A significant personal change of events caused me to get panic attacks a few years ago, within 5 months of this happening I started to develop a fear of swallowing food - I don't think a choking incident caused it, it was the onslaught of panic attacks that kept my throat 'tense'.
Fast forward over two years, and every single day, I have not been able to eat a meal or drink ANY drink subconciously. Every single mouthful of food and water, my body has perceived as a threat, 'i'm going to choke on this, I can't swallow'.
So what is my coping strategy? I get drunk if I have to eat out, as it's the only thing that will cure it - most of the time. Sometimes I will get odd looks as I take longer than everybody else to finish my meals (if I do, I almost always never finish a meal).
I never go out to eat now if I can help it and even at home, even on my own, I can't even eat a bowl of soup without getting some of it either next to my plate, or on my clothes, or around my mouth - it's even worse than a baby - at least it makes me feel that way.
I have not had any anti-depressants, even though in my circumstances I more than qualify as a candidate.
Has anybody found that taking anti-depressants alone has got them back to their usual swallowing routine? (no innuendo intended)
It is the one symptom besides agoraphobia and panic that truly is destroying my quality of life, and self-confidence in myself. I mean, I can't exactly go on a date with somebody like this.
Sorry for the rant, it's very hard to find empathy around my family as they haven't ever had this issue - to be honest if somebody had told me they were 'scared to eat' 5 years ago, I would have laughed.
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