Fear of parents dying

[joanne30]

Hi, I have a fear of my parents dying. I have always been very close to them. I haven't got any friends. I still live at home with them. I don't have a job and I have zero self-confidence. I don't go out at all really. I suppose you could say I rely on them too much. They both aren't very well at all, my mum has a serious blood condition and my dad has cancer. They're both in their sixties. I know nobody lives forever, but the thought of them dying really upsets me. I have an older sister, but we don't get on so I suppose I'll be on my own in the future. Which upsets me.

I hope I make Sense.

joanne30.

[blue moon]

Hello joanneI have 2 sons and 1 mention to me other day that he has fear of myself and father dying and what would become of him,he does not live at home,he live in another state,but often come home I tell him he must think about it then let it go we are all going to die sometime and I hope he can move on from these negative thoughts,they are common thoughts in all people it just some of us deal with it better.Your future Will be bright it is up to you my dear on how you deal the hand of cards that was dealt to you.try and be friends with your sister,I lost mine years ago in Iran we were not on speaking terms when she was killed,I have to live with that every day.Try and put these thoughts of dying in a box and through in bin.I am here if need me.
Love Petra xx

[Bill]

Hello Joanne

I suppose I'll be on my own in the future.

Don't assume. Why should a beautiful woman like yourself ever be alone in the future? Because of anxiety? Anxiety doesn't make you any less attractive. After all, lots of women And blokes suffer exactly the same as you so Lots of people will understand how you feel so how can you Ever be left on your own?

Before I lost my parents I had exactly the same fear as you. I was the last offspring left at home and I feared being left without them. When the time came I had to be here for them and I must admit that without them I do still feel alone But I cope, and my situation is different to yours. You are free. You have time to pick and choose, and to make a plan. Don't let anxiety hold you back because I am absolutely certain there are those out there who feel just like you who are thinking exactly the same fears, who are just waiting to find someone like you. Keep searching for what you need and don't assume what you fear will happen because life rarely pans out as we expect. As I say, a beautiful woman like you can't possibly ever be left on your own.

[Connor_cbt]

Hi Joanne,
I think most people have that thought cross their mind at some point in their lives, even people with a fairly healthy state of mind. The difference being our anxious condition causes us to latch on to the negative thought and amplify it. Our meticulous imaginations play out the scenario as if it has already happened and we picture ourselves failin to cope in catastrophic ways. The truth is, as sad as it is, we all learn to cope and eventually life returns to some kind of normality as time passes.
The real tragedy about our condition is that our fixations on the future and/or the past is ruining the time we have NOW so please try not to worry about the future and enjoy all the time you have with them

[macc noodle]

Joanne

I think we all fear this scenario but the sad fact is that there is an inevitabilty (provided we are lucky enough) to outlive our parents - it is just the natural order of things.

We should enjoy the time we have with them now and not over worry about what will/may happen in the future.

Honey, you also need to try and get some more help with your issues - I know that you posted that your psych had signed you off because you did not want to be helped but I am sure that cannot be true.

Why not go back to your GP and see what other help is available.

xx

[joanne30]

Thank you so much for your kind words. Bill you're such an inspiration to me. You definately know how to make someone feel good about themselves.
I'm feeling very down at the moment, with all that's going on in my life.

[Bill]

Hello Joanne
My only wish is to try and help you smile, to never give up on hope and to realise just how valuable you are because no matter how anxiety makes you feel about yourself, nothing can ever change the precious jewel that you are so never stop sparkling because a sparkle such as yours will never be overlooked. You just need to emit your glow so others can find you to help you not to fear being alone because a beauty such as yours should never be left hidden away feeling such sadness.

I don't like anyone feeling alone and sad, especially when they're special. I hope the following gives you a smile Joanne. This is for you.


A beautiful rose in need

A beautiful rose swaying in the warm breeze,
Her petals glisten surrounded by hovering honeybees,
Attracted to her lure, by her sweet scented pollen so pure,
Blown on the summers air, from a pristine rose so rare,

Protected by her thorns, she stands alone safe from harm,
Yet wanting to be held and loved, she still emits her charm,
Afraid of being picked, to be left and discarded,
Her army of comforting bees ensure she is guarded,

Standing in solitude in her garden of high fences,
With the hot sun bearing down creating duress,
Waiting for relief from a cloudburst of rain,
To freshen her glossy leaves to ease her pain,

This attractive rose so trapped and in need,
That should be loved and cherished so that she may be free,
For all her many virtues and glowing sincerity,
No rose deserves more for her kindness and empathy.

[Worriedgirl87]

This is really sad I'm sorry you are going through this.

What type of blood infection does your mom have?
I'm sorry to hear about your dad.

I love my dad very much and I can't imagine losing him. It's too hard to think about.

Just try to not think about these thoughts.

I'm very scared of losing my parents, my mom was sick a few times and almost died so I though I almost lost her and I don't know how I would live without her! :(

Life is hard. Remember that..

[Granny Primark]

I always had a fear of my mum dying. Her sisters both died young and very suddenly. One died aged 25 and the other 42.
Sure enough one morning at 5am on March the 15th 1984 I got the dreaded phone call. She had died suddenly. She was 60.
I lost my best friend that day.
However I talked to her all the time after shed died. (still do)
I asked her to ask God for a baby for us. We had one child (a boy) age 9 and we thought it was impossible for us to have anymore.
She must have been listening to me cus in 1985 I had adaughter that we named after my mum.
I miss my mum so much but I really do feel that if im struggling I can talk to her and she helps me.