Toilet phobia when travelling

[Chris23]

I've just joined here myself. I've recently had a bad anxiety and depression time, and have just started on Citalopram (first day today...bit hyper right now) but have been reading all around the forum to see what other people are struggling with, and this is one of mine even when I'm not clincally depressed.

I had to take the train every morning for an hour and a half into London for 4 years, every rush hour morning and evening, and every day was a nightmare of fear for having to use the loo. Recently trains have toilets pretty much all the time, but back in my day (only about 7 years ago) there would frequently be no toilet, or one that didn't work, or carriges that were so crowded I had to stand for the whole journey, while crushed between people.
I believe this experience contributed quite heavily to my phobia, as I would consistently be dying for the loo the whole journey, and never confident that I could hold it in. I have cried silently with the fear while standing there.

These days I can't even take the train, even though they have much better facilities, I have even turned down employment that might have helped my career just because of this problem.

I have bought a VW camper van that I now use all the time, as I now have a good excuse to drive around with a toilet always available. I also find that I can go places knowing that I have a loo not too far away, or at least within walking distance.

But I'm not really happy with the situation. It costs a bloody fortune in petrol and isn't really what I want to do.

i can understand totally were you are coming from, i know my phobia started with it a day after i had a heavy night out drinking with the lads we ended up going blackpool the following day and i got the runs that day, must of visited the toilets a few times there but the guys didnt clock on i can remember just praying to god that on the trip back down the motorway nothing happend, thankfuly nothing did but it stuck with me that fear into my job wear i worked on the door of a warehouse and i couldnt leave it unless i asked someone to take my spot, i guess i didnt like not being in control, thats why i can understand you having a camper its something i would get.

[DTR]

I have just joined this site and have the same problem. My husband is fantastic and when we are out together it's not a problem. I really panic when we go out with others or on holiday, we go skiing with friends and the transfer by coach is miserable as was biking round Europe with everyone. I joined this site as a last resort, I didn't realise others have the same problem! I've been trying to train myself to last out longer which has helped, but I'm off on holiday this weekend and can feel the panic building already

[ollie88]

I get this sweating panic and stomach cramps from this anxiety. Its rubbish must be a way out??? Try breathing it kinda helps.. if not try cbt ?

[AnxiousAnnie18]

I have this problem too, but not just when I'm travelling but all the time going anywhere outside my house. It's miserable & I have and still am missing out on so many things I want to do :( I have even recently caused myself to have piles at the age of 18 due to panic and straining on the loo! When I do eventually pluck up the courage to do things and go places it's always an agonising experience, I'm always clocking where the toilets are and worrying about it (which then makes you need to go anyway!) and I can never enjoy myself or relax and that leads me to think what's the point in doing these things if it's going to make me feel like this? It's so frustrating and upsetting but nobody seems to understand the severity of it!

[Eddysiu]

Happygolucky - I am also a victim of toilet phobia for almost 7-8 years. I've tried cbt from a clinical psychologist, medications from psychiatrist and personally I don't think medication works for me anyway. Cbt is somewhat difficult to start with yet the theory is easy to understand. It's the fear for fear that causes the panic but not the physical need itself. I once read a line which helps me quite a bit. "the urge for urination is not the need for urination". Try timing yourself in a safe zone of yourself, and reinforcing yourself that even when you have the urge, you still can hold for a certain period of time before the need is coming. It takes quite a while for practicing before you build up your confidence. The same way you can feel and understand yourself a bit more, so as to lessen your chances of panicking.

By the way, I've recently came across with the program called "PanicAway" which I think is quite helpful for me. You can practice it on yourself without anyone involving.

It's always nice to know you are not the only and last victim on earth with this situation. We shouldn't called ourselves victim actually, for anxiety is not harmful to us.

[PhantomPain]

I have had this problem for the past 8 years. They say its OCD. Medication helps after taking for an extensive period of time. DO NOT AVOID DOING WHAT CAUSES YOU THESE THOUGHTS. If you avoid the trips or take safety measures you will just feed your anxeity. The only way to completely turn this around is by facing it. This is what therapists will tell you after years of your struggle.

[jcd_gad]

Sorry,

Just had to share this... I used to work away on overseas sites as a civilian contractor... Anyway, one site had problems with its mil personnel misusing the toilets... Solution? Take away all the toilet doors, so you had to sit there in full view of all the other guys walking past :(

Too much even for me :(

[Inthebushes]

I have the exact same problem. I struggle to take my dog for a walk without it happening. I am currently receiving CBT and had 14 sessions but it is not going to work. I practice everything I am being taught but still can't stop my mind from thinking the worst. I had attempted to end my life a few years ago as I believed I was being selfish and holding my girlfriend back from life itself. I managed to hide it from a lot of people including my 2 kids, if I had to travel, holidays and on a train I get Valium from my doctor to knock me out and sleep the whole journey. I haven't been on a bus for easy 10 years. I am currently looking for the next step of help after CBT, even jokingly looked to see if there was like a modern day labotomy thing I could get done.... the hardest part of it all for me is the lead up to having to go out, that dictates whether my dog is getting a 30 min workout or a good 10-20miles. If before I go out and have the what if thought and I feel the stomach churn then I KNOW I'm going to need to go but if I was to stay inside I wouldn't feel the need till the next day at least but if I do go out and manage to make it to the woods I will have a 50/50 chance I'm doing the loo outside. I have had to do it so much I have tissues and wet wipes in my rucksack which goes everywhere with me. I have been with my girlfriend for just over 20 years now and am astounded she has stayed through all this, I did suggest she just sever all ties with me and go live the life she deserves but she just won't do it! even though I have told her the CBT isn't going to work but she sees all the work I put into it and still has hope, we are both in our late thirties. I see no light at the end of the tunnel for me anymore