hello English Guy
I sure empathise with your feelings about just being able to find a tablet to take off the edge of distress ......especially when your doctor refuses to prescribe .
But the answer is dont go down the internet route please x
there are a huge number of fake drugs out there filled with talc and worse .
please perhaps go to see different doc in practice ? I have found the older ones are more realistic and not so afraid to prescribe a short course of anxiety help..or longer meds to get you back on your feet ...........or CBT .
it does make me a bit mad that we can become so desperate for peace that that the LEGAL drug of alcohol is so easily obtained.
I know you spoke of England only English Guy ..so not presuming you were going to go abroad at all
just a general warning for the forum
keep strong .