Paedophile OCD

[Sunflower]

Hello everyone

I have not been on the site for a little while. At the moment I am having an extremely rough time with the OCD. Does anyone have paedophile OCD thoughts. I am in a new relationship with my boyfriend - about three months now and we are so happy but my OCD has raised its ugly head. He has a five year old daughter and about 4 weeks ago I was introduced to her in a coffee shop. We sat the three of us for about half an hour and the meeting went really well. Out of the blue OCD starts telling me yesterday that I touched her in an inappropriate manner and my anxiety levels have gone crazy. I have had close to two horrible panic attacks this weekend.

I also get OCD thoughts that when I will be in her company that I would abuse her.

Does anyone else have this form of OCD - it is crippling.

Sunflower.

[kellym]

Hi Sunflower,

i dont have these thoughts myself but i do have others that are crippling, there are lots of people that do have these thoughts - even my therapist has said that he has had these thoughts in the past so you are not alone, and if you look back on other posts you will see that many people have and find it as troubling as you do but you will also find ways to help you from people's replies!
Take care
x

[woofybaby]

Hi Sunflower,

I've had similar thoughts - not identical though but like Kelly I've heard of others that do.

OCD will always pick on the thing you fear the most. Try (and this works for me) repeating again and again - "I'm not a paedophile - it will only happen if I choose to do it, and I choose NOT to do it". My therapist has said that when we actively choose to do the opposite to what our OCD is suggesting then that starts the process of beating it.

You have my love and support - I understand how frightening this is for you.

xx

[Sunflower]

Hello

Thank you for your replies.

i am now battling with the idea of needing reassurance. It is as though i am being pushed to ask my boyfriend if at anytime did he leave me alone with the little girl, even though it was outside of a coffee shop in the broad daylight. These thoughts are driving me crazy and my anxiety is very bad.

Sunflower

[thedood]

Thats not pleasant Sunflower. But you are not alone.

To be fair, I think most people have thoughts like that drift into their heads from time to time. Its like people who suffer from tourettes syndrome end up screaming out the most inappropriate thing...those things enter all of our minds. Not because we want to do it, or because we have those tendancies but because it is something that bothers us and in that way has found a place in our minds. The truth is you will never act on it...you are ONLY obsessing about it.
You didn't touch your bf's child inappropriately because you did not hurt the child, exploit the child or gain any perverse satisfaction from it. To a paedo, a child is like candy in a candy shop. You know this is not the case with you.

You just need to let it go and shrug it off.

[neonpink_smurf]

i just wanted to say that this happens to me too, i get terrified that i might turn into a paedophile and a horrible sick person.. it comes and goes i haven't figured out a way to completely get rid of it.. i think itsso scary because we don't know why these people act in such a way.

[Filthy1]

hey
i have had pretty similar thoughts to you, especially when i was a teeager, that OCD bloody ruined me! i couldnt interact sexually with anyone "just in case" i was thinking sick thoughts. I couldnt stay in the same room as a kid, look at a kid, talk about a kid! Then one day, after years of this it just went.
Then about a year ago i had massive panic attacks again but this time over relationship OCD, which i had a lot of help with on sites like this. Then the old OCD returned and again the same things, i couldnt be with my nephews or other kids etc etc etc.
I did some posting and discovered that a lot of OCDers have experienced these thoughts, which was a great relief. I also learnt alot about what OCD is and how to recognise what it is, that its not me and to ignre the thoughts. I have just about got over that OCD again thank god!
So take that as a positive. If i can do it you can. Like i expect you know OCD will pick on the worst possible thing your mind can think of and make you belive it will happen, whether your a peadophile, that you wanna harm people, that your schizo or that you dont love your bf/gf.
So dont worry you arent what your OCD tells you and it IS just your OCD creating those thoughts.
hope this helps

[Lilith1980]

I've had this a few times and I think it was more than likely brought on by the abuse I suffered from my older brother and uncle.

One time I was in the living room alone with my younger brother (when I was 14 and he was 10) and I walked out perfectly normal. Then something hit me and told me that I had touched him in a bad way and I felt sick. I kept asking him if I'd done anything and he looked so confused and said no, it was horrible.

About 2 years ago I became convinced that I had abused my younger brother as a result of my older brother abusing me. So I had to ask him outright, and the answer was no. It was crippling though.

I cant really offer any advice but you're not alone in this and you shouldnt feel like you're sick in the head or anything.

[matt1981]

I can assure you that you are NOT sick in the head. A lot of people with anxiety can have bizarre thoughts of terrible things such as this. I have had thoughts like I hate my mother and my sister when in reality I dont at all its the complete opposite. Last summer, my sister and my step-sister both had their proms on the same day. My step-sister is more popular than my real sister, she has more friends and she looked more attractive than my real sister. Fair enough, there's nothing wrong with thinking that. Its just an observation. However, becasue of this observation I started to have these really strong feelings of dislike or hate towards her. I felt I didnt want her in my life and I never wanted to see her again. As you can imagine this caused me a great deal of anxiety. But they were just thoughts. I have read other posts on here aswell. People have said they have had thoughts about neglecting their horses and leaving them to starve and even wanting to harm members of their families. These arent the posts of sick mad people they are just people who are anxious and are just struggling to control their thoughts.

DISTORTED thoughts cause anxiety REALISTIC thoughts dont I cannot stress this enough. I hope this makes you feel better.

[shoegal]

Hi there,

I think everyone has unpleasant thoughts that just pop up in their heads sometimes. I will admit that once when I was cuddling my cute little dog in my arms I began thinking how much he trusted me and how I could break his neck so easily because the silly thing would probably just let me! I know this is a sick thought and I was upset that I even thought it, but I KNOW I would never hurt any animal because I even pick up snails off the pavement so they don't get trodden on! The point is, we all have weird random thoughts which are harmless. They only become a problem if we start questioning why we thought them and become anxious about it. The fact that we find these thoughts so distressing is the proof that we would never act upon them.

Please try not to worry about your unwanted thoughts.

Love and hugs from shoegal xxx