day 12 - strange couple of days

[k1]

Yesterday was a bit strange - I felt I had energy, a positive mind, I went to work and was laughing and joking, talkative and confident. A bit hyper really. Like I had taken some speed - if that makes any sense! I bloody hate my job, its physical work and normally after a 10 hour day I'm shattered, and miserable. But all evening I just couldn't sit still and was chatty and sat and wrote a poem (never done that in my life!) And felt really happy and positive.. and didn't get to sleep until about 4am!

Foggy head for the last few days, feel like im in my own bubble. Appetite has returned and sicky feeling has gone, so that is good. Ive lost an awful lot of weight!

Shakey today but with weird energy, like I cant concentrate to do anything productive.. pacing, tapping and quite jittery. Really not keen on going out of the house, or dealing with people. Wish I could wear a balaclava on the school run so I dont have to chat to any mums!

Ive been on Cit for 12 days now, and the first week I had diazepam (wish I had more!) mostly because I was so ill from the prozac - a total anxious wreck.

WIDE AWAKE and its 4am - not getting enough sleeeeeep!!! This has been a few days now, I just cant sleep!

Im worried now, on the first 2 weeks of prozac I had similar, a couple of really good (strange) days.. but then went into some sort of madness.. I thought my head was actually going to explode..every sidefect possible hit me and I really did flip! That;s why im now on the Cit. Seems silly to be worried about feeling a bit 'better', but I am.

I have read about bi-polar disorder and how it can create huge mood changes if you take anti deps. Now Im worried I have that?

Need to be up for 6am... http://www.nomorepanic.co.uk/images/...scared0015.gif

Doctors apt tomorrow. Any suggestions for asking for something to help me sleep? Or what? I need to sleep, I need to function and get the kids to school etc (Im a single mum)

I would like more diazepam, but I probs wont ask for more, it zonks me out (but I like it) and I know its addictive stuff.. I can see why

Well, just needed to get it off my chest. Worrying over worrying over everything..

Hope everyone is well

[Marty_67]

Hi K1, hope today goes well for you at quacks.

Your body will take a while to adjust to the Cit, as posted earlier my sleeping was awful in the early days.

My energy levels used to spike too...all over the shop. I did stick with it and I am so glad I did.

Keep going mate

Marty

[k1]

Thanks Marty..

Sometimes its just good to get things off your chest!!

Docs went well, he has given me sleeping pills for at night..

But he has questioned that I may be bi-polar? oh lord, another thing to worry over!

taken the kids to tennis, ice-creams, and park - as much as I dont want to I feel that I can. Its kinda hard a a single parent, with nobody very close.

Day by day..

Thank you again for your reply..

[Marty_67]

Nice to meet you K1, I know it's hard but you must keep going.

Sounds like you have a busy life! Use that to your advantage, keep busy - it really helps.

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