That which does not kill me...

[Zingara]

....makes me stronger. This saying seems to be everywhere at the moment. Is it just me that thinks it isn't true? I know that must sound negative, but I feel weakened, not strengthened, by all that I have been through. I feel that it is possible to survive a trauma, but never really be the same again... perhaps wiser, perhaps more compassionate, but weaker. In 'San Quentin', Johnny Cash sings 'And I'll walk out a wiser, weaker man.' That's kind of the feeling I'm talking about. I feel in some ways as though my suffering has expanded my outlook, made me more compassionate, less dogmatic, kinder and maybe even wiser, but it has also weakened me - parts of me have died along the way, even as other parts have come to life. But I was thinking about this saying, and I must say it does not ring true for me at all. How do others feel about this? I would really like to know.

[milly jones]

no hun

if we were weak wed give in

we are some of the strongest ppl tht exist

were diligent, loyal and true too

we will not let anx beat us

sometimes when ur down ud do anything to rid urself of this

but there are 1000000 of us. and most survive without doing anything daft.

i think that anx will not kill us, it makes us strong and durable.

i value ppl with anx, theyre tenacious, stubborn and work hard for what they want and who they care about

take care milly xx

[Anna C]

Hi Samira,

Every time I hear that expression, I think but what if it doesn't make you stronger what if you just keep plodding on, still trying to deal with your problems, and fighting your demons. None of the problems that I have been through, those caused by anxiety, or other things that have happened have left me feeling strong.
I do feel different, and I feel that I have learnt things because I have suffered from anxiety, I have coped with situations that I never thought was possible and still survived. Its just that I would like to be able to do a lot more than just survive.
I don't feel strong, sometimes I feel so tired and worn out just by my own thoughts. I feel more compassion for people and can emphasise with people more. I feel oversensitive not only for me but for other people. I get upset if I hear people in work being ridiculed or treated unfairly because I can really relate to how bad it would make me feel if they were doing it about me, I can actually feel it, if that makes sense.

Maybe when we at last beat this and get better, maybe thats when we will start to feel stronger. I hope so.

Take care Anna xx

[milly jones]

praps its how we view others with anx and not how we see ourselves?

another case of i know what to say and do, but i just cant do it myself.

at the moment i am feeling strong tho. i am achieveing things. but next week, well that may be different lol

milly xx

[Zingara]

Thank you both for your comments I feel very much like you Anna, that's pretty much what I was trying to say. I do know what you mean too Milly, I suppose in a way we're stronger than we realise... we have to be! xxx

[Zingara]

Glad you're feeling strong at the moment, Milly! You can be strong for both of us!! xxx

[xBettyBoopx]

Samira Hi

It's not true for everyone. I hate these so called sayings that once upon a time someone made up & then everyone thinks they are true. I certainly am physically & mentally weaker than I was, it's all stuff & nonsense

[ladybird64]

....makes me stronger. This saying seems to be everywhere at the moment. Is it just me that thinks it isn't true? I know that must sound negative, but I feel weakened, not strengthened, by all that I have been through. I feel that it is possible to survive a trauma, but never really be the same again... not perhaps wiser, perhaps more compassionate, but weaker. In 'San Quentin', Johnny Cash sings 'And I'll walk out a wiser, weaker man.' That's kind of the feeling I'm talking about. I feel in some ways as though my suffering has expanded my outlook, made me more compassionate, less dogmatic, kinder and maybe even wiser, but it has also weakened me - parts of me have died along the way, even as other parts have come to life. But I was thinking about this saying, and I must say it does not ring true for me at all. How do others feel about this? I would really like to know.

Hi Samira

This saying is my mantra. Yes, I have had what many have considered a "difficult life" (including my therapist) but all these difficulties have made me what I am today, hopefully I'm not too bad a person!
Compassion, kindness and wisdom are what you say you have gained, I hope that I have gained some of these qualities along the way (well, dunno about the wisdom!).
I have had terrible moments as I know many others have, including those where I honestly couldn't take any more and didn't want to wake up to face another day.
Bereavements, addictions, health problems have all reared their head in the past but I'm still here, against the odds. Yes, these problems have taken a big toll on me but somehow a submerged strength comes from nowhere and I cope. Not always brilliantly and I often feel that I lurch from one crisis to another, but I know that I will come out of it in the end.
I guess it depends on your view of strength and weakness but I honestly feel that if I can survive one crisis, I can survive another. I also hope that some of my experiences can be helpful to others and in my eyes the ability to show support and understanding to others, no matter what the circumstances is the greatest strength of all.
I have had some lovely support and kind words from people here who are fighting their own battles but they have spared time to help me..that's the kind of strength that I'm talking about.
Sorry for waffling, have been awake since 4am so I hope this makes sense!


Just adding this as a PS, I have re-read what I posted and have realised that I shouldn't post when I'm knackered.
I'm really sorry if I come across as being a pompous windbag, it really wasn't my intention to make it into a "me, me,me" post. Apologies again.

[marie1974]

hiya samira well for me its very true whether it be dep, anxiety, grief, debt, parents etc i have had probs with them all and each time makes me alittle stronger to fight on and learn lots and become wiser.

me at 19 is so different to me now at 34, i am a much nicer and better person but am strong enough through my experiences to pick myself up and carry on but better and in a much more confident and postive way. i think it makes u stronger in all ways really.

i think samira u r strong and sometimes facing fears and making changes is the hardest thing to do and we think the worst but once we have done or said wot we feel to be right then u will know in your heart that it was the right thing and u will be at peace with yourself. i know u have your probs with your parents and this has prob caused alot of your anxietys but u must always do wot u feel is right not wot anyone else thinks otherwise u will have a life time of regrets. i am the same and i have faced alot and still doing it now it can be done, u will be ok hun, u are a lovely person.

woo sorry i gone on abit totally off the subject haha never mind. hugs to u mate xxx

[Oceanblue]

Makes perfect sense to me Ladybird .

Samira - I understand what you're saying, though as you've described say - Johnny Cash, "walking out wiser, but a weaker man", can mean a whole lot depending on his own circumstances, he was describing his life at that moment/or those past moments/feelings, I feel that he was describing his sensitivity.

It's a poem, a song - I don't think it necessarily means that he feels 'Weak' as a person, but feel's broken by emotions and what life's thrown at him.

Unfortuately, life can be cruel,.. hard sometimes, and leaves us feeling broken because of things that we've been through.
I believe Anxiety is within everyone, everywhere, it's all caused by something and usually something to do with our past, we're all human and infact much more similar than we seem to think.

From what you've described saying that you've felt weakened, (I understand those horrible feelings),.. only I truly feel that you do become stronger when you've found your way out of this darkness. I think that maybe you should give yourself some more time and try not to feel guilty about the time you are taking to get yourself well.

Down the line, we come across hard times, and experience similar feelings, only I do believe we're able to deal with them much better than before.

I too have been through quite abit, luckily my life's going ok right now. Infact, i'm amazed that lifes been so kind to me right now lol. I have learnt so much, and I think and truly believe that this has made me a stronger person inside than I ever was before. Well, to be honest, I know it has.

I'm still in recovery,.. but I can now look back.

You will get there too Samira, promise x