From the depths of depair to flying in the air!!

[Annie0904]

I have just been reading over some of my posts from last year and how ill I was then, Not being able to leave my bedroom, constantly crying, trembling, nauseous, not being able to eat. My doctor was visiting me at home as I couldn't leave the house.
As many of you know, I have just returned from a holiday in Croatia, I was anxious getting there (crying on the flight) but fine coming back.
So how did I do it?
Trying to be positive and telling myself I could get better. This wasn't always easy and there were days when I told my husband I would rather die than feel like I was. CBT4Panic helped me a lot, especially with getting out again. I have to thank Robin Hall for his part in this. My friends here on NMP have been a great help in encouraging me to to do things I never thought I could do.
Work were putting pressure on me to go back so I took the decision to leave so that I didn't have the feelings of guilt for not being there.
I have had intense psychotherapy which has helped me in my opinions about myself and to deal with issues from my past.
I then took the decision to book a holiday and I won't deny that I almost changed my mind about going last week but I didn't want to let others down so went. I really enjoyed it and I am now looking forward to my next holiday.
I am aware that the anxiety maybe triggered again at any time but the important thing is I have come through it (The second really bad episode for me) and I am becoming stronger again and able to deal with it. My next step is to look for another job. Never Ever give up!! Feel the fear and do it anyway!!!

[BobbyDog]

Just what I was thinking when I read your post "feel the fear and do it anyway", and you did it, I am so pleased for you Annie, well done lady!

[Annie0904]

Thank you BobbyDog..you are one of the people who has helped me through this with your kind words of encouragement. x

[Tessar]

yes yes yes "feel the fear and do it anyway". That is just sooooo right. You have really achieved so much, annie. it's because of people like you, contributing on a daily basis, that help to make NMP what it is. I have managed some stuff too & there's no doubt your influence has helped me in that enormously.
So keep up the good work my inspirational lady!!!!!
I really was very, very impressed you went to croatia, i was doubting that it would happen for you but it did and for that you deserve a medal!!!!

[Annie0904]

Tessar you helped me so much in getting there, especially when you managed to fly yourself Thank you so much

[Tessar]

Yay, I'm glad I was able to help..... It's good here isn't it? Part of a big support network. That's what has been giving me confidence to do these things!! It really does lay off to keep at it. To stick to routine. To make yourself do things. Regardless of how insignificant it might seem, all those little things, the little baby steps are what get us there in the end.....

[Annie0904]

So true Tessar and the thing is we know that the people who are encouraging us here know how hard it is so we are more likely to listen to our NMP friends than we are to others.

[lizzie29]

Well done, that's brilliant! I'm going on holiday at the end of July and will be sooo nervous, but I have to do it. It helps to know others struggle but still did it, so it is possible! I'm going to go prepared with books, puzzle books, etc so I can distract myself if needs me and keep my mind busy on not worrying. Fingers crossed!

[Annie0904]

I hope you have a lovely time Lizzie and well done for planning it when you are so nervous. I put some relaxing music on my MP3 player. I didn't realise though that you can not wear head phones during take off and landing but it was nice and relaxing for the rest of the journey.

[lizzie29]

Thanks. I'll give that a go too, I have some on breathing which should be good. Well done again!