Am i ever going to get over this ??

[honeyp1e]

well am sitting here freezing cold but sitting ontop of the fire basically....my dad says i need some meat on my bones lol
anyway all yesterday i suffered with bad trapped wind that just wouldnt budge =( so me bein me basically freaked out just couldnt stop feeling & getting those panicky feelings (tight chest, dry mouth nausea. tight stomach feeking, trembling and to top it all off i had been up since 5am yesterday morning and had only eaten 2toast at 6am, 1choc bar a few biscuits then a tuna baguette at 12pm (i was so hungry but with my emetophobia i just coulldnt eat as i was to anxious and i always just lose my appetite and it was now aroung 11pm or later my heart started pounding and i could feel the attack coming on so i got up after a little fight with my negative thinking so as i was doing the ironing i started to calm right down and just felt back to normal so once i finished the ironing it was around 1am my body was so tired as i had been awake for just over 20 hours now so as i like the tv or sometht, shaking, trembles ang on to sleep i put that on and as i was just watching a bit of tv that neg thinking came back just thinking about the trapped wind i had and the hunger feelings and nausea i was having so i went into fully blown panic attack 10/10 i felt like i just wanted to curl up and die :( my chest went so tight it was unreal i was getting a nervous tight feeling in my stomach and throat and topping it off all the negative thinking flying around my head so i went and woke my partner up who just told me to try calming as its only anxiety and extreme hunger & for me to go make a slice of toast to break up the wind and take away the hunger feelings which would setle my belly and i would most prob start calming down well i couldnt force mysef to eat as in panic i just lose al appetite =( the worse was the tight chest feeling as ihave never had this before i usually get the tight knot sickly feeling in my belly so i finally fell asleep about 3am ish
but woke up this morning still a bit anxious but have a bad headache and my poor stomach was growling like crazy cos i hadnt eaten and it was well to long to be going without food, or without sleep am just making it worse on my self so today is a bad day just feeling anxious, lump in throat, dry mouth, cold, headache & bit shakey =( i have to go out soon for my dads bday i have been looking forward to this but now just dont wanna go !!! i no the only way to get over this is to just go push yourself to do things your scared just to let the anxiety no who is in control i no its easier said than done but how can i just learn to stay calm or at least alot more calmer durning these attacks and how can i eat ???
this is all i want i just wanna eat but i lose appetite or worry i wil vomit if i eat on a nervous tight stomach ?? (my bf says if your really gonna actually vomit your body just wil and that the nausea feelings i get are all ANXIETY !!!! y cant i believe him ?? i hate bein emetophobic....but my poor belly has been grumbling like crazy since yesterday and all i have had is half a slice of toast with jam on =(

i do have valium, sleeping tabs, beta blockers, the only ones i take are beta blockers everyday others r just for when needed ??
i have just booked an app for tue with a hypnoitist, =)
also tue i see dietician
wed counsellor
fri cbt counsellor

[paula lynne]

Hiya, Im bumping this up as you seemed to have slipped through the net and I think you need support. All I will say for now is anxiety is a sly beast and causes us so many different sensations. There are other emetaphobics here who have taken control. I remember one lady saying shed actually vomited because of a bug over xmas, and "it wasnt half as bad" as shed feared, in fact, the nausea was worse than the actual being sick. Anyway, please come back and let us know how things go at councelling, and CBT appointment honey, and we'll go from there. All the best xx

[honeyp1e]

my CBT appointment again was a let down it was only my 2nd appointment and was just more about getting to no me etc... i just want everything like yesterday =( like a magic wand !!

i have an appointment with a hypnotist on tue at 10.30am then my dietician at 12.30pm
then wed my counsellor & friday my CBT counsellor i just not finding the light the way out of here etc...
Ive also started suffering with bad acid reflux which is kicking my anxiety off and cos i am also having bad nausea from it then its kicking my phobia off its just one thing after another will it ever end??
i am meant to be on Citalopram just 10mg for a few weeks and work upwards and i havent yet took one of these as am to scared to take them even though i have bee on and off these for many years with hardly no side effects just a bit off feeling more anxious the first few weeks till they kick in but my negative thinking is taking over =(

[joannap]

my mum suffered with this fear for 2 years as a teenager - she felt sick constantly - she did eat but she found it hard to leave the house because she was worried she would be sick.

so - yes - anxiety can cause constant nausea and the acid reflux is because you are on edge and hungry lol! your stomach is producing acid but you are not giving it much to digest - plus - less food means lower/less stable blood sugar hence you will notice anxiety symptoms more. when my anxiety was at its worst at xmas i truly thought i would die if i got a headache/was ill but guess what?! i had a corker of a migraine that had me in tears for 12 hours but i survived and have just had a terrible head cold - nothing awful will happen to you if you are sick and you are less likely to be sick if you eat small amounts regularly xx

[feelingbad]

Whenever I feel so anxious that I cannot face food, I often find myself gagging and then panicking because I'm worried that I can't eat and won't be able to again! When I feel this way the only food I can face is things like mashed potato, tinned fruit, rice pudding etc. I find this easier to eat than things like toast which I struggle to swallow.

Hope things get easier for you.

[belgarion]

Not eating and getting the energy you need means you are going to run on adrenaline more surely, which can power panic attacks and you will have the come down from it which also isn't pleasant.

CBT is good, so give it a chance in your head. Don't be negative about it, feel positive about it. It helped me and I'm sure loads others a lot! I found the dietician just goes through some basic healthy diets and didn't really help at all. It's all very well them telling you what foods are good, it's more and more rammed into the media which is good, but I don't actually like a lot of healthy foods. :/

It's hard now, and there is a lot of things in your post which are all running around in your head. Soon you can organise those thoughts and hopefully get better.

Good luck!

[honeyp1e]

thanks for the comments guys my main trouble is the scid and been getting abd abdomen pains etc.. i finally demanded a full blood test off my doc who then finally found that i have a high food allergy =( so then i had to go for a food allergy test to pin point what the foods where so now that is all done and dusted i found out am allergic to WHEAT/POTATOES/BANANAS and for the past 6months due to my bad anxiety loss of appetite all i was forcing myself to eat was bread/toast/biscuits thats all i could really tolarate and felt comfortable with even if iwas in pain after eating them i just thought it was my acid playing up anyway now thats all done now i have to try getting used to this wheat/potatoe free diet =( and am waiting for my scope to get done to try sorting out my acid then maybe my anxiety will finally die down & i will start eating more =) am just glad i demanded my doctor to do me the food allergy tests x