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Thread: I need to help with relaxing

  1. #1
    Join Date
    Feb 2004
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    , , United Kingdom.
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    I need to help with relaxing

    Hello to everyone.

    My name is Beverley and I am new to the forum.

    I've began to suffer from mild PA again after many years free of them.

    I have always been a nervous, born-worrier type even at school. I started to get bad pa after mum died in 1983 and has a result I won't go out unless someone was with me. Even when I started working someone came with me to the bus stop and was there to meet me in the evening.


    I became a carer in 1990 and have be ever since looking after my handicapped brother. It hasn't be to bad. Dad who has just turn 80 years young in feb was really poorly last summer and since had trouble getting out and about.

    So I tend to do all the running around shopping paying bills etc and the last thing I need it to be suffering from pa.

    I had my pa just before christmas gone. I have been stressed out plus doing a lot of worrying. That did't help things.

    I was going to the local shop for the weekly run but all a sudden I felt funny my heart beating 50 to the dozen, legs shaking, hands shaking all I did was turn right around and went home I spent the rest of the day lying on the sofa it knocked me for six. I thought it had something to do with being that time of month I am on HRT and have be for about 8-9 years

    Ever since I had them nearly every day and I am scare of going out on my own even to the local shop on the corner.

    I seem to get this feelings around the time of month and I don't know if this has everything to do with it off it see th GP on friday to but my mind at ease.

    Sorry for the long story as anyone got any tips they like to share with me how to keep my mind of pa when I am out as I am sure that makes matters worse I keep thinking I am going to be taken bad while I am out.

    I need lots of help learning how to relax.

    Warmest Regards

    Beverley


  2. #2
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    Feb 2004
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    hello Beverley,
    I'm new too. I introduced myself the other day in the "introduce yourself" section. (rossk)
    I've looked at and heard so many truths and helpful things on this site in the last week and today I decided to give up smoking.
    Actually I gave up smoking!
    That's good.
    Well I'm actually replying because it's half an hour since you posted and my first half an hour was like a week.
    I am sure that you will get some great support and advice in the near future.
    Take care
    Ross

  3. #3
    Join Date
    Oct 2003
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    , , United Kingdom.
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    hi beverley,

    welcome to this great site,you will receive great advice and support from lots of very nice people.

    first of all,when you see your doctor on friday,ask him/her if you should be on HRT after 8/9 years,as it doesnt sound right to me.

    you really are a nice caring person,and we often wonder,why does this happen to people like you...but you have already said,it started after the death of your mother,well we all handle traumatic experiences in our life differently.

    the brain has its own filing system..thats where our thoughts come from,the slightest thing can bring out a file that reminds us of past bad experiences,and can make us anxious,or at there worse,cause us to panic..and god can they ruin our lives.

    we have to water down those files,by using different techniques...read all the great information,that nicola has written on the home page..read about relaxation ,about correct breathing,long baths,just by candlelite,nice music,in the background,massage,so good for you,the correct diet,take vitaminB complex daily,bach rescue,takes the edge off anxiety.

    keep posting here,get it off your chest,a problem shared,is a problem halved...best wishes..bryan.

  4. #4
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    Ross - giving up smoking is fabulous but just remember that if you feel worse in the next few days it is purely withdrawal and not you getting worse .

    Beverley- it really sounds like you could do with some support for you and time away from all your responsibilities. A weekly yoga, tai'chi or pilates class may provide that as well as help you to relax and reassure you that there are may people out there to get to know and share with.

    Have a chat with your GP about what you're on and ensure you've had a recent thyroid check.

    Now you're associating going out with PA so you need to rebuild your confidence that even if yoou do have them, they will not harm you and you can continue with your outing .

    Being a carer especially for family members can mean that you are very aware that they are mortal and if you started PA when Mum died maybe subconciously your Dad illness has got to you in terms of worrying about his eventual death too and how you and your brother will manage then.
    CRUSE are a wonderful charity that deal with coping with bereavement and are available to talk to at any time.

    Take care


    Meg

    Watch your thoughts, they become your words...
    Watch your words, they become your actions... Watch your actions, they become your habits... Watch your habits, they become your character... Watch your character, it becomes your destiny...

  5. #5
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    Feb 2004
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    Hello,

    It me again,
    I recently started looking on the internet about pa to be honest with you I was surprised to find just how many other suffers there is it really opened my eyes.

    I guess I always thought it only me this is happening to that a was the only one in the world selfish for me to think this way but when I didn't know any of my friends having these problems when I started going through them and I would never talk about it not even to my family it was something that I thought was normal in life for everyone.

    I remember when I was at school and mom was going through the menopause. I didn't know this then as it was never spoken of it was only when I started the early menopause dad told me that it knock mum for six as there wasn't the treatment then there is today that she wouldn't leave the house unless one of us was with her. The drs gave her some kind of tablets for her problems which I thinked helped but boy she had alot a trouble breaking off them but with the family supportting her she did it. Any to cut a long story short mum suffered from pa but dad never gave up on getting her out of the house
    and in the end we couldn't keep her in she loved her bingo

    I know that I can overcome this I have done it before I will do this again saying that I went out this morning feeling a nervous more than anything but on the way home I was happy as larry no nervous at all I was chuffed.

    I ordered a Panic Prevention Programme cd from http://www.uncommon-knowledge.co.uk on monday got it today listen to it good sound advice the relaxation part will a bit of getting use to relaxing doesn't come easy to me I tend to be racing all over the place in body and mind.

    Also I got some Kalms tablets from the chemist for the stress as anyone tried these?

    Sorry for babbling on

    Warmest Regards

    Beverley

  6. #6
    Join Date
    Oct 2003
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    913
    Hiya Beverly,

    Is that a support group in your area for carers? You sound as if you are doing an awful lot and possibly need someone (or a group) who would just let you lean on them and have some you time. Of course we are all here and wil help as much as we can with the panic etc but it must be very stressful being a carer.

    When I found this site I was massively relieved as I(like you) thought it was just me!! You are not alone and we will help all we can. It is amazing the amount of people who have panic/anxiety to one degree or another I have only found out by talking to people about my experinces and a few people have said OH Really this or that happens to me

    I don't think you are selfish at all infact quite the opposite but pls try and get some 'you' time

    Take Care
    Lucky

  7. #7
    Join Date
    May 2003
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    , , United Kingdom.
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    hi beverly
    just too say ive tried the kalms tablets and they unfortunatly didnt give me much releif :(but everyone is diffrent so hopefully they might help you, i just take my meds precribed from doctors now and they seem too help better, altho i was dissapointed with the kalms cos i really would have prefferd too be on something herbal
    on the point off relaxing this i find very hard too do and i am always aware off my breathing ,swallowing @ how i look and act in front off other people too name a few
    its funny cos evry xmas b/day my presents seem too consit of bubble lamps ,oils ,incence ,lava lamps,footspas and self help books think theyre tryn too tell me something i think lol

    so welcome too the site beverly

    take care

    caz

  8. #8
    Join Date
    Feb 2004
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    Hi


    Went to the drs last night and she checked my blood pressure that's okI explained what was happening and when I was getting the pa around the 4th week of the month and I thought it may have had something to do with the patches I using for the menopause. She did some checking in a book to see if this is a side affect with them she didn't find anything. I told her that I have been under a lot of stress in the last 3 months. As I also think pa's was brought on by the stress she said once that has calmed down I should be ok.

    I show her the Kalms tablets and she said the were good.

    She asked me if I want to take any prescribed tablets to help with the pa's I said I want to do it natually she did however write a herbal valerian they come in tablet form she said also in differnt strengths so it was a matter of finding which suited me.

    Has anyone tried the valerian tablets?

    Speaking of herbals tablets as anyone used any others if so which ones and also for how long did you take them for ie did you take them for a short time have a break then return to them in others words are they additive[?]

    Speak to you all soon[8D]

    Wamest Regards

    Beverley



  9. #9
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    Feb 2004
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    Hi Again

    I keep forgetting to put it in my any of my replies. So here it is now!!

    Thanks to everyone to took the time to read and reply to my messages.

    I swear I will loose my head if it wasn't screwed on

    3 days pa free

    Beverley

  10. #10
    Join Date
    Jun 2003
    Location
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    Yes , Valarian are excellent . They are available in tincture ( quickest acting) as well as tablets. They're non addictive .

    Passiflora is good too .

    Kava was the best for anxiety but is currently off the market hopefully temporarily !


    Meg

    Watch your thoughts, they become your words...
    Watch your words, they become your actions... Watch your actions, they become your habits... Watch your habits, they become your character... Watch your character, it becomes your destiny...

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