is not good for you at all.

[UnknownUser]

Thanks to everyone who has replied, I will probably speak to my doctor when I see her (she wants me to come in to see how my meds are going anyway) and ask her about a referral. It's really scary, but I really don't want cancer.

anthrokid, I normally only take half a benzo at a time which is way lower than what I am allowed to. I only think about taking more this one time because it is something exceptionally hard for me mentally. I shake and cry when I panic which could make the exam much harder for me and for the doctor, so I'd like to be able to take something that might prevent that. If I took three for this then it would be a one off, I don't want to have to keep spending money on benzos so I'd rather not need a high dose in general.

[Sallyangelwings]

I wouldn't be worried about dying from cancer, in mid 20s it could happen but statistically it's not the biggest danger you'll face! It is however well worth going to a gynecologist, as long as the pap, she will do other checks on you which will confirm everything is as it should be. Although when I lived in England well women tests were done by my local GP in a specialist surgery...

Good luck and don't be scared! The only think to remember is that there are some men who have decided to specilaise in gynecology too, so if you feel a little uncomfortable having your breast/ vagina exams being handled by a guy, make sure you specifically request a lady. Here in France female gynecologist are the majority but are still in much more demand then the guys so if you don't ask and you go to a clinique, you'll usually always be stuck with a man who in my experience give a much worse care as they have no personal experience and can sometimes be a little... well... very creepy.

[puzzledlass]

I have posted this many times before and will probably continue to do so... take a look, particularly at the diagrams. It was written by a nurse, so reliable info.

http://thehairpin.com/2012/01/a-scen...rmal-pap-smear

[annie2008]

The worst part though is waiting for test results. I was worrying over a simple blood test last month, this would be even worse! And if they say anything is abnormal that to me means I am going to die, I'd panic every single day, I literally would not be able to function until I was told I was ok. I'm so so so scared of the waiting period for getting results, or hearing something bad.

How do other women with anxiety problems, especially health anxiety, handle this? If I took three benzos before my appointment (my max daily dose) would that be ok? How long do test results take generally and how do you cope with the waiting time?[/QUOTE]

Hi

I am in this position now. I went for my smear a week ago and was told that results in my area were taking around 4-6 weeks to come back! I cant suger coat it for you as I am the same as you, I feel like its going to be the worst news. The only thing I can say is that I felt like this as soon as I received the smear due letter. I thought oh I will leave it a couple of weeks before I book my test but then my anxiety kicked in and thought well I may as well just get it over with. I feel for you I really do. I have small moments of feeling ok ish then I get the most awful thoughts running through my head :( All I can say is it sounds like your really worked up already the same as I was, maybe just best to get it out of the way :-\

I wish I could say something to make you feel better, I wish somebody could say something to make me feel better but we are not the only ones that fear our results judging from some ofd the posts on here.

You take care