Well, CBT session 2 today. Started off rather badly...apart from the pshyching myself up thing to get out the door, accompanied by mother, off we go, 1.5 mile drive...ok I can do this...had the obligatory ciggie en-route to calm the nerves...opened car window....damm thing wouldn't go back up again!! Had to leave poor mum sat outside in car, window firmly refusing to budge, amidst the urban jungle. So I worry about her, the car, the CBT...arrived for therapy a quivering wreck in floods of tears

She calms me and we discuss....we talk about what happened last week, discuss my panic diary, fill in lots of questionaires, discuss some more....talk about fight or flight and she also mentions 'freeze' (I have never heard about this before), avoidance, thoughts, feeelings, body reactions...how we will approach exposure therapy....then she tells me that she believes my anxiety is caused by a traumatic event experienced about 7 yrs ago....hmmm, I did wonder about that...and the fact that I may be genetically pre-disposed to anxiety...to do with my past/upbringing/family traits etc. and then she says I surpress my emotions.....this woman has possibly got me well sussed already...Interesting about the emotional thing, my doctor once said I was a 'Vulcan' so there must be some logic there somewhere captain!!

All in all, after a shakey start, the jigsaw puzzle that is me may finally be able to be put together.....I remain as ever, optimistic. Very interesting stuff and can't wait for next session, assuming the car window is fixed before then lol....

Thanks for reading. Kitti