I feel like just dying sometimes

[AprilV]

I am 15 and since I got diagnosed a while back I have been posting a lot of threads and such about my endless stream of worries and symptoms. I have been obsessing particularly over my doomsday/apocalypse phobia which I cannot stop persistently thinking about recently, especially on a night.

It gets so bad during some points that I feel like I just want to die, its a morbid thought to say the least. I get this thought like "If I'm going to spend my life worrying about something like this, I may as well end it now" or "If it were to happen I cannot bear to think of all the suffering, I just want to die now to get it over with" THESE THOUGHTS ARE SCARING ME! I don't really want to die, but part of me feels almost numb to death, I feel accepting of it, yet I just hate the thought of some big catastrophe happening that will end life on Earth as I know it...I just wish I wasn't afraid of such uncontrollable things.

[Dan Wales]

You need to try to distract your mind. We all have fears and worries. The changes off anything happening to the Earth is slim. Your not alone here.

[Oosh]

Try and focus on different things. As I've gotten older I have become so much less tolerant of nonsense, time wasting, depressing, anxiety provoking topics of thoughts. I don't have to think about those things.
I get the thought then feel my mood respond negatively and whereas in the past I'll feel compelled to think about that thing, now I recognise they're useless and put me in a rubbish mood so just think "oh get lost" and think about more enjoyable productive things.

Realise that you have control of what you focus on.

Or... Practice seeing the same things in a different way. In a way that makes you FEEL better about it. It takes practice and you might have to look at things in a few different ways before finding a better way to see it but it's a good habit to get into. It means you become used to having disturbing thoughts but then automatically deal with it in these ways to make it harmless to you. Whereas it sounds like at the moment you don't have anything like that in place so are at the mercy of these ideas when they come.

A catastrophic event is very low on my list of fears. There would be no pain, no suffering, you wouldn't even be consciously aware of anything. Sounds perfect. I can't be scared of something that wouldn't hurt or that I wouldn't even know about. Just don't think about it. There are a trillion of these kind of thoughts. They are a waste of energy. Think about things that make you feel better.