Does anyone else here blush?

[SurfingWaves]

Just wondered. It's the main reason I have social anxiety now. Happens at the worst times it has nearly destroyed my life I think I have social phobia from it

[MyNameIsTerry]

Yeah, and I have been since childhood. I didn't start with anxiety until I hit 30 though.

Loads of people do. It's just one of those automatic things and it's changing your perception of what it means and how other perceive someone who blushes that is going to be important.

We used to talk about this in one of the modules we discussed in the charity walk-ins I used to go to. How we believe others can see our anxiety or are looking at us oddly when in fact they can't or are looking at us whilst thinking of something else and it's often our perception that is the problem. If someone sees someone blushing, thats all the see. They may wonder why but the won't make a connection to anxiety because blushing is very common and then most people have no clue about anxiety disorder symptoms anyway. They just move onto their next thought. It is us that perceive things as more than they are and then worry about how we are being perceived.

[SurfingWaves]

Thanks for replying Terry.
I have got myself so worked up about this in the past that it has led to other problems like intrusive thoughts/OCD, I used to go red when people around me were talking about Gay people and I have nothing against these people but I know I am not gay yet it actually got to me so much that I started to question it for months it drove me crazy with panic and stress.

I dread going red when people talk about anything taboo because I imagine they will think I am in to that or hiding something, the worries never end.

Also When ever someone loses something in work or whatever and they ask has anyone seen it I go red and look like I have stolen it!

I know what you mean by saying it is my worrying about how it will be perceived.
Cheers

Surfing

[sial72]

Thanks for replying Terry.
I have got myself so worked up about this in the past that it has led to other problems like intrusive thoughts/OCD, I used to go red when people around me were talking about Gay people and I have nothing against these people but I know I am not gay yet it actually got to me so much that I started to question it for months it drove me crazy with panic and stress.

I dread going red when people talk about anything taboo because I imagine they will think I am in to that or hiding something, the worries never end.

Also When ever someone loses something in work or whatever and they ask has anyone seen it I go red and look like I have stolen it!

I know what you mean by saying it is my worrying about how it will be perceived.
Cheers

Surfing

i

I have been the same. When people look at me, when I work (I teach)...I've got to the extent where I blush when my husband mentions any male person. I then think he will think I am having an affair with that person because if not why would I blush. So I then started to avoid conversations with him in case he mentioned anyone that caused me to blush...

[SurfingWaves]

Hi Sial72 its so annoying isn't it. I was like this with my girlfriend and in the end I talked to her about how it was affecting me and that I might be giving off 'false signals' and she is very understanding, she is the only person I spoke to about it because it is so hard to talk about.

It's great that you are not letting it stop you and you are teaching. I would like to feel comfortable enough to work in a sociable job but instead I choose jobs that don't have to work with the public or lots of people. I find it so hard meeting new people because of the fear of blushing and more recently sweating.

strangely I don't feel as fearful when I'm outside and don't tend to blush very much at all then. I wonder why that is. .

Take care
Surfing

[MyNameIsTerry]

i

I have been the same. When people look at me, when I work (I teach)...I've got to the extent where I blush when my husband mentions any male person. I then think he will think I am having an affair with that person because if not why would I blush. So I then started to avoid conversations with him in case he mentioned anyone that caused me to blush...

Thats a good example of some of the Cognitive Disortions as I was taught by a charity; misinterpreting what others think based on my own thoughts as if they are mindreaders. your husband will probably just wonder why you blush but not have a clue and how could he make such a conclusion as to you having an affair? You know he can't. Avoidance will certain reinforce the fear since you then associate the scenario with a possible feared outcome.

Whilst I don't blush in that kind of situation, I do often have thoughts about whether I am giving off signals that could be interpreted wrongly e.g. looking at a black person and then thinking "oh god, did I look at him/her wrong and do they think I am racist now". I've had thoughts like that way before my anxiety started but you just brush them off. I know I'm not racist but I think it's more because I want to appear to come across well to others.

---------- Post added at 08:11 ---------- Previous post was at 06:24 ----------

Thanks for replying Terry.
I have got myself so worked up about this in the past that it has led to other problems like intrusive thoughts/OCD, I used to go red when people around me were talking about Gay people and I have nothing against these people but I know I am not gay yet it actually got to me so much that I started to question it for months it drove me crazy with panic and stress.

I dread going red when people talk about anything taboo because I imagine they will think I am in to that or hiding something, the worries never end.

Also When ever someone loses something in work or whatever and they ask has anyone seen it I go red and look like I have stolen it!

I know what you mean by saying it is my worrying about how it will be perceived.
Cheers

Surfing

Yeah, I know what you mean. I gave an example of something to Sial that I have had since long before my anxiety started. I have others like the one you mentioned about people saying something is missing or something has been done wrong. I would get it with specific people at work even though I was very confident, it was like they were able to get through my defences very easily yet I could easily handle people higher than them or their own boss!

Look up the Cognitive Distortions if you haven't read them, they are useful. Mindreading is a good one for things like this on that list.

It's a typical self doubt thing and it shows how it can spiral with it hitting you as a Pure O form.

[MyNameIsTerry]

strangely I don't feel as fearful when I'm outside and don't tend to blush very much at all then. I wonder why that is. .

Thats interesting. So, if you feel you have a wide open space and that you are not prevented from escaping, you don't feel the pressure?

They do say Social Anxiety Disorder is close to Agoraphobia and Panic Disorder. Agoraphobia tends to manifest a lot like the need for escape.

[SurfingWaves]

Im much better outside yes and also if I am wearing sunglasses (indoors) I can talk to people without going red I think it is because eye contact sets me off quite quickly too. Also if I am sitting down indoors I feel more vulnerable to it happening than if I am standing up!

I need to get my mind to interpret the blushing differently because right now when it happens I get a strong wave of fear and a need to escape feeling.

I should add that in the last week I have been started on Citalopram and it seems to help the blushing slightly at 10mg. I might up to 20mg after a month but right now 10mg is helping with my GAD which I'm very thankful for

[sial72]

Im much better outside yes and also if I am wearing sunglasses (indoors) I can talk to people without going red I think it is because eye contact sets me off quite quickly too. Also if I am sitting down indoors I feel more vulnerable to it happening than if I am standing up!

I need to get my mind to interpret the blushing differently because right now when it happens I get a strong wave of fear and a need to escape feeling.

I should add that in the last week I have been started on Citalopram and it seems to help the blushing slightly at 10mg. I might up to 20mg after a month but right now 10mg is helping with my GAD which I'm very thankful for

The same here, I'm ok with sunglasses on and in places with not much light (like restaurants in the evening)...

[rainwinder]

yes I blush, I don't know its my anxiety cause me to blush or it blush cause me anxiety. I mean, they are related.