Need abit of advice for thursday!

[clair7]

Hi all,

Im starting to get anx already lol!

My great aunite died about two weeks ago and its her funeral on thursday afternoon, im so worried that i'll let her down by panicking or not being able to go because anx is too bad. Im agoraphobic and am anx pretty much all day every day but can sometimes go out with the help of herbal pills (valerina and kalms).
Recently ive been finding it alot harder to fend off the anx and panic as i just feel so tired of it and my brain just gives up fighting it.
Anyway, ive got to go in the car for about 30 mins to get to the crematorium (something im also scared of) and im so worried that i'll just panic and want to/have to go home.
Death also freaks me out and im worried that when i see the coffin or whem in im the crem i'll just freak and make a complete idiot out of myself by either panicking and fainting or running out.
My auntie was like a second gran to me and i really want to do this for her but my head is just filled with negative thoughts that wont go away, i kno im setting myself up to fail but i havent got the confidence to believe that despite the anx i can do it. I think this is because i dont really know what to do wen im out and feel really panicky and cant get home, usually i find comfort in knowing i can go home and i'll calm down.
Arrrr am sooooo worried i'll panic, i'll feel awful if i dont go because of the anx but it seems easier than stressing constantly for the next couple of days and exposing myself to my worst nightmare.

Thanks for listening to me ramble! any advice would be much appreciated

[LindyF]

Don't worry, at the crem they usually have a small room next door that instead of going in with everyone else you could sit in and still hear the service without seeing the coffin. I had to do this a couple of times no one is ever offended everyone has their own way of dealing with grief, and funerals.

[maddie]

I agree with Lindy. Everyone handles grief their own way. No-one will be upset if you have to go outside.
You will feel anxious and upset - those are normal reactions we all feel at funerals. I am sure you will get through OK.