So scared HA will come back

[popejoan]

I've been in Turkey visiting my family for a week. I was scared of many cancers before and the last one was bowel cancer, I had a colonoscopy it confirmed everything is fine and now I'm feeling sooo great. Being with my family is a big help too. I'm going back to England tomorrow and I'm lonely there. I got uni only 2 days a week and my boyfriend comes back home around 6 and until then I'm by myself. I'm so scared I'll find another symptom and be scared of some sort of cancer again. I signed up for a yoga class which will start soon and I'm having therapy but I don't know what else I can do to avoid HA coming back again. Does anyone have any suggestions? I'm scared of HA itself. I wish I could stay here with my family but real life will start tomorrow :(

[Katki]

You've been checked for cancer, you're clear. You do not have it.

Did you have bloods taken as well as having your colonoscopy? Your mind should be completely put at rest.

Keep going with therapy it is the right thing to do. Just keep reassuring yourself that you are NOT ill. You are healthy, there are lots of people out there who wish they were in your position.

I have just been in hospital for 3 days and my bed was next to a lady who had blood poisoning, lung and heart problems, pneumonia and couldn't walk as she had cellulitis (spelling maybe wrong sorry). She inspired me as she still had an amazing sense of humour despite everything. She was so positive and enjoyed life even sitting there in the hospital she was always laughing. I will always think of her.

[popejoan]

Hello Katki, thanks for your answer. I had my blood tested before colonoscopy and there was nothing wrong other than low ferritin levels. I feel like HA is not done with me yet and I feel like anxiety is trying to find a symptom to hold on. I keep teelling myself that do not google, do not listen to your body or do not try to relate whatever test results to something sinister. I feel like there are other parts in my body that haven't been tested and there might be an early stage cancer somewhere and it will be too late when it's diagnosed.

I will do my best though, definitely continue my therapy and I'll try to stay away from google.

Bless her, I wish I was half as positive as she is. Hope you are okay and there is nothing wrong with your health x

[Katki]

Being in hospital made me realise I am healthy. It is not a fun place to be. It also made me realise how debilitating anxiety is and how, with all respect, it can be equally, but differently crippling than some REAL illnesses if you have the mental state that will allow it to affect you. Some of us are stronger than others no matter what the issue is, is what I'm saying.

You really need to just remind yourself regularly that you are fit and well. In a young, healthy woman it is rare to get cancer randomly with no family history of the same cancer. My doctor told me i had a 1-3% chance of getting cancer. More than I'd like but a lot less than many people out there who have to suffer family members going through it and possibly go through it themselves.

As much as I can't take my own advice, life is short - don't waste the best time of your life worrying about your health.

[popejoan]

You're right about some people being stronger than others. My mum had breast cancer when she was 38 so I'm being checked, I'm also on birth control pills so I think that increases the risk. Breast cancer is not specifically what I'm scared of though, I'm scared of any cancer and it move around my body, whenever i have clean test results, cancer fear moves somewhere else in my body.

I think that percentage is very little considering 1 in 3 women will get cancer in their lives.

You're right, this is my first day back in England now and I'm doing alright for today. I had a little worry about my stool color and a little bit abdominal and back pain but I'm not panicking.