Worst panic for a long time :(

[Snoodlester]

I didn't feel great yesterday, but assumed it was anxiety as I was at home on my own all day. However during the evening I did feel a slight panic, which I managed to somehow 'ignore'.

Today my parents wanted to go out and do some shopping, so I said I'd go with them. I felt a bit apprehensive, but (stupidly from what I've read recently) took a few precautions, had my bottle of water, Rescue Remedy, throat sweet, etc. When we came to a road I particularly don't like - a flyover a motorway with traffic lights - of course the lights were on red. I've done this journey quite a few times in recent months and was able to just go with the flow and feel fine, I actually felt like I was overcoming my travelling fear. But today, boom, I had a panic attack. It was particularly nasty, and one of the worse ones I can remember - my hands were trembling, my whole body shook, sweating, heart pounding... What I really wanted to do was get out of the car asap, but there would be nowhere to go, apart from head on into traffic. So rather than try to stay in the moment, I distracted myself with my iPod. When the lights changed and we moved on, I started to feel better, but it took a while for me to feel ok again.

I don't know if this is stupid or not, but I tried not to let my parents know at the time - although they obviously did. When we got back home I said to mum, thank God that's over. She said, yes I thought you were agitated. I felt like bursting into tears, but again fought this off rather show her how much it had affected me.

It's really getting me down now, I've been extremely unwell since end of February, and had my medication switched to Mirt and gradually upped to 45mg. I've tried to give it a go, but I'm really not sure this medication's helping me, or if in fact it's causing more anxiety/panic.

I've been given Zopiclone to help me get through the nights. I don't want to take them, but I would be extremely distressed if I didn't. The longest I've taken them is a week, when I tried to go the 8th night without it, but I got so anxious and felt so rubbish the next day, I went back on them again. I was planning not to take one tonight, but after today's experience, I don't think I've got much choice.

[shakey1961]

For what it's worth, I have a fear of going up hills. I have this irrational fear that the car is going to slide back down as if it was on ice, like a ton of car is going to just slip on the road surface, and I don't mean just roll back! I'm ok as a passenger mainly, this only affects me when driving. I also think it's cos I'm inclined back rather than upright and also that I'm in control of the car I get vertigo, not good when you're behind the wheel, but I try and relax to stop that.

However, one day a friend and I took my Mum out for a drive, she didn't really know where she was due to her Alzheimer's. We went to a local steep hill. It wasn't too bad at first but nearer the top it became very steep. I had to put my left forearm around the headrest in front of me (I was in the back) and I buried my face into it. When we finally got to the top I checked my pulse and it was 120! Did not like that at all.

I also get a weird tingling feeling when I go over a bridge.

So it's probably quite common. Just try and lie down and relax and slow yourself and your heart rate down.

Hope you feel better soon

[Snoodlester]

Thanks Shakey. It did calm down relatively quickly, but at the time I felt totally desperate - I don't think I've experienced it quite so intense, so it scared me to think things are getting worse. I have to try to put it to one side and move on.

[granny85]

Don't worry about taking Zoplicone - I took half most nights for 8 years!! I decided to come off them a year ago (slowly) & had no ill effects apart from a bit of tingling in my fingers! If it's broke, fix it! xx

[Snoodlester]

Really? Thanks Granny. I thought they were only short term, but at the moment that seems to be my only option

[Caramel]

Hi Snoodlester,

I am so sorry to hear you're having such a rough time at the moment.

I have been having a terrible couple of weeks too, with the worst panic and anxiety I've ever had, but this afternoon, for some reason I started to feel better and for the first time in a few days I've actually managed to eat a proper meal.

What I'm trying to say is that this WILL pass. I know it doesn't feel like it now, but it WILL. Don't worry about taking the meds - I've had to break my golden rules and take Diazepam (Valium) a few times over the last 2 weeks, but sometimes we need a little help is all.

I hope you're feeling a little better now.

[NE21 worrier]

Glad to hear you're doing a bit better, Caramel.

Hope things are going better for you, Snoodlester too!

[Snoodlester]

Thanks Carmel and NE21.
I've actually got some diazapine from the doctor to help me through, so hopefully things will start to improve soon.
Hope you're all feeling better too

[sime]

i hate going in cars im ok round the town but out of it im scared to death something will happen if i have to go out of town i normally take diazepam to try and calm me dosent always work i know its silly if i hear about a crash i think im next it drives my wife crazy but thats gad for you

[Snoodlester]

Thanks Sime
What dose of Diazepam do you take? My doctor's given me a 'course' of 2mg 3 times a day as I'm really anxious at the moment. I'm wondering if it would help to have some for emergencies, but at the moment it doesn't seem to be doing much to calm me