Obsessive online friend

[melishaxoxo]

So last year around this time I was part of a depression group on fb and I met a few nice people there whom I shared my story to and they did same. I met a girl there and she added me on fb. I thought she was sweet at first and always willing to listen to my problems and I did the same for her. But overtime I feel she's become obsessed with me. She messages me every single day and if I don't respond she messages again and asks someone about me. She also likes and comments on everything I post and she calls me her best friend. I'm not her best friend and I feel that because she doesn't have a job, she sits at home with her bf playing video games all day and texts me. She's even now tried to follow my Instagram and I've since not accepted her request. I mean I'm ok talking to her once or twice a week but not everyday. I've never met her in person and she's from another country. It's just become irritating when all I want is to be left alone. I don't go log onto fb because of her but as soon as she sees me online or posting something she inboxes me. I don't know what to do about this. Anybody had any similar experience?

[Bigboyuk]

So last year around this time I was part of a depression group on fb and I met a few nice people there whom I shared my story to and they did same. I met a girl there and she added me on fb. I thought she was sweet at first and always willing to listen to my problems and I did the same for her. But overtime I feel she's become obsessed with me. She messages me every single day and if I don't respond she messages again and asks someone about me. She also likes and comments on everything I post and she calls me her best friend. I'm not her best friend and I feel that because she doesn't have a job, she sits at home with her bf playing video games all day and texts me. She's even now tried to follow my Instagram and I've since not accepted her request. I mean I'm ok talking to her once or twice a week but not everyday. I've never met her in person and she's from another country. It's just become irritating when all I want is to be left alone. I don't go log onto fb because of her but as soon as she sees me online or posting something she inboxes me. I don't know what to do about this. Anybody had any similar experience?

Hi I can relate to this, for me I think it was both ways with the friend I made it's was very over powering as at first I couldn't keep up with their messages but it tailed off to a reasonable level but then I became OTT and when I wasnt getting instant responses back all sorts of irrational thoughts was bombarding me, but like I said earlier it was happening both ways when we first met. So can see it from both sides. I think this person you know is very lonely and while it's over powering you with her constant messaging you is driving you away, if you do like her make it clear politely that you aren't on every day and you do like her etc but you need a bit of space. I made the wrong mistakes and ended up being hurt, lost all contact with this person who I thought a lot off. HTH Cheers

[Bee84]

She's probably assuming that you're just as lonely as she is. It's not fair that's she's gone ahead and decided a best friend status without asking if you felt the same. Sounds like she needs female friendship because of the frustrating boyfriend situation.

It may sound ideal to some lonely people and innocent but she's using you to fulfill a void so its not healthy. Its not right to keep it going when you don't mean it. You gotta say goodbye this time... Then just absolutely drop all contact and be a ghost.

[Bigboyuk]

She's probably assuming that you're just as lonely as she is. It's not fair that's she's gone ahead and decided a best friend status without asking if you felt the same. Sounds like she needs female friendship because of the frustrating boyfriend situation.

It may sound ideal to some lonely people and innocent but she's using you to fulfill a void so its not healthy. Its not right to keep it going when you don't mean it. You gotta say goodbye this time... Then just absolutely drop all contact and be a ghost.

Think you are right but think if the OP does like and get on with her then create boundaires wish my past onlne friend had suggested that we probably would have still been friends we even met twice too so makes it's all the harder to accept they have gone. If the op doesn't get on with her atall, then cut all ties. Cheers

[Bee84]

Think you are right but think if the OP does like and get on with her then create boundaires wish my past onlne friend had suggested that we probably would have still been friends we even met twice too so makes it's all the harder to accept they have gone. If the op doesn't get on with her atall, then cut all ties. Cheers

That's true. It's been one way communication. Melishaxoxo, maybe a heart to heart could change things? Setting limits on time like you said. Or else abandon ship if it's toxic.

[Bigboyuk]

That's true. It's been one way communication. Melishaxoxo, maybe a heart to heart could change things? Setting limits on time like you said. Or else abandon ship if it's toxic.

Think also the other girl should talk to her BF too, he isn't spending any time with her, only on his games this sucks she deserves better it's like when I had more friends at least we had a good night out, and the mobiles didn't take over if that had of happened I would have been gone wooosh out of here. Cant see the point in that oh I am now chatting to xyz Get a life saw 2 guys having coffee the other day not once did they speak or look at each other only to show each other what was on their phones ahh. Sorry a bit of rant there! Think now its time to sort it out so Melishaxoxo its over to you

[akb]

If she has a bf, she shouldn't be using you. This
may seem harsh, but I'd just block her

[Bigboyuk]

If she has a bf, she shouldn't be using you. This
may seem harsh, but I'd just block her

Hi Don't think she is using the op, she is very lonely cause all her BF want to do is play electronic games all the time I know my self what 'real' loneliness feels like, so while I respect your comments Think you may be wrong in your assumption on this girl Cheers

[Bee84]

When I felt so desperate to talk at age 9-11, I used to call my then friend every single day after school like a robot, which looking back, must have been a major situation on her side. But no one on her end ever told me to call less frequently. Another friends dad finally snapped at me to stop calling when I called approx. 5 times to check she'd come home. I kinda got it then!

I can understand that desperation for a friend that she has from my child perspective. She literally feels like she has no one. She is a grown woman though. But she absolutely needs to be told how to behave appropriately. Blocking would work very well, but like most relationships in life, it may have been able to have been sorted through simple, honest and direct conversation.

[Fishmanpa]

Reading the responses, I find I echo them. It really comes down to two choices, both of which should yield a result. A straight up heart to heart and honesty and if that doesn't work, ghosting and blocking.

I had a somewhat similar situation many years ago and that's what I did.

Positive thoughts