You poor thing ((Hugs)) I really hope you feel better soon. I had a good read through what you said, it seems like you are really feeling the pressure at the moment, in some ways from lots of angles.
I too worry like you, I feel I will never be the person I used to be, and never feel happy with myself of my life. I think it can get better for us, its good you have your therapist too, do you find them helpful?
I can relate to isolating yourself from other people, I'm the same. Sometimes, you can feel lonely in a room full of people, yet on your own, you feel completely comfortable.
I hope you feel better soon