I was on here a few years back, maybe even 9 or 10 but can't remember my old username.

During that time I suffered from really bad panic attacks, slowly worked myself in to a pattern of sleeping during the day (because I knew other people were awake in case anything went wrong) and eventually walked out of my job, leaving me unemployed for 2 years, pretty much unable to leave the house and only eating about 3 different things.

Anyway, one day, one of my friends said to me that I should come and do a few days work at the place he worked at to help him out and I ended up working there for a couple of years before realising I was basically alright most of the time, having just met a girl and I decided to move 30 miles away for 6 grand a year more and a relationship.

That all went fine until my new boss turned out to be some kind of closet bully and practically told me I was useless and suggested self help books (very helpful) needless to say I left and found something else in the same area, when the panic attacks started again.

During this time, it got really bad again, her mates would come round and I'd get half way through an evening, realise there was 10 people on my house, have a meltdown and go to bed, while they all sat there thinking I was an a*se, then they eventually got bored with us (me) and we all had a massive argument and never spoke again.

Then that company started losing money so I jumped ship and moved back towards home, with the girl, on to a new job (which I still do, despite having moved location to somewhere else, left the company and come back)

So me and the girl got married, moved house, learnt to snowboard, went on two snowboarding holidays on a plane (!) and all that happened without a hint of panic.

My wedding day was the calmest I've ever been, the honeymoon was in the U.K. as I wasn't ready to fly but I went to see some touchy-feely weirdo magiciany type and all my fears about being a passenger went away, like an actual mirace.

It even allowed me to do things I would never have even considered before like be a passenger in a proper racing car, an experience which I would have previously declined and regretted forever.

Anyway, on the face of it, everything is fixed, I've not had a panic attack for about 6 years, I can remember as clear as anything where I was, what happened and how it felt but I know I've not had one since that day.

Unfortunately, the marriage went belly up, after about a year of arguing more than being happy, I did something I shouldn't have done and threw 9 years of my life away, lost a not insignificant amount of money in a house sale/split and am currently shacked up in my sisters dining room, with no money until the house sale is finalised and the equity is split.

With all that's going on at the moment, still no panic attacks!

There's still some anxiety, I have no self confidence as I've put on loads of weight and look old, it's easy to put a show on for the internet and come across as full of myself but I'm the total opposite but I'm willing to take the positive from it, I remember how debilitating the panic attacks were, not just for me but for family, friends and my ex wife and I'm glad to say to anyone on here that they do get better, the impact on you lessens and eventually, they can go away!