Hello, I have not posted on here for years but I didn't know where else to come. Any advice would help please if anyone has had a similar problem?
My anixety/depression has been gradually getting worse over the past year especially around alcohol, drunk people and sex with my partner.
I don't drink much anymore so I find it quite distressing being in pubs and I get frightened.
My partner can be very moody if I don't feel like sex, when he does this I cannot stand to be near him, I feel like I actually hate him when he does that. (I have a stressful job and get very tired and am waiting for test to check my thyroid and blood sugars to see if this is a problem) Anyway when he does this
my entire body goes tense and no matter how exhausted I am suddenly I feel extremely angry and anxious and cannot sleep. I just want to get away so instead of talking with him I leave. I've tried explaining before that it upsets me but he still is doing it.
I know the real reason I have a problem is because I was raped in my sleep on a campsite when I was drunk (hence my issues with alcohol) this was 7 years ago, I only told my mum about it this morning, she says I have PTSD and things are acting as triggers for what happened.
I don't know whether I should tell my boyfriend or not? I know he is paranoid that he is the problem and maybe it would help him to understand, but I'm frightened he will not believe me or think it's my fault.
I don't even know how I would tell him? :-( but if I don't and he keeps being moody with me it will ruin our relationship if it hasn't already I'm still feeling furious