Earlier this week, I made an appointment to see another ENT this time with the CD of the MRI I had done of my head for what I thought may have been a lump on the back of my head where they found some smalls cysts or polyps in my sinuses.




The ENT looked over the MRI CD, said there was a .001% chance they were cancerous. He also said I had a slight deviated septum, but that's nothing. He also did a nasal endoscopy, said my nasal passages looked perfect and my throat a little inflamed. He said, maybe from acid reflux. The problem with this is I feel like I may have fed the idea of it being acid reflux from the first ENT I saw, when I really wasn't sure if it was or not. Both ENT's I saw work under the same practice, so maybe he didn't want to go against her ruling/agreement w/ me or that would be bad for the practice or her reputation. I can't stop thinking about this or worrying because it's been about 2 weeks and my throat is still sore and seems like it's getting slightly worse. I still have a slight earache in both ears as well. I've also been taking the medications the first ENT gave me for acid reflux, a pill to take before every meal and a nasal spray to use twice daily.

I should also mention that I saw a gastroenterologist earlier the day I saw the ENT, I told him about my bowel movements and that I may have acid reflux or something, he just felt around my stomach a bit but said I should be fine. He said my blood work was too perfect for there to be anything wrong with me internally, and that blood work is a tell for a lot of issues. He didn't seem all too concerned with the acid reflux either. I asked him if he could check me somehow and he said there's no need. I also told him about the colonoscopy I'm getting [tomorrow] and he seemed so surprised that they were even letting me have one. He thinks my bowel movements are all anxiety related and that I should be taking medication for anxiety again. I know he's probably right about the anxiety thing but I can't help but feel as if I'm dying soon and that I may have some type of throat cancer or something and it's very scared. I can't stop feeling around my throat and feel like I may feel a small lump or a swollen lymph node or something. I really can't tell. It's been hard for me to envision a future for myself and for some reason I really feel like I may be dying and I've never felt this way before in my life. Has anyone else/does anyone else feel like they truly may be dying?


I also had a follow up appointment w/ a urologist I saw a few weeks before for groin pain and difficulty urinating. He asked me if I saw the surgeon he recommended I see for a hernia which he never told me. He informed me last time that I may have a slight hernia along w/ prostatitis which he gave me an antibiotic for and I took. I started urinating better and the groin pain mostly subsided. I asked him @ the visit how my urine looked and he said perfect. The nurse there told me my blood pressure was a little low and that scared me a lot. I really think I am dying now and soon.

I looked up the surgeon when I came home [he gave me the name] and the doctor had two malpractice suits. My mother decided to get me another appointment at another practice with another doctor for a second opinion on the hernia and if I need surgery. It's just really weird to me how all these health issues seemed to just fly at me out of nowhere and there's no logical conclusion to me other than the fact that I'm most likely dying soon, and probably of some type of cancer.




Tomorrow, I have my colonoscopy. Today, I prep. I'm hoping and praying that turns out ok, but I'm still scared of other cancers, especially with my throat. I know I'm only 22 years old, but getting cancer young isn't entirely impossible and I'm just really scared and worried. I don't want to die, but at the same time I know I'm not special or more important than anyone else.