Hi, I remember feeling like you years ago, it is probably one of the most unpleasant things I've ever been through. I remember I had to walk through town by myself because I had a job across the other side. I was really worried something awful would happen each journey and would end up running home to get back before I collapsed and died.
It started when I had a God almighty panic attack in Leeds, suddenly the buildings seemed huge and the crowds made me feel claustrophobic and I couldn't cope. i don't know how i made it back to the office, but I did and the manager called an ambulance - what made it worse was they stuck those heart monitor stickers on me - so I was convinced I would die. It took them three hours and a duty psychologist to convince me I wouldn't die.
From then on, I couldn't bear being outside (or inside even). However, I did CBT and it gradually got better. I've had the odd blimp and even years later a fleeting moment in a supermarket, but I can always convince myself I'm fine, i no longer have to run out of the supermarket.
It's interesting that you focus on your stuttering and when you think other people focus on other things. For me it was that I would collapse in the street and die, but I know some who won't leave the house without make up.
What I mean is that everyone around you is focusing on their worries, things you wouldn't guess. Like "if I don't go out of the house without make up everyone will look at me and think I look awful", even though the reality is that no-one would. Stuttering I can understand why you might think the whole world would focus on you stuttering, but i think anyone's reaction is "they've got a stutter", but remember there is no ridicule in this, it's just an observation and then you have to remember most people won't notice.
I'm coming from the viewpoint of a non-stutterer. I can promise you, it's not something people pay any attention to, just like my friend who can't be seen without make-up, they just wouldn't even notice, because they're all going about their own lives, worrying about their own problems.
We think we live in a big bad frightening world. in reality i think it's quite the opposite - people do care, they're not looking around with a big critical eye waiting to laugh at people, waiting for them to trip up (apart from the odd silly child, and to look cool to them, you'd have to wear pants halfway down your backside).
I understand it is just this big relentless cycle when you're going through it, but you can get over it. Don't know if you're getting any help at the moment. It's good to try and set yourself little targets, like you have done (you don't have to go through great big challenges, just small ones). Don't expect it to go overnight, embrace any little step you complete and remember it's not a race, I know you want to get rid of your fears, but don't beat yourself up if things go a bit wrong.