worried about work

[becs]

i,ve had a good day today went to aqua aerobics this morning then had a indian head massage was really nice to do things for myself , however been worying about work i feel guilty about being off sick but the thought of returning makes me panic , i worry that i wont be able to concentrate that i wont be able to care or support the women in my care the thought of feeling the immense responsilbility is so dauting .
however a part of me feels i have to go back because i know the longer i leave it and avoid it the harder it will be .

i feel so self consious on what my work colleagues must think , constantly worried they will see me out at asda or something

most of all i worry about experiencing the physical symptoms at work so tired too , i feel like it would be dangerous for me to practice as a midwife , i know i need to give this time .

does it just get to the point where one day you wake up and feeel normal

i am almost findind it easier not to socialise too , dont have to try hard at conversation dont really feel i would be a great friend at the moment but i worry that i will end up with nobody sometimes i avoid talking to my husband about it too dont want to go on and on

does anyone else find it easier to cope alone

[nettles]

Yes, I feel guilty if I speak to my husband about my problems when he comes home from work and I know he's tired. Socializing is tricky, you want to be honest about how you feel, but at the same time don't want to feel like a burden and like you have nothing positive to offer.
I think you should still try to socialize though, isolation can only make things worse. If you don't want to talk about what's going on in your life just try to listen to other people, chat about their lives, just try to have a bit of fun and let your troubles go for a while. Sometimes being around other people can lift you, even if it doesn't sort your problems out, it can take you out of yourself for a while, and it's important to give yourself a break from your worries.
Sounds like you're loading an immense about of responsibility on your shoulders, try to ease up on yourself - I know this is easier said than done, but your job, your friends, colleagues, husband can all look after themselves for a while; the more you worry and try to force everything to be right/better, the harder it will be. People are so much more understanding and accepting than we imagine, so give yourself a break, take the time that you need, and allow yourself to do the things you need to do to get better.
Hope you feel better soon.
Nettles x

[becs]

thankyou so much for your kind words means so much i know your right just need to relax