Believe I have a Serious Illness

[HopelessWorrier2011]

This is the first time I have ever posted on here although I have taken comfort from following some of the threads.

I'm not sure if I am posting in the right section but here goes.

I have had a bit of a rocky year, having a sigmoidoscopy due to small amount of blood in stools at the beginning of the year (this has been an ongoing problem for at least a decade). One 3mm polyp found which sent my anxiety into orbit, this turned out benign but during this time I was convinced I had something seriously wrong with me. Even with the clear result I cannot seem to shake my anxiety and am convinced myself there is something seriously wrong with me. I lost my appetite the beginning of the year, which only fuelled my anxiety and my belief I was ill. My appetite returned I believe when my anxiety levels improved but it is slowly disappearing again which is slowly convincing me I have a serious illness. I do not have any other significant symptoms apart from slight bloating and slight constipation sometimes with minor loose stools other times. I am constantly thinking about my appetite or lack of it which makes me want to eat less and makes my anxiety heighten, I haven't lost any weight. I can't stop googling which I know is the worst thing I can do. This whole episode is draining me. Would appreciate any advice, no matter how small xxx

[Traceypo]

Therapy is the best advice I can give. Although I'm not cured, I've progressed so far. Well done on posting your fears, it's a huge step to accepting that this thought process is irrational. Google will never be your friend, if I'm tempted to Google, I put in the symptom followed by anxiety and you'll find anxiety can generate virtually all symptoms.
I'd recommend talking to your gp about your feelings and request cbt. I'm in the north east and we have a self referral system which is brilliant.
I don't, and never have medicated my anxiety. I'm determined to get my own answers and accept it eventually.
Good luck hun, I hear Claire weekes books are great, I'm waiting for mine to arrive.
X

[sial72]

I would recommend Claire Weekes books xx

[HopelessWorrier2011]

Thank you very much for both of your responses, I will certainly try the books. I am too in the North East and have self referred previously, for various other issues. I seem to even out after Therapy but it seems to creep back up on me. Oh to be anxiety free eh? Haha x

[Traceypo]

I've got my third telephone assessment today, I've had a full cbt, refresher cbt, I'll let you know what they suggest today. Xx

---------- Post added at 14:07 ---------- Previous post was at 12:02 ----------

Hi hun, just had my telephone assessment, they are going to book me in for some cbt to focus on relapse, refer for psychology (waiting list is a year but I was prepared for that). I'm hoping to put it to rest this time. Good luck x

[HopelessWorrier2011]

Thank you very much for updating me. Anxiety is such a vicious circle!! It pains me to think I might spend my life in Therapy when all I want is to lead a "normal" life . It's draining putting on a front to the outside world when inside your mind is eating you up. This past year I've convinced myself I've had:
Bowel Cancer
Non hodgkins Lymphoma
Cervical Cancer
And today I have been at a team building event with work, Go Karting! Needless to say I have had a bang and jolted my head so now I've obviously having a bleed on the brain, I laugh at myself on the outside but on the inside I'm making myself ill.

Good luck in your therapy, I wish u all the health and happiness in the world xx

[JaeBee]

As horrible as this may sound and that certainly is not my intention but it is SOO nice to know there are other people who are 'like me'. Living with HA is like living in a recurring nightmare and like Tracey I recommend CBT. I have always worried more than most I guess about my health but this year after need emergency surgery it just went nuts. I have started CBT and it is really helpful. I have listened to a few of Claire Weekes clips on Utube and will also get her book. I have started to practice mindfulness as well, even a few times a day go outside and focus solely on one sense for a few minutes, for example, look at how beautiful a tree may look or a bird, then feel something, a leaf, a tree, the grass, smell something..... I find it quite helpful, there are some good mindfulness clips on utube as well the my psychologist recommended, I will send you the link if you like.

[HopelessWorrier2011]

I know exactly what you mean being glad you find people who suffer the same as you, it doesn't make you feel as "abnormal".
I do struggle for time to do any form of mindfulness exercises (I seem to run at 100mph) as a full time working mother to two girls (same old motherhood story). I guess I need to slow down and make time. I would really appreciate the links xx

[CeeCeeCee]

Hi Hopelessworrier and Traceypo. I'm also in the North East and haven't heard of self referral? I had some CBT through my doc last year and it was such a bother to get there I'm wondering if there are more around the area that I can get to more easily. I have health anxiety and it did help a bit. I'm off for some blood tests now and I'm as nervous as anything in case they come up with something :-(

[HopelessWorrier2011]

Hi Cee,

If you discuss Talking Therapy to you GP he should be able to give you all the contact details. If you have no joy, contact 0800 804 8155. Where you are able to self refer.

Good luck xx