Another difficult time

[alexis]

I am sure you will all agree some times of the year are harder than others.
i know for a fact a couple of my friends are struggling at the moment.
I am finding this week very hard and emotional, BUT I know i am better than this time last year, perhaps that is why it is harder because this time last year I didnt really care about anything but I do now, I care about getting over this anxiety and depression, and other things,I care about getting my life back so why is it its always the same things that cause a problem.Why cant i just get over it and get on.pull myself together!!
Tomorrow I finish work for my holidays and instead of thinking about the holiday away I have got and all the other things in between, which I couldnt do I am thinking about a few hours tomorrow night when people will be out and about for a drink and a meal to celebrate the start of the holiday and I will be sat at home.thinking about it being a year since my last and really first MAJOR panic.I wont be wallowing in self pity,(I hope) I will be relieved I havent gone but part of me also tells me to go because I want to. i dont think I will ever get back to the bubbly outgoing person I was and this bothers me.
I think it is because Ive had a busy week again that I feel like this but some day life has to get back to what it was.
The support from the people on this site especially on msn and pms is wonderful and I am convinced that is why I am as good as I am today. Just need to sleep and get less "what ifs" and fast pounding hearts now, Love Alexis,xx

[Sax]

Hi Alexis,

I really don't know what to say except I'm sorry you are having such a hard time at the moment. I do hope it improves for you soon.

I also would like to say it was so lovely to meet you the other night in chat, thank you for talking to me, it meant a lot and i hope to do so again very soon.

take care

Sax[:I] BTW i also wish i could sleep and stop thinking about the 'what ifs' hence the time of this post!

[Piglet]

Hi Alexis

Sorry you are feeling a bit pants at the mo.

It does seem to come in spells though doesn't it - just ride it out kid!

Love Piglet

[seh1980]

hey Alexis,

Try to stay positive and think about how much better you will be feeling at this time next year..

Sarah

"Life is too important to take seriously" Corky Siegal

[carlin]

hello Alexis,
sorry you are feeling down right now, i know how you feel with the holidays approaching, different routines, times and a different structure to the day, i believe we get used to our usual daily routines and any change takes a little bit of adjusting to. you have done so well recently, it is hard work but as you say a year ago, you didn't feel anything, so the improvement has been enormous.I also understand how you feel about 'everyone' else going out to celebrate? whilst here we are again stuck at home, is there any chance that you could go at the last minute, or just for a short time? if not Alexis, so be it. I can't remember the last social engagement i accepted, but i still do things on the spur of the moment, no planning, i find that a lot easier, cos you don't feel you are letting anyone down, and if you don't go it does not matter. You have had a very busy year, spoil yourself, rest, sleep pamper yourself for a change, sorry to have gone on, but i do really understand what you are going through xxxxxx

[henri]

hey alexis,
i'm sorry you're feeling blue, we've all been there and it can be so frustrating.
but it sounds like you have made some really good progress!
i have the same thing about social engagements. i find i'm much more likely to go out and be 'myself' if it's a last minute thing. if it's something i've been planning for ages, i end up either not going or being so wound up by the time i get there, i have to leave after about half an hour.
you are bound to make more progress - i think you should print out this post so you can re-read it in a year's time!
take care,
henri x

[sal]

Hi Alexis

Sorry you are not having a good week, i am here if you want to talk.

Dont forget to get yourself into the pub and mix with us nutters, well especially Kairen.

Love Sal xx


Dont mess up the best things in your life, just because at present you are unsure who you are.

[alexis]

Sniffing Jif in cupboard Sal, love Alexis,x

[kairen]

Alexis you know hun, when i picked you up at station, and after we had got over the lets have a sneaky look at her out the corner of my eye stage LOL, and we went and sat outside the pub, just think back to that moment as you said you felt like you were on your holidays and were so relaxed Alexis for that weekend you were that lovely lovely bubbly person, we laughed so much especially when we were in the forum pub, so you see you still are that bubbly person you just need to let it out more, but lets put it this way a year ago you wouldnt have considered coming all the way up here and stopping with a mad woman and her wild children, so just think of how far you have come not how far you have to go,

you know i luv you bubbly, grumpy, or just plain barking xxx

kairen x

[nomorepanic]

Alexis

I know this week has been hard for you so I am sending you lots of Positive vibes.

Be kind to yourself tonight and don't worry too much about it ok.

I think a few of us have had one of those weeks but next week is a new start.

I am here if you need to chat etc otherwise I will just keep PM'ing you lol.

Hope piggy is looking after you well.
xxx

Nicola

"Nearly all happiness comes into our lives through doors we don't even remember leaving open"