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Thread: I dont like people getting too close to me...

  1. #1
    Join Date
    Mar 2009
    Posts
    1,488

    I dont like people getting too close to me...

    Hi
    Has anyone ever felt like they dont want people close to them in their life?
    People try to get friendly with me, but I keep them at arms length. I have been like this for a long time. I have had a lot of friends and was always sociable and outgoing and I do make friends easily but I don't want them getting close to me. I have pushed so many friends away by just cutting contact with them.
    I always feel 'different' to other people.
    I am always friendly with people and chat but thats as far as I want it to go...
    I am quite happy with just a few people in my life. Does anyone think this is odd? I am sure my partner suspects this, but I have explained to him, that I am often at my happiest when I am on my own.
    I cant be doing with people and I find a lot of people are uncaring and selfish - well ones I have met anyway! . I think there are very few genuinely nice caring people in the world it seems...I just like time spent keeping myself occupied with the things that I love doing, including reading, and all the other things plus being with my pets. I am the same with my family too. I find my family has a very negative impact on me due to all their problems and so I stay away plus they too are not ones for meeting up.
    Do I sound really odd??? lol
    Last edited by PoppyC; 19-04-09 at 23:19.

  2. #2

    Re: I dont like people getting too close to me...

    Sound just like me - I see myself as different.. to everyone. I used to enjoy that as a late teen and even in my very early 20s, but then my self-image started working against me.

    To remedy that to some extent you can style yourself and adopt simple habits of things you perceive as being 'like other people'. That'll make you feel like you fit in when around people to a large degree.

    The real problem I think though is negativity from worrying all the time. We spend so much time thinking how different we are from other people and focus on our anxieties, instead of focusing on how similar we all are.

    You have more in common with other people than you do different I'd bet
    __________________
    How you feel is not how others see you. Always project confidence and a strong self-image with your clothes and body language and people will respond well to you

  3. #3
    Join Date
    Nov 2008
    Posts
    57

    Re: I dont like people getting too close to me...

    I myself do find it difficult to let people get close to me. I am trying to change. I have joined a bowling club in the last few weeks so I must try and let people to get to know me more. I have always been a very shy person. Having a stutter has made me very self aware of myself. It has taken me lots of years to face up to being different from other people, and to like myself as a person.

  4. #4
    Join Date
    Mar 2009
    Posts
    1,488

    Re: I dont like people getting too close to me...

    Hi Carefree and Keith
    Thank you for your replies.
    Keith - I hope the bowling goes well for you. I think its good to have an interest and make ourselves get out there and try to meet new friends, however call me anti social but I dont want any lol You sound like you are being very positive which is a good thing!
    I have people who I know I could pick up the phone to and call and meet up with but I really dont want to. I am due to go to a party this coming weekend but already thinking of ways to not go which wont please my partner.
    I am so happy not having people around mainly. I suppose a part of me feels that maybe this is odd considering I used to be very outgoing.
    Carefree - Dont get me wrong -I dont look 'odd' - I am very modern in how I look and love anything to do with clothes, make up, hair - all the usual girly things, however I would never adopt any image to 'fit in' with other people - they take me as I am or not at all.
    I think since my breakdown I just want and need a quiet calm peaceful life now. I used to be out clubbing and pubbing all the time and had quite a wild past but since becoming unwell I have morphed into a pensioner it seems lol but I am enjoying it but feel like maybe I should not be like this also.
    Sorry if this post makes no sense - my head feels foggy today with effects of citalopram

  5. #5
    Join Date
    Nov 2008
    Posts
    386

    Re: I dont like people getting too close to me...

    Yes I'm just the same Poppy. I don't really have any close female friends and I'm quite happy about that. I could join things and make friends easily but I don't - I seem to back off. I like talking to people when I walk my dog but I don't want to get involved in anything else. Maybe at the back of my mind I always worry that they won't like me so it's easier not to let friendships go any further. My o.h is the same though he's not one for going out with the lads or anything - he's happy just doing family things.

  6. #6

    Re: I dont like people getting too close to me...

    PoppyC you just sound burned out with 'people' and the nonsense that comes with them

    You have every right to want to do what you want

    I used to club a lot too, but now I can't think of anything worse. Though I do workout a lot now - I enjoy going to the gym, but I'm not attracted to gym personalities to be honest, so I wear headphones now Apart from that, I don't really do anything socially, though my gf always whines (she's foreign so loves being out looking around). I'm happy this way... BUT.. I do dream of moving to Canada or America and being social. That motivates me actually..
    __________________
    How you feel is not how others see you. Always project confidence and a strong self-image with your clothes and body language and people will respond well to you

  7. #7

    Re: I dont like people getting too close to me...

    Hi poppyc yes i know just how you feel Iam constantly pushing people away becausde I dont want anyone to be close to me. because Iam scared of rejection. so iam always doing things to make people not me and so that hthey hate me.
    so Hugs I know EXACTLY what you GOING THROUGH.

  8. #8

    Re: I dont like people getting too close to me...

    I feel different from everyone, even my family. I tend to describe it as being a "Frasier Crane in a room full of Martins!". I think people find my intellect offputting and it makes me appear alienating. However, when I'm around people who are just as intelligent as me, I get the impression they think I'm stupid! Its a strange situation to be in, feeling as though you don't quite fit in. I've found that a lot of people are in cliques and aren't particularly welcoming to new people, if its intended or otherwise.

  9. #9

    Re: I dont like people getting too close to me...

    Poppy C-- this is going to be of no help to you whatsoever, and in fact i tried answering you but my answer took that long that i have started a new thread.

    But regardless, i want to thank you for putting your post together, - I feel EXACTLY the same way, and i have never , until this evening, heard of anyone else feeling the same until i came across your post.

    so , i cant help you, but want to thank you all the same.

    I hope from the bottom of my heart you find whatever it is you want- and may you always have peace of mind.

    x

  10. #10

    Re: I dont like people getting too close to me...

    you know i'm so glad i'm not the only one who's like this, i always thought it was just me and that i was alone, i know most people don't understand why, but it's ok to be different.

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