What has suddenly changed, feel awful!

[seh1980]

hi Mark,

I was on Cipralex and I remember having a bit of a blip after a month or so - could be what you are having now..

Good luck with the breathing exercises - hope you feel better soon!!

Sarah

[mjh74]

Ahhh Sarah thanks so much for that. I have started it quite a bit slower than others seem to so I think I could be having what you've mentioned now. Thanks a lot for that, this is all good ammo when I'm trying to justify it all!


Mark xx

[sal]

Hi Mark

Pleased your friend still came over. It could be the meds but that will take time for you to see if it is them. If it is they will wear down the side affects and i know whilist going through them can be hell.

If you want to talk pm and i will help you all i can.

You have done so well recently and i would hold on to the fact that this is a bad blip and you will come out of it a lot stronger with our support and your positive attitude.

Love Sal xx


Dont mess up the best things in your life, just because at present you are unsure who you are.

[mjh74]

Hi Sal,

Thanks for your replyand your kind offer. Today has been a bit better compared to the past couple of days. I feel a real hefty lump in my throat today though and am feeling quite tired through having to work at feeling "ok". I hope this is going to get more bearable over time. I just feel scared and ill a lot of the time and have done for what seems like so long now. Surely I should get some relief one day. I can't go through this for the rest of my life, something has to happen.

Regards,

Mark x

[Meg]

Mark,

It is tiring, scary and you will get very fed up but do perservere.

If you're still unconvinced its muscular as opposed to something else do try the valium test again .

As you learn to manage and then ignore it - it will dissipate naturally and go.

Meg
www.anxietymanagementltd.com

Watch your thoughts, they become your words...
Watch your words, they become your actions... Watch your actions, they become your habits... Watch your habits, they become your character... Watch your character, it becomes your destiny...

[mjh74]

Hi Meg,

It's definitely muscular because I generate it and can feel myself actually bringing it on. This only happens now if I'm having a really bad day and it doesn't last all day but does make my whole gullet and back ache.

One of my main symptoms is the fear of speaking and how it makes my throat feel which leads to the want to keep swallowing and working my tongue at the back of my throat. Even though I'm sipping water I still have a very dry mouth with the meds so I end up not being able to carry out a swallow at some point. This in-turn makes me feel scared and above my Adams apple feels tight and sticky through the quick successive swallowing until I feel like gagging. If I am brave enough I can break out of it before it turns into a panic attack.

I've never had such a sensitive anixety point Meg. About 10 years ago if I had any sign of anxiety I would either get knotting in my abdomen and have periods of IBS or I would have terrible gas and feel nauseous but I was always able to cope and control them. Any little thing that would and does trigger anxiety now hits my throat instantly and leaves me feeling powerless against it (at this present moment in time).

Today has been a funny one, I wanted to go out to take some stuff to the tip but when it came to it, I just couldn't go and created myself a dull aching lump under my Adams and my whole gullet tightened which made me feel terrible. I've been doing my breathing exercises today which has helped hugely but I had a point a bit earlier where I felt so ill with the pain in my chest and back. This seemed to phase out at about 8pm and I've felt different again for the past 4 hours!

This is definitely my hardest time in life to date without question. I am also starting to feel quite uneasy about my CBT assessment next Tuesday so I guess this could be playing a part too.


Mark

[Johnny]

Hi Mark,

I had my initial consultation for hypnotherapy last week (kinda like your upcoming assesment for CBT - treatment is similar) and I was really nervous about it, but afterward I felt really positive it will help me, and that afternoon was the best I've felt in months !
It'a a big positive step, and your panic will try and fight it because it realises it's grip on you is short lived now !
Look forward to the assesment, don't fear it - it's another big step to recovery.

Johnny.

[mjh74]

Hi Johnny,

Thanks for that. I am trying to tell myself that they're there to help me and I'm sure they've seen plenty of people that are really anxious! I just don't want to embarrass myself .

Mark

[Chant]

Bon voyage!!