Hi all. i'm at an all time low with anxiety and what seems to be OCD now. my mind is endlessly filled with horrific thoughts about something terrible happening to my loved ones, especially those closest to me. anything is a trigger, i now associate anything and everything with something to do with death, e.g i hear the word cold, lifeless, asleep, and i instantly have visions of my loved ones in a bad state. these horrible images only applied to a single family member about a two months ago, but then suddenly after a panic attack during the night they have become about another family member. i now just essentially don't sleep, even the thought of sleeping scares me. the worst part is even when i hear my loved ones speaking to me my subconscious actively searches for something horrible about death to tie in with whatever they say. i've tried all sorts of methods to stop myself from thinking these thoughts but nothing works, and i'm at breaking point. i've been lightly self harming when the panic gets too great by hitting my head to try and get the thoughts away. i feel utterly insane. i've had a history of anxiety, but that was always about my health, and never about anyone else. i wish so much that this was health anxiety about me instead of my family members. i can't keep on living like this. i don't know what to do and am scared of being like this forever.